Trying to escape the madness, why?

Trying to make sense of me, my first six months past without hormones, now the letter of referal for hormone care, but, i wanted to try and understand why am i trans?

Back from Sicily. What a trip!

Possible spark occurred to me yesterday.

A relieving thought for the day could be that everything is transient, and realizing this can ease unnecessary worry and stress. Another thought is that you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously, embracing both your strengths and imperfections. A comforting idea is to focus on the present moment, letting go of past regrets and future worries.    Here are some more thoughts to consider: "There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it."    "As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong."    "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."    "Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."    "Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths." 

A relieving thought for the day could be that everything is transient, and realizing this can ease unnecessary worry and stress. Another thought is that you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously, embracing both your strengths and imperfections. A comforting idea is to focus on the present moment, letting go of past regrets and future worries.    Here are some more thoughts to consider: "There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it."    "As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter what is wrong."    "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."    "Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."    "Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths." 

How do you relieve pressures and tension/

Back at the gender clinic i suppose in a way they took my mind off my situation by the usual re enforcement rules, being in role I just felt like i wanted out. The colon surgery presented me with new problems, it was a colon and a colon function was to pass food so mucos would build up which became problematic, some times a little would appear other times well not so pleasant. My Colon surgery was a very early attempt and the colon was complete and not re sectioned, this had one good advantage i did not need to dilate as its essentially a tube which mucos passes through. A few years passed and the two surgeons present at my colon surgery had improved their skills and technology had a step change. Philip Thomas, one of the surgeons at Charring Cross Hospital said, Michael Royle was ahead of his time, but not quite there, could Philip and James fix me?

Thank you for taking the time out, it is very much appreciated.  My sister outside number 11 Downing Street, which at that time was where Boris Johnson, the then Prime Minister resided, she frequents the halls of the palace of westminster. Me in a blue top that mum said should end the problem of am i a girl or boy? needless to say back in school uniform that went out of the window! 

Welcome to TGP!  Sorry for the late welcome, but we just got back from a trip to Sicily late last night so I have not had much time here for the past week.   Like you, I found TGP when I was struggling with dysphoria and dysmorphia. Interacting with others here, finding support and acceptance, gaining friendships as well as discovering the wealth of information available in our forums was a huge part of accepting who I was and needed to become. It helped save my life.   I'm still catching up but if no one else has suggested it, working with a gender-qualified therapist can also be a huge help. It, literally, helped save my life.   Again, welcome, and I look forward to getting to know you.

Thank you @Carolyn Marie, apology accepted.   But I do think that this passage alone disqualifies the article as fair analysis. The York University systematic reviews themselves, commissioned by the Cass Review, found *no evidence whatsoever* for psychotherapy as a treatment for gender dysphoria. In a fair analysis, wouldn’t that at least rate a mention? Nor are RCTs either viable or ethical, given a patient will know within a couple of months whether they’ve been given a placebo or not, and the effects of that realisation are likely to be severe depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation. Again, I think a fair analysis would mention that.   One last point. This may seem like nitpicking but I think it’s pretty crucial, and shows that at very least the WP journalist has not done their research thoroughly. The article refers to both the HSS report and the Cass Review as “systematic reviews”. A systematic review follows strict criteria lacking in either of these policy documents, and is almost always peer reviewed.   

Thanks everyone for your welcome   @Charlize I really hope that finding this dpace will help me somehow by getting in touch with people having similar experiences as mine and also finding a place where I'm feeling safe to express myself.    In my life so far, I have barely been in contact with persons having faced gender transition, which is a shame.

https://www.advocate.com/health/hhs-trans-kids-mental-health     Nasty buggers, those new folks at HHS are.   Carolyn Marie  

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trumps-attacks-transgender-americans-test-100000669.html     Yup, it's going to be a wild a woolly race next year.  I can't say I'm looking forward to it.  Kamala Harris hasn't even decided yet if she will run.  I'm not at all sure if I like the idea of our community being the main, or even a major, attraction.  All I know for sure is that it will be a Democrat in the Winners Circle when the dust settles.   Carolyn Marie

@Betty K, I can understand how you came to the conclusion that I was "endorsing the article."   I stated that I felt it was a reasonable and fair analysis of the HHS report, and that it pointed out some flaws in both that report and the work of the WPATH, and that it was worth a read through.  I did not intend for my comments to be a full throated endorsement, however, and if that's how it came across, my apologies.  I have not read the HHS report itself (yet).  I think Erin In The Morning did a far better job of critiquing the editorial than I ever could.   I don't know the views of my former colleagues on the WaPo editorial, and I don't speak for them.  My term as a Board member ended in March.   Carolyn Marie

Yes, and she did an excellent job of it, too.  I'm glad that she pointed out the deficiencies, contradictions and hypocrisies of the WaPo editorial.  I'm also glad that I reprinted the editorial so that we can all read what's out there and have a good discussion about it.  That's what the News Forum is all about.  I do think there are almost certainly some issues with the SoC; there always has been debate about them, about the politics involved in the organization, about their methods and conclusions.   That is the nature of science, especially so with transgender healthcare science.  The more we know, the better we, as community members and advocates, can defend our position and ourselves.  We need to advocate for openness and truth, which is the opposite of what our critics desire.   Carolyn Marie