This is a very personal decision, and only they can decide.  I believe that, the way the laws currently exist in places like Florida, using a bathroom that is designated as female would have serious legal consequences for someone who was designated male at birth.  If they identify as bi-gender, the safe thing to do would be to identify as the male side of the "bi-" for bathroom purposes and use the male facilities.   I will not go to the States for exactly this kind of reason.  The consequences either way (assaulted on the men's side or arrested on the women's side) are too terrible to ever put myself in that position.  If someone identified as strictly female, I would recommend avoiding travel to such places.

Thanks so much for the encouragement y'all! It's so nice to be able to express some of the details of these things and know I'm not alone!   I've thought more about this question, and was going to write up some thoughts on it. But then, while I was typing it out, I had another realization in the middle of it. So I guess I'll just share my processing right here...   I had started writing this:   I think that the idea of not transitioning more socially, medically, or whatever has something to do with the idea of loyalty to my body and my history. I know that lots of us have so much dysmorphia regarding our bodies, but that hasn't been the case for me. I feel grateful for my body and everything that it is and has done for me. So to get rid of it feels disloyal and ungrateful. And it feels like it would be trying to erase or hide the life and history I had when I presented as a male.   But then, I started realizing that I think I'm looking at it all wrong. And here's a better model that I'm just starting to think of.   Side 1: I AM my body and my spirit and mind (or whatever... however all that works out philosophically/religiously/whatever). While I do sometimes feel like I'm piloting my biomech or whatever I might wanna call it, it is actually just me. It's not just a piece of equipment. And if I'm allowed to change my mind and learn and adapt, then I'm allowed to change my body and grow and adapt too. I'm not betraying my body and I'm not betraying someone else and I'm not betraying me. Whatever I end up doing is *becoming* me.   Side 2: If I do think of my body like a piece of equipment, it's not a betrayal if I upgrade it or customize it. It wasn't a betrayal of my computer when I upgraded its RAM or added a hard drive. If I did have an awesome anime mecha and I switched out a rocket arm for a chainsaw arm or whatever, that's not betraying the machine or the battles I won with that equipment. It's just adapting and moving forward. It's customizing it so that we continue our adventures together better than ever.   If, somehow, I could get a surgery done to give me some kind of new organ to give me superpowers, I'd do it 100%. Rewrite my genetics or give me a cybernetic implant or whatever. That's fine by me! And, if I really wanted to be my own therapist here (and I always do!) I'd say, "So what if you had a way to give yourself a superpower of being happier just by changing your clothes? What if you could take a pill that gave you a superpower to feel more connected to yourself? If there was a surgery, or even a series of surgeries, you could have done that would give you the power to let everyone around you see you the way you feel inside?" And so, right now, y'all just saw me realize that I might be more open to hormones and surgeries than I wrote in a different post like 10 minutes ago! 🙃     Okay, well, that's enough public journaling and processing from me for now. I've apparently got a lot to think about... 😅

Hello all, how's it going, hoping everyone is fine.   So my autistic MTF here in NY plans to go on a trip to Jacksonville, FL with his female Com Hab worker and they are both not sure whether he should use the male or female side, can anyone here advise on this please? He's never done a sex change operation only hormone shots, he identifies as 'Bi-gender'.

I feel so much of all of these things!   Once when no one was at the house and I was trying on some women's clothing, I also put on a bra and stuffed it with socks. While I felt like the dumbest person ever in one way, it looked and felt incredible, even though it was obviously fake.   I also, at least for now, would absolutely do the magic button thing and switch straight into a woman's body if that were possible. But I seriously doubt that I'll ever do surgeries and am only slightly more open to hormones. I would say that I'm 100% opposed to those, but I'm now more open to crossdressing than I was 6 months ago, when I 100% wasn't going to do that.   But also, there aren't any "shoulds" when it comes to this kind of stuff. No one is supposed to feel one way or another. We just feel what we feel. While it's often confusing and lots of others will put those "shoulds" on us, they don't belong there. Clothes are just clothes. Accessories are just accessories - even if they're binders or packers or chests or whatever. 

I'm so sorry, that sounds so incredibly stressful! While there could be a fun kind of irony if he actually did quit if you came to work in feminine attire, those kinds of people never seem to actually keep their word. They just try to make your life as miserable as theirs is.   I hope you can find a peaceful way forward. I don't know what UK is like, but I know in the US while that kind of stuff is technically illegal, it would often be difficult to actually get something like that to stick. Hopefully it's better there?

omg this is perfect! I can't believe the guy is going to quit his job over transphobia 😂 I'd be winding this guy right up if it were me. In fact, I don't know what I'd do actually? Sounds like he's struggling with his sexuality poor thing. Maybe try helping him, get him a nice fireman calendar, I heard that's how it starts. 

Hi, Joanie. Welcome to our family.   I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced on your path to becoming who you (really) are. Your story is very similar to many others', so we understand much of what you've been through. Everyone's journey is slightly different, so I'm glad to hear that you're staying open to finding what is actually true and works best for you.   As you're able, please continue to share what you learn and how you feel.

There's a lot I could say about these people's beliefs and behaviors, but I think that's irrelevant compared to the much more important point that this is workplace harassment. As Toli said, you don't have to tolerate this. You may feel like complaining to your supervisor isn't something you want to do, but you do have that right. Nobody should be treated this way, whether they're gay, transgender, or not.

Congratulations, Amey! Please report back and let us know what you experience.

I will talk to a therapist because I’m not sure, maybe both? But here’s a bit of what I’ve written down: I've always had a problem with relationships, maybe it's my autism, maybe not, who knows? But I've always been too "intense" and called crazy or yandere. I'm only 15 years old. I need to discuss with a professional, but here are some things I wrote. "I'm gonna get professional help and find out what's wrong. It'll be hard though since I have autism and I'm a teen and I heard they don't diagnose autistic teens but a person who hates me said that so IDK if I can accept his comments as fact or not, we used to be friends until he started hurting me and being rude. Anyway, IDK what it could be but I do have problems. If you come here to damage my self-esteem, please don't, but you can share your experiences. I already acknowledge I'm a bad person. I do respect her boundaries, but I also feel like I can't form a connection with her. She says we're friends, but people have said she wants nothing to do with me and that she's "just being nice", especially since she's an art account who doesn't want to look bad for her fans or whatever. IDK how true that is, but she never knows what to say when I talk to her, but then again she wants me to make art for her, so that means she doesn't hate me, right? I feel like a disgusting creep like I've been called my whole life by people for being too intense and clingy. I'm insanely obsessive, no joke. And at first, I felt rejected and decided I wouldn't talk to her, but I've calmed down and I'm too attached to cut contact entirely. She said I could message her but not every day and that she'd tell me if she didn't wanna talk. I know it's not her fault, probably not mine, maybe it is, so why do I feel so bad?? Or maybe, why DID I since I'm better now? We're friends regardless, right? She didn't just outright ghost me and call me names." “Prone to obsession Prone to attachment Self-aware, lucid, doesn’t jump to conclusions when not attached to said person. Would be suspected to be “normal” or without any disorder. Intense attachment and fixations on people Non-crystallized sense of self Derealization at times or “shifting” into my favorite character All-or-nothing attachment I can see you as a normal person one day, and the next you’re everything to me. I stay online anxiously waiting for your text, I can flip my lid if rejected and go to thinking “they hate me!!! And they want me to SUFFER!!!” Attachment is source of stress and can cause anger but also happiness. I will find reasons to not like you or think you’re mean even if I like you at the same time. Impulsive and indulgent, won’t pull away from something or someone that makes me happy. Doesn’t self-harm but thinks about it when having intense emotions (used to impulsively hit/punch arms or head but then got on medication and seems to maybe be calmer but symptoms/signs are still there)” (therapy notes)

I am sorry that this is happening for you.    it is not legal to harass you or make it hard for you to do your job for these reasons, so you could see your HR manager / boss / union rep.    Especially if it is a concerted effort by 4 people to make you uncomfortable.   If HE would have to leave because of the clothes you are wearing that is genuinely ridiculous. I mean, I know it is hurtful, but, I promise, it is genuinely ridiculous.   And if he is making actual comments about your clothing in that way, that is not acceptable.    So far ALL of this has come from some nail polish? Which, SO many cis-het men wear!    Honestly, you CAN complain about this. I know you might have feelings about that, but, it doesn't have to continue. 

Yay, Amey!!! It is the start of a new you!!! My anniversary date is July 6th. 

Hi all,   I didnt want to start a whole new topic just for this but still wanted to ask peoples opinions.   So a while ago I mentioned there was a guy at work I was messing with. Well it quite quickly came to light that he was genuinely trans/homo phobic as he automatically assumed that painted nails meant gay and that the next logical step from there was becoming transgender. Once i realised this, i stopped messing with him cause it wasnt worth the hassle.   Anyway ive since found put that 3 people i work with have been "stoking the flames" so to speak and now he fully believes and is fully against the idea that i am actually mid transition and am going to come into work in a dress, and that he would have to leave if I did because it would be so offensive to him.....   On one hand I dont really care what he thinks because although I am questioning my gender and stuff, so what he says hits a little close to home, im not planning on cross dressing at work and have no currebt plans to actually transition.    On the other hand, three colleagues are having a grand time winding up a homophobe at my expense.   Apparently he has a conversation with his brother genuinely raising concerns about my transition (that isnt happening)   He also was heard saying "oh thank god, hes wearing jeans" when seeing me walk in on the camera.   Its quite ironic to be the butt of homephobic jokes when im not gay... but yeah     

Congratulations, Amey!  That is a big day, one I am sure you will remember.

Congrats. Thank you for the reminder that it is a journey we are all on. It will take time, which is hard to remember in a world that loves immediacy. Hugs.

Well I've just collected my patches from the chemist, got home and put one on! Day one of my new life. So excited and happy. ❤️

Tip o' the hat to my Transgender Pulse friends!     It took a long time for estrogen to re-sculpt my body to look this way.  I have also changed mentally, sexually, spiritually.  Still looking forward to more progress.  I am very happy--best thing I've ever done for myself! 😁     If the idea of becoming feminine excites you, go for it!  Always be your True Self--that's precious! ❤️   Love, Graceful 🥰

I am not sure I know what this means?   Do we just mean that it will become safe and normal to be an LGBTQ+ person in society? I HOPE SO.    I am not sure we need more than that?    I really feel like what we should HOPE is that it will be safe and ordinary. Not even remarkable, and then we can focus on all the much bigger parts of identity? 

Dear friend dying, feeling mighty low.