Some happy news.  Kentville (pop. 7000), which features prominently in the story, is my nearest town.   N.S. Health works to expand access to youth gender-affirming care Andrew Lam · CBC News · Posted: May 12, 2025   Nova Scotia Health is working to expand access to youth gender-affirming care in the province by replicating a clinic model introduced in the Annapolis Valley last year. In February 2024, a youth clinic dedicated to providing this kind of health care opened in Kentville. Then another opened this March in Bridgewater, with more clinics in the works. "Accessing gender-affirming care isn't just a city thing or an urban thing," said mental health clinician Julien Davis, who is also trans.     

Thank you for your kind message and advise @Heather Shay I've been followed by a therapist since September for my depression and of course the gender question and how I see myself have been discussed quite often. I've been able to make good progress and feel more secure in being myself but it's true that I don't really know where I'm going. I guess I first need to "destroy" my past self which was (is) trying to cope as a "normal" man.   Now, I'm reaching a point where I feel like connecting with people who can relate to my journey would be beneficial. 

I heard that guitar sound in 1976 and immediately learned the rhythm guitar part and vocals for a pick up band that I joined when I moved to Cleveland from Toledo for a new job. I found out the guitarist who invented the guitar sound, wrote and recorded the album in his basement was named Tom Scholz and he was from a rich suburd ob Toledo called Ottawa Hills. I knew the area. I saw the band in Cleveland and was blown away with the group and my Toledo man. Tom had been a MIT grad, worked at Polaroid and in his spare time tinkered with guitar effects and his local Boston area bands, my favorite named Mother's Milk. Even when Boston went huge, Tom found not working an 8-5 job not to his liking so he started Scholz Electronics to build the sound device for guitar he called a Rockman.  His fanatic obsession with purety and analog sound kept him buried in his own studio, taking years to be satisfied with each recording he released. My tribute today is to my home town boy - Tom Scholz,  

Can you get used to limbo?

For a day filled with kindness, start by choosing positive affirmations, practicing mindful communication, and actively seeking opportunities to be helpful to others. Remember, even small acts of kindness can make a big difference.    Affirmations and Mindset: Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the good things in your life and express gratitude for the people and experiences that bring you joy.    Positive Affirmations: Start your day with affirmations like "My words leave an imprint on other's hearts," or "I can do kind things without being asked".    Mindful Communication: Be present in conversations, actively listen, and choose your words carefully.    Acts of Kindness: Be a Good Listener: Pay attention when others are talking, offer a listening ear, and validate their feelings.    Offer a Compliment: A genuine compliment can brighten someone's day.    Be Generous: Share your time, resources, or a kind gesture with someone who could use it.    Help Others: Offer to help with a task, take care of a pet, or simply lend a hand.    Be a Positive Force: Your positive attitude and actions can have a ripple effect on those around you.    Quotes to Inspire:   "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."    "A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money."   "You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force."    "Kindness is like snow—it beautifies everything it covers."    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." 

For a day filled with kindness, start by choosing positive affirmations, practicing mindful communication, and actively seeking opportunities to be helpful to others. Remember, even small acts of kindness can make a big difference.    Affirmations and Mindset: Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the good things in your life and express gratitude for the people and experiences that bring you joy.    Positive Affirmations: Start your day with affirmations like "My words leave an imprint on other's hearts," or "I can do kind things without being asked".    Mindful Communication: Be present in conversations, actively listen, and choose your words carefully.    Acts of Kindness: Be a Good Listener: Pay attention when others are talking, offer a listening ear, and validate their feelings.    Offer a Compliment: A genuine compliment can brighten someone's day.    Be Generous: Share your time, resources, or a kind gesture with someone who could use it.    Help Others: Offer to help with a task, take care of a pet, or simply lend a hand.    Be a Positive Force: Your positive attitude and actions can have a ripple effect on those around you.    Quotes to Inspire:   "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."    "A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money."   "You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force."    "Kindness is like snow—it beautifies everything it covers."    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." 

Welcome Aydhindril - love your name. I am so glad you found us and know we are here to answer any of your questions honestly and lovingly and based on personal journeys we been on. I found when I was exploring my Gender Identity, a wonderful workwork by a gender therapist named Dara Hoffman-Fox. The book is called Gender Identity and costs about $15 on Amazon. It gathered nearly all the questions I think were swirling around my head, organized and asked me to use my life and thoughts and wishes and help me really understand more fully who I was and help me move forward. Having a GD knowledgeable therapist also works wonders (make sure you are comfortable with whomever you find - I went to many before I found the one who really had me in mind). I know you see many answers to your introduction and I look forward to seeing and responding to them. If you have a topic or question you don't feel comfortable sharing with everyone, you can always message me and I answer as quickly as I can. I'm on daily).

Good morning   @KymmieL you never really know how family is going to react until it happens.  I got slammed pretty hard yesterday.  Our church has the men sing to the women on Mother’s Day and vice versa on Father’s Day it was raining and neither of us slept well so we decided not to go to church. I jokingly said so you don’t want the men singing to you? And she rather negatively says, I don’t have a man to sing to me and rolled over.  That one hurt more than she realizes.   I couldn’t sleep after that so I got up and laid on our couch.  Until I did.  100% chance of more rain today.  Good news/bad news. We need the rain, the store gets slow so the day is longer.  But I’m happy things are taking a turn for the better for you.   @awkward-yet-sweet and EVERYONE there’s being a mother by birth, and there is being a mother by action.  We are all mothers here.  You may not have gone physically through labor but you certainly mother the kids in your family unit.     16 for serious dating I can agree with, but supervised dates and dances or boy/girl activities I think is how kids begin to understand differences between members of the opposite sex and learn what they like and don’t like before getting committed, especially in a close (closed?) community.     well it’s almost time for me to leave for work. I won’t be on here tomorrow, I am going to an all day church meeting where we decide how we are going to do the business of the church, and this time it’s over two hours away.   Willow

the zoom sessions generally run for about 5 hours, you could possibly join early morning your time

The day of the revision surgery could the wizard fix me? I was made aware that two young trainees would be present during my surgery, one Philip Thomas the other James Bellringer and that my surgery was going to be televised for training purposes, did i object? no i am fine with that. My hospital care was exceptional and i was lucky the nhs had funded this surgery at this rather luxurious hospital, but then it did serve a cross purpose, the two young trainees later became head of one of the UKs largest Gender Identity Clinics at Charring Cross. Sadly my surgery failed, i was just too dam small, i went into emotional decline back to the gender clinics for more grooming and was i up for any more surgery mentally? my family stepped up mum did her best and tried to point out that sex wasnt everything, my brother said if i needed any money it was mine, my youngest sister took me off on holiday it was a time of mental recovery, i still had my good looks great body just............

Thats great, but I am UK based, so these tend to be in the middle of the night for me.

Hi Lucy, Welcome to these forums, I hope you manage to make connections with sole of the people here. If you wish to join in on a weekly friendly zoom chat, there is one held each weekend. It's very relaxed, and the people attending talk about all sorts of topics. Look for the latest notice attached to the end of this thread for the zoom details: cheers, Pip

Going for my revision surgery under the care of Michael Royle, the day did not start well when i got off the bus at the wrong stop i had to endure walking down a country lane and put up with guys whistling and the odd chant, I wouldnt mind giving her one!!. I eventually arrived at woodingdean sussex nuffield (photos below) I was greeted at the hospital and my bag was carried for me to my room, which looked more like an apartment (picture below) I got settled in and the usual details taken and the horrible nil by mouth. That evening Michael Royle came in to see me, " he prompted not often we get a young transsexual in" and he smiled. He went over the procedure and started to draw on my bellie where he was going to put the incision, I exclaimed no, noo, your not putting it their, well said Michael i will try here below the bikini line, a smile from me, then he went on to talk about the surgery and the risks, erm..... well what is a good outcome success i asked? we regard surgery of this type as successful if the patient is still alive after the procedure.  

Another bright beautiful day here in planet UK home of democracy. Sunday afternoon out with friends and had dinner was a lazy and laid back day, at least it took my mind off waiting to go into hospital for diagnostic tests. Today (Monday) had a lovely email from a friend asking me if I would like to be a Trans advocate, so thinking about how best i could do that.This week pending the hospital i hope to go on another walik this time with a slightly older group so it should be nice and not strenuous, Enjoy your day love your planet 

Hi everyone, I’m 45, a UK based trans woman about a year into HRT, and while I’ve made huge progress outwardly, inside I’m feeling more alone than I ever expected. I co-parent two lovely kids, hold down a full-time (draining) accounting job, and do everything I can to stay strong. But lately, it feels like I’m fraying at the edges.   I recently opened up to someone I’ve known for years—a friend who used to be like family. I told her I missed our connection, that I was struggling with the way things had changed. She replied honestly, but it left me feeling like I was asking for too much, like I’d made her uncomfortable just by needing her. Now I feel like the “problem,” and I’m scared that this disconnect will spread through our friend group. I already feel like the odd one out. I’m terrified of being fully excluded.   On top of everything, my family situation has been heart breaking. My mum & dad no longer accepts me as their daughter, and my brother has completely cut me off. There was no big confrontation—just a slow, cold disappearance. It’s like I don’t exist to them anymore, and it hurts in a way that’s hard to describe. I’ve tried to make peace with it, but some days the silence screams louder than any words could. It makes the loneliness cut even deeper, especially when I see other families offering love and support during transition. I’d give anything for that kind of warmth.   I’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and now that I’m finally being true to myself, it sometimes feels like I’m being quietly erased instead of celebrated. I’m exhausted. Hormones have changed my body beautifully, but they’ve also made my emotions crash in waves. I’m dealing with scars—physical and emotional—while still trying to show up as a gentle, present mum. I crave connection, but I constantly second-guess myself. I ask myself: “Am I being too intense? Too open? Too… me?” I fear that my need for closeness makes people retreat, and I don’t know how to be different without going back to hiding. I don’t want to hide anymore. I just don’t want to feel invisible.   I’m on a waiting list for surgery and trying to lose weight for that. I’m cancelling things I love to save money. I wake most mornings around 4am with anxiety. I try to be strong for my kids. But right now I feel like crawling into bed and seeing if anyone notices I’m gone.   I don’t need fixing—I just need reminding that this is survivable. That other women like me have walked through this sadness and come out the other side with real love and belonging. If that’s you, I would love to hear from you. If you’ve ever felt unwanted by the people you love because you stepped into your truth, I’d love to know how you got through it. Thank you for being here. Just knowing this space exists makes a difference.

Sometimes I need to hear this song again. A younger me sometimes knew better.