Keeping patience in mind is good.

Who has been your greatest teacher in your life, the one you've learned the most from?

This is a good conversation. I am not able to contribute much being a lot older but I think you are doing well, are open minded and understanding about these teachers who put their upbringing and set views that are not open minded your way. You should be affirmed and accepted for who you are. It is not for anyone else to decide who you are, just you and who you are that makes you happy is okay.  I do agree that role playing as someone like Superman is fine keeping in mind that you don't have the imaginary powers to actually jump off buildings expecting to fly. Being safe physically is always the best way to be.

Hi @KateHMI can relate - my spouse of 30 years was against my transition for many reasons and especially did not want to be viewed as a lesbian. It was painful and a lot of arguments but I wanted to save the marriage if at all possible and tried to be patient and compassionate and loving, also remembering my happiness needed to come first now and I built up the internal confidence in myself and if she wanted to break off the marriage I could cope. In my case after 2 years she finally learned and accepted me and in regard to the lesbian thing, she is comfortable with being my spouse not wife and that is perfectly fine with me. She is now one of my greatest allies and I am grateful.  As you know you can only change one person in this world and that is YOU and it appears you've been able to do that and I am proud of you. That is so hard what you are going through and I wish for you to find the happiness you so richly deserve and that affirmation and love that belongs to you. Hugs, Heather

@MaraiI am familiar with the Greg Allman audition but what I read he was pretty mucyh too weird to stay in that type of group and luckily we did get to hear the creative abilities of both Rusty and Greg. I think also, had Greg been in the group, Rusty would not have become the innovative pedal steel player he became.

Although "turmoil" might be too strong a word, I am moved by all the replies and wish all of you healing and strengthening in the journey we did not ask for but are making the best of as we learn, love and grow.

Welcome Karina. Love your name and so glad you feel safe as you can be in Canada. So glad you are here and know you are not alone and are in a group of wonderful people, some you've already met above. I'm so proud of you for doing something about being the real you so early in life and I, as well as this forum, want you to be YOU and not what anyone else says you should be. I hope you''ll participate as much as you are comfortable doing as I, also a shy person, have gained peace and friendship here and it has really helped open up my life. Hugs, Heather

Hey people!   I am sure you all know I am stumbling my way through therapy learning and aiming at being a better, more authentic, more stable and integrated into life person.    At the moment, this is covering my identity within the LGBTQ+ community. I found Pride to be alienating for me, and that was very upsetting.    As an AFAB person who has previously been in relationships with women, if PUSHED I would identify as lesbian. But this did not feel right to me. I have always struggled to identify as a woman, which kind of does make identifying as a lesbian a bit tricky, but ALSO, just the things that seem to come WITH identifying as lesbian felt like A LOT. I am all for equality and women needing equality and good treatment and fair wages and less discrimination. But, I don't feel like I need restricted spaces, or to ONLY socialise in this way or that I am *just* LGBTQ+   I feel like as a fully rounded member of humanity, who I am attracted to, or my genital arrangement, or even what label I use for myself (NAME is important, LGBTQ+ label? Is that really the MOST interesting and useful thing to know about me?) is largely irrelevant?   But this makes me feel like I am missing something? I feel like I am a person who has dreams and hopes and skills and talents and desires and ALL of that, but, I am supposed to just be a transmasculine person who generally is attracted to a more feminine presentation? It's almost NEVER relevant in my life? Unless I *am* attracted to you AND you are attracted to me, these are the LEAST useful pieces of information about me.    I get asking for name and pronouns is a necessary thing, but, that should be an easy thing, and if it is not, the issue is with the societal approach, NOT how much of MY identity is involved?

I was in the same situation.    I changed my name after she had already started talking about divorce, the timing was based on the presidential election that had just happened.    The divorce took so long that I had already had my chosen name for 14 months by the time it was done.    I have had to send copies of the divorce paperwork out for various things and glad that the name I provide and the name on the paperwork are the same. 

Welcome to TGP Forums, Karina!! We are so happy to have you join our community. It sounds as if you've found not just a safe place but also, and more importantly, yourself. You'll find a diversity of peoples here that makes it both fun and informational. Feel free to wander and to jump in wherever you are comfortable and have interest. I look forward to getting to know you!!  

OH, I was gutted about the cake. next week, I think I am going to make a Challah. Something good, but a bit more robust for carrying from town to town!    I have had about four minutes sleep, and will be going back to bed when the last child has left for the day.    But today I am considering WHY I feel alienated from the LGBTQ+ community. I have some theories.    This felt like a good week at therapy I think. I THINK. I am slightly anxious because he said I would NEVER describe me as a calm person, and I spend my life in the real world being a VERY calm person. BUT I am trying to hope that ALL he meant is that I bring (and I can FEEL it) a lot of energy, somehow?    But I noticing how uncomfortable I feel to try and add a positive spin to anything someone says. Like, I FEEL more energy, BUT, he could just mean I'm crazy. 

Good morning @Max   I have an unexpected day off. I am very grateful, because my 19yo son got stranded at a train station some miles away last night, when they cancelled the last train, and he is home safe now, but, no-one much got any sleep trying to fix it. We have put a plan in place for future travelling, so we have all learnt something. But I have had about 2 hours sleep. (Had to get up to pack lunch and make sure the 12yo got on her way safely to school.)    I wish for you a day with a LOT less drama, and I hope you are feeling OK, and finding chances to do fun stuff?

That is brutally disappointing about the cake. I am so very sorry.   It's great that you had an opportunity to talk about things that felt good. I thought this was interesting:     I continue to feel like so much of what I'm learning ever more deeply is that SO MANY "norms" are really just a kind of filter that cause us to experience things - especially people - in very narrow, limiting ways. And that includes how we experience ourselves (because, really, we experience the world *through* ourselves, so of course). Clearing away the limits of norms/expectations opens us up to experiencing all that is.     This sounds like fertile ground for learning to love yourself. I'm excited for you.   Toli, I'm getting the impression this was a good week at therapy. I'm so glad. You deserve those. I wish the cake had made it all the way to its destination.

Thank you! I hope I will. Currently pursuing my career after my first diploma, want to explore all beautiful places around, and probably will move in the future to another province with better opportunities.