It *really* is.    Properly.    I *never* had any intention of knowing that this is a thing I have *any* kind of feeling about. And now here I am not only having feelings but ALSO knowing a bunch of people who have SIMILAR feelings. It's kind of confusing and comforting all at once. Which I guess means it really does help to share even the things that feel like they should *definitely* stay inside my head!   

I agree, Max. Life is always a mixed bag of "bad" and "good" stuff, and I think it's important to be able to hold it all (whenever possible). When things are going really poorly, I like to look around and remind myself of the ways that there is still good in my life. And even when things are going well, I try not to become complacent and remember that I'm on a "lucky streak," and more difficult times will eventually come.   I hope the paint comes off easily and I hope the pierogis are excellent.

I love all of that, too, Toli. These, really, are the kinds of things I've longed to discuss with people - the parts that are about what we're experiencing INSIDE ourselves, how odd it feels, how sometimes conflicted the feelings are, trying to figure out how to USE those feelings to guide us to knowing what to DO so that we can BE who we actually are instead of what we were taught we were supposed to be.   And it's damned confusing when "accessories" have an unexpected (and pleasant?!?) effect. So having other people say, "Yes! I have a very similar experience (even coming at it from a very different direction)!" tells me that this is getting at something hugely significant about who and what we are, and it goes beyond appearance or acceptance or community.   I don't know... I just feel like this is gold. And yet, there is likely no one who can "tell us what it means." Fortunately, we have each other and this ongoing conversation to help us work through it.

Love this 😂 Honestly its ridiculous isnt it    The UK is pretty good with this stuff so i could make a big fuss of it if i wanted. For now im letting the others have fun at my expense because they aren't being directly horrible to me. They are messing with him using me if that makes sense. Im hoping it will die down but if it gets worse ill have to rethink.

This is my general feeling towards the body. It might sound slightly cliche, but I fully believe i am only my brain. If you were to take my brain out and put it in a fully feminine mecha body i would not change at all I would just have a different vehicle and would still completely be the me I am now. If I discover that my brain is feminine coded then to me at least it would make sense to change the outward characteristics meet with the me (brain)  Real life character customisation 😂    

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. ❤️

A very dear friend passed of cancer yesterday. Still in shock :(    

Deaf friend died, I'm in shock.

With Pride Month almost over, did you have any joyful experiences during it?

Let's get this party started!

Oh wow! you can made pierogis? That's awesome! I wish I could do that!   Growing up with a bunch of siblings is a LOT, especially when you have to be responsible for then.    I love that you can find good things to do / talk about. BUT, *please* do feel free to talk about the bad things.   It's important that ALL of you is valuable, and the bad things are not hidden or secret. 

Find out where your child is going and have her or her friend (or you)  contact the LGBTQ Center in the area there and get their advice.  I am in CA and the latest I have heard is that enforcement of the laws there in Florida is basically non existent but it varies by jurisdiction.  If your daughter has her female companion with her, and the two use the female side of things together it is something that makes it safer for her.  For newer Trans I always recommend the buddy system even if it is safer than Florida.  I was in Florida a few years ago and I had no problems using "Women's" rooms, since the majority of Floridians are actually of the MYOB (Mind Your Own Business) mentality which is truly the safest for all concerned.  

Yeah. One of the things I love about this conversation, is how we can all, in every direction of gender travel, *understand* this feeling!   (I ALSO love that it's allowed to just be a confused feeling, and it doesn't have to mean anything or drive any kind of imperative)   I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their experiences with adding 'fake' elements to their experience of their body, and how it felt and I actually think it's really positive just to be able to enjoy a feeling and let it just be.    It's also so much more community when we can all come from all directions and share similar experiences (even in different shapes) and feel part of the whole experiment of being, TOGETHER.   Thank you    

This is a very personal decision, and only they can decide.  I believe that, the way the laws currently exist in places like Florida, using a bathroom that is designated as female would have serious legal consequences for someone who was designated male at birth.  If they identify as bi-gender, the safe thing to do would be to identify as the male side of the "bi-" for bathroom purposes and use the male facilities.   I will not go to the States for exactly this kind of reason.  The consequences either way (assaulted on the men's side or arrested on the women's side) are too terrible to ever put myself in that position.  If someone identified as strictly female, I would recommend avoiding travel to such places.

Thanks so much for the encouragement y'all! It's so nice to be able to express some of the details of these things and know I'm not alone!   I've thought more about this question, and was going to write up some thoughts on it. But then, while I was typing it out, I had another realization in the middle of it. So I guess I'll just share my processing right here...   I had started writing this:   I think that the idea of not transitioning more socially, medically, or whatever has something to do with the idea of loyalty to my body and my history. I know that lots of us have so much dysmorphia regarding our bodies, but that hasn't been the case for me. I feel grateful for my body and everything that it is and has done for me. So to get rid of it feels disloyal and ungrateful. And it feels like it would be trying to erase or hide the life and history I had when I presented as a male.   But then, I started realizing that I think I'm looking at it all wrong. And here's a better model that I'm just starting to think of.   Side 1: I AM my body and my spirit and mind (or whatever... however all that works out philosophically/religiously/whatever). While I do sometimes feel like I'm piloting my biomech or whatever I might wanna call it, it is actually just me. It's not just a piece of equipment. And if I'm allowed to change my mind and learn and adapt, then I'm allowed to change my body and grow and adapt too. I'm not betraying my body and I'm not betraying someone else and I'm not betraying me. Whatever I end up doing is *becoming* me.   Side 2: If I do think of my body like a piece of equipment, it's not a betrayal if I upgrade it or customize it. It wasn't a betrayal of my computer when I upgraded its RAM or added a hard drive. If I did have an awesome anime mecha and I switched out a rocket arm for a chainsaw arm or whatever, that's not betraying the machine or the battles I won with that equipment. It's just adapting and moving forward. It's customizing it so that we continue our adventures together better than ever.   If, somehow, I could get a surgery done to give me some kind of new organ to give me superpowers, I'd do it 100%. Rewrite my genetics or give me a cybernetic implant or whatever. That's fine by me! And, if I really wanted to be my own therapist here (and I always do!) I'd say, "So what if you had a way to give yourself a superpower of being happier just by changing your clothes? What if you could take a pill that gave you a superpower to feel more connected to yourself? If there was a surgery, or even a series of surgeries, you could have done that would give you the power to let everyone around you see you the way you feel inside?" And so, right now, y'all just saw me realize that I might be more open to hormones and surgeries than I wrote in a different post like 10 minutes ago! 🙃     Okay, well, that's enough public journaling and processing from me for now. I've apparently got a lot to think about... 😅