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  • Recent Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      I'm deeply sorry for your loss. ❤️
    • Heather Shay
      A very dear friend passed of cancer yesterday. Still in shock :(    
    • Heather Shay
      Deaf friend died, I'm in shock.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      With Pride Month almost over, did you have any joyful experiences during it?
    • MirandaB
      Let's get this party started!
    • Toli
      Oh wow! you can made pierogis? That's awesome! I wish I could do that!   Growing up with a bunch of siblings is a LOT, especially when you have to be responsible for then.    I love that you can find good things to do / talk about. BUT, *please* do feel free to talk about the bad things.   It's important that ALL of you is valuable, and the bad things are not hidden or secret. 
    • VickySGV
      Find out where your child is going and have her or her friend (or you)  contact the LGBTQ Center in the area there and get their advice.  I am in CA and the latest I have heard is that enforcement of the laws there in Florida is basically non existent but it varies by jurisdiction.  If your daughter has her female companion with her, and the two use the female side of things together it is something that makes it safer for her.  For newer Trans I always recommend the buddy system even if it is safer than Florida.  I was in Florida a few years ago and I had no problems using "Women's" rooms, since the majority of Floridians are actually of the MYOB (Mind Your Own Business) mentality which is truly the safest for all concerned.  
    • Toli
      Yeah. One of the things I love about this conversation, is how we can all, in every direction of gender travel, *understand* this feeling!   (I ALSO love that it's allowed to just be a confused feeling, and it doesn't have to mean anything or drive any kind of imperative)   I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their experiences with adding 'fake' elements to their experience of their body, and how it felt and I actually think it's really positive just to be able to enjoy a feeling and let it just be.    It's also so much more community when we can all come from all directions and share similar experiences (even in different shapes) and feel part of the whole experiment of being, TOGETHER.   Thank you    
    • KathyLauren
      This is a very personal decision, and only they can decide.  I believe that, the way the laws currently exist in places like Florida, using a bathroom that is designated as female would have serious legal consequences for someone who was designated male at birth.  If they identify as bi-gender, the safe thing to do would be to identify as the male side of the "bi-" for bathroom purposes and use the male facilities.   I will not go to the States for exactly this kind of reason.  The consequences either way (assaulted on the men's side or arrested on the women's side) are too terrible to ever put myself in that position.  If someone identified as strictly female, I would recommend avoiding travel to such places.
    • Jossica
      Thanks so much for the encouragement y'all! It's so nice to be able to express some of the details of these things and know I'm not alone!   I've thought more about this question, and was going to write up some thoughts on it. But then, while I was typing it out, I had another realization in the middle of it. So I guess I'll just share my processing right here...   I had started writing this:   I think that the idea of not transitioning more socially, medically, or whatever has something to do with the idea of loyalty to my body and my history. I know that lots of us have so much dysmorphia regarding our bodies, but that hasn't been the case for me. I feel grateful for my body and everything that it is and has done for me. So to get rid of it feels disloyal and ungrateful. And it feels like it would be trying to erase or hide the life and history I had when I presented as a male.   But then, I started realizing that I think I'm looking at it all wrong. And here's a better model that I'm just starting to think of.   Side 1: I AM my body and my spirit and mind (or whatever... however all that works out philosophically/religiously/whatever). While I do sometimes feel like I'm piloting my biomech or whatever I might wanna call it, it is actually just me. It's not just a piece of equipment. And if I'm allowed to change my mind and learn and adapt, then I'm allowed to change my body and grow and adapt too. I'm not betraying my body and I'm not betraying someone else and I'm not betraying me. Whatever I end up doing is *becoming* me.   Side 2: If I do think of my body like a piece of equipment, it's not a betrayal if I upgrade it or customize it. It wasn't a betrayal of my computer when I upgraded its RAM or added a hard drive. If I did have an awesome anime mecha and I switched out a rocket arm for a chainsaw arm or whatever, that's not betraying the machine or the battles I won with that equipment. It's just adapting and moving forward. It's customizing it so that we continue our adventures together better than ever.   If, somehow, I could get a surgery done to give me some kind of new organ to give me superpowers, I'd do it 100%. Rewrite my genetics or give me a cybernetic implant or whatever. That's fine by me! And, if I really wanted to be my own therapist here (and I always do!) I'd say, "So what if you had a way to give yourself a superpower of being happier just by changing your clothes? What if you could take a pill that gave you a superpower to feel more connected to yourself? If there was a surgery, or even a series of surgeries, you could have done that would give you the power to let everyone around you see you the way you feel inside?" And so, right now, y'all just saw me realize that I might be more open to hormones and surgeries than I wrote in a different post like 10 minutes ago! 🙃     Okay, well, that's enough public journaling and processing from me for now. I've apparently got a lot to think about... 😅
    • Concerned father
      Hello all, how's it going, hoping everyone is fine.   So my autistic MTF here in NY plans to go on a trip to Jacksonville, FL with his female Com Hab worker and they are both not sure whether he should use the male or female side, can anyone here advise on this please? He's never done a sex change operation only hormone shots, he identifies as 'Bi-gender'.
    • Jossica
      I feel so much of all of these things!   Once when no one was at the house and I was trying on some women's clothing, I also put on a bra and stuffed it with socks. While I felt like the dumbest person ever in one way, it looked and felt incredible, even though it was obviously fake.   I also, at least for now, would absolutely do the magic button thing and switch straight into a woman's body if that were possible. But I seriously doubt that I'll ever do surgeries and am only slightly more open to hormones. I would say that I'm 100% opposed to those, but I'm now more open to crossdressing than I was 6 months ago, when I 100% wasn't going to do that.   But also, there aren't any "shoulds" when it comes to this kind of stuff. No one is supposed to feel one way or another. We just feel what we feel. While it's often confusing and lots of others will put those "shoulds" on us, they don't belong there. Clothes are just clothes. Accessories are just accessories - even if they're binders or packers or chests or whatever. 
    • Jossica
      I'm so sorry, that sounds so incredibly stressful! While there could be a fun kind of irony if he actually did quit if you came to work in feminine attire, those kinds of people never seem to actually keep their word. They just try to make your life as miserable as theirs is.   I hope you can find a peaceful way forward. I don't know what UK is like, but I know in the US while that kind of stuff is technically illegal, it would often be difficult to actually get something like that to stick. Hopefully it's better there?
    • nugget
      omg this is perfect! I can't believe the guy is going to quit his job over transphobia 😂 I'd be winding this guy right up if it were me. In fact, I don't know what I'd do actually? Sounds like he's struggling with his sexuality poor thing. Maybe try helping him, get him a nice fireman calendar, I heard that's how it starts. 
    • Pema
      Hi, Joanie. Welcome to our family.   I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced on your path to becoming who you (really) are. Your story is very similar to many others', so we understand much of what you've been through. Everyone's journey is slightly different, so I'm glad to hear that you're staying open to finding what is actually true and works best for you.   As you're able, please continue to share what you learn and how you feel.
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