I have no tattoos, nor any desire to get any.  I don't see tattoos as a gendered thing.  I see them more as a generational thing.  If someone of my generation had a lot of tattoos, I would think it was unusual (though perfectly fine), whereas it is fairly normal for younger people.   As for piercings, I have two: one in each earlobe, like my mother did.

Hi, Amey.  Welcome to TGP!   Please feel free to join in any of the discussions on the site.  If you feel inclined to post an introduction, we'd love to get to know you better.

I'm 59 and due to start HRT in 2 weeks. Can't wait but still nervous. Lots of lovely comments. I'm hoping my dysphoria is quietened. X

I drive a (so-far) non-tattooed creature, so my response is only one of such a driver.   I don't have strong feelings about people having tattoos or what it may "mean" about them. I know some folks do (e.g. my mother, wow!), but - like most things - it doesn't signify a "type" to me. And it would never occur to me to "genderize" from it. I don't even think the content of the tattoos would be likely to register for me as "gendered."   I guess it's one of those things that just doesn't appeal to me, probably because I resist "permanence" in many ways, but I don't feel an aversion to it. I've known quite a few perfectly lovely people who've had many/extensive tattoos, and I've thought some of them were truly phenomenally beautiful. So when I see members of the tattoo community, I think what I feel is something like, "There's an appreciator of body art. Cool."   For what it's worth, I'm glad there's a community for it. There should be, same as with guitars or flowers or gigantic pumpkins, wilderness backpacking... Love what you love and share the love!

Toli @DrunkJam, I'm so glad you had some restorative experiences in Cardiff this weekend after the week you had. It's so helpful to get those occasional reminders that the things you want from life DO exist, and the necessary slog through the muck CAN lead us to a better place. Even better when we see some of the clues to the shifts we need to make - and they come from the INSIDE.     I feel this, too. For me, it's that I'm not (at all, really) interested in the "How do I pass/present to feel better?" kinds of questions, because I'm well aware that it works the other way around for me: How I *look* (and how others perceive me) doesn't govern how I feel. Instead, how I feel about myself will influence what I feel comfortable doing/expressing/sharing, and people will perceive that however they will.   I truly believe that, for most of us, there is *something* we all have in common that is a drive to feel within ourselves that we are and can just BE in the world something truly authentic. Where I deviate significantly from most here is that I think gender is a completely artificial social construct, like political parties or sports fandoms. There's nothing "wrong" with it, but it isn't an essential quality of anything. So, for me, what we're seeking is much broader than anything that can be achieved with clothing or hair or even surgery. Because of their psychological/emotional effects, hormones *may* be different.   It's this underlying inner truth, the pursuit, the sorting signal from noise, the clues, the recognition, the allowing/cultivating, sharing of that that's what really matters to me. And this is all extremely challenging to do, especially in a world where we are actively coerced from all angles to conform and consume. But that's my dream. And, as Toli said, I will do my best to bring that to these forums.

Do you think piercing and tattooing helps / hinders your gender expression?    I am a very tattooed person (and I have discovered that there is a point at which that tips over into belonging to the tattoo community at large, which, especially in the summer, when more of my tattoos are visible, I really like it, and it feels really UN gendered.)   I am *also* a very pierced person, and the two things do NOT always go together in terms of community and identity.    I was wondering how people feel about these things in terms of their identity? (I do not feel more OR less masculine identified due to mine)    I also find the process of getting them done helps me with mindfulness type stuff, bringing me to now, and helping me relax into just *being* in the right now. It's quite meditative. Maybe that's true for other people too? 

This week, I have been really struggling with ALL of my baggage, and my gender identity has felt like a heavy thing to put on top of all of it.    Therapy on Tuesday was especially challenging (in NON gender identity ways, mostly) and I have been recovering ALL week.    I hid myself in Cardiff for the weekend (it's Pride) I learnt a LOT about myself, and about people and it has helped me a lot.   Being a very tattooed person is a place in a community of its own. I can walk into a fully booked, no appointments available studio, and get small work done anyway, which really helps me reset.    I actually went to Pride (for ten minutes, it was too much for me, I need to find QUIET places to meet people, where do the quiet LGBTQ+ people go to meet people?) But I had no ticket (because I gave mine away in the morning) but they let me in anyway, because I asked nicely.    People are, in my experience, and unless they are related to me, NICE. Maybe this is why I don't have the (being a) trans person fear?   I got vegan pizza which was awesome.    I spoke to a very dear friend in DAYLIGHT HOURS, which was LOVELY   I bought a new shirt.    And this morning, I got a new piercing (which I am not entirely certain how much I love it, but I love that I know how it feels, and if I decide to take it out in some months / for work, it won't leave ANY mark) AND I picked up some of my family's EXTRA favourite doughnuts to take home. And now I am on the train home.    I DID Hide and cry SOME as was my original plan, but I feel like my skin has felt the sun, and I have had experiences and done things that make the weekend worth the travel.    I DON'T have support around me, and this week I FELT that.    I would like MORE. And I feel like the forum is a space I can bring SOME things, but, I do also feel that SOMETIMES, it is a bit short on the kind of gender questions I want to ask etc. So, I would like to see more of that (I should try to BE more of that I guess) 

Hi Amber and welcome. Best thing you can do imho is find a trans peer support group in your area and go to a meeting. Go in boy mode if you have to, they'll still welcome you. Trust me, online is a great start, but hanging out with irl trans folks will really help. 

Heather, my lovely, I am really sorry for my snappy comment. I sometimes feel like a bit of a lone FtM (ish) voice, and so, might have kid of over protected that space? I understood it wasn't malicious, and I am very willing to just put it behind me (honestly, people have been gendering me in that direction for a LOT of years, it will take a LOT of time and effort for people (and sometimes even me!) to routinely not do so.    I think we can (I HOPE we can) move forward together from this, and everything will be fine and we can share experiences and I can benefit from all your knowledge and kindness. 

The fight goes on for all.

Still struggling with my internal thoughts.

Do you have support around you? Does this forum help you? How can we help more?

Thank you and I love that you are moving ahead. Those are brave steps and I am proud of you. And no, you did not overact. You deserve respect and dignity, ALWAYS.