I managed to follow everything though, so, no worries. 

@MirandaB, the issue has always been that the actual words were used to demean or insult others, or were used in vulgar speech.  So we had to put them in the word filter as a last resort.  It's unfortunate, but necessary.   Carolyn Marie 

You're awesome.  Thank you. 

Dude its the least i could do  

Life is what we make it.

Lol, that would truly be amazing, I would trade for SURE.    Also, thank you. I feel like that's the first time I ever heard all of those words directed at me, and, I did not expect them to feel how they feel! :o)   Thank you. 

if only we could just trade parts what a world that would be   i wish you all the best in your transition i bet you'd become so handsome 

Hey Navi,    it's great to meet you. Welcome.    It's awesome you have people in your real life you can talk to and feel safe with, I think that helps a lot.    Obviously the lovely ladies above have told you all the properly useful stuff, but, I just wanted to say, have FUN with all of it. Notice what things feel *good* and how that fits with how you want yourself to be etc.    I look forward to getting to know you more. 

Hey Jessica,   I love this! Thank you so much for sharing!   I love that you listened to yourself, and I love that you went ahead and tried the things that brought you joy, and you let them be joyful!    All of that is so beautiful.    I am travelling in a different direction, and I have been doing a lot of the same things, trying stuff out, and letting it feel. And I have been enjoying a lot of sparkly joy from so many parts of it. Today, having spent much time knowing that I have really gone as far as I can go without medical help, I have contacted a private gender clinic. It is exciting.    I am looking forward to hearing and seeing where your journey takes you next, thank you so much for sharing this.

Hello everyone i am very new to this forum and id like to share my gender story so far   i spent the first 34 years of my life presenting as a Cis male. Over the past 4 years i've been crossdressing in secret at home when i'm alone or late at night    my egg cracked in 2022 after a series of difficult life events the pandemic the passing of a beloved pet, the Russian Ukrainian war, a bitch of a shift manager at work all these things led me to a dark place mentally    i had always wondered hat it felt like to be a girl but brushed those thought aside until a number of streamers i was following came out as trans    at first i was like good for them and supported them LIKE DECENT PEOPLE SHOULD!!!! as time went on my mental health continued to fall it was at this time the streamers i was following were begining their social and medical transitions as the streamers became happier i was getting more depressed   in the summer of 2022 my younger brother got married i had felt uneasy all day and didn't know why when the bride entered the reception suite something snapped in side me (my egg has a chip in it) whether it was her hair makeup the dress i felt feelings that i thought id long buried what would it be like to be her the rest of the event i was so focused on the female guests what the were wearing their hair what shoes they were wearing    a few weeks later i randomly wondered what i might have looked like if i had been born a girl i downloaded one of those face filter apps and took a selfie (i never take selfies) what i saw after applying the female filter brought me to tears ( egg well and truly cracked now) there was the image of a young woman and although not real i felt like i had robbed her of a life by being born male   it was September of 2022 when i decided to buy a skirt i don't know why i did but you know these things happen right? when i tried it on i didn't feel weird or embarrassed (egg shattered here) i didn't throw the skirt away like i thought i would but instead started to look for more clothes to go with it eventually i bought breastforms and all the other things bras. tights, tops,shoes its built up to quite the collection (which no one in my house has found yet which is weird)   for the next four years i dressed as often as i could and when i could sneak a look in the mirror i can see the potential woman in me its gotten to a point where i felt i had to talk about my gender and i found you guys and gals    right now my mental health is still low but i am starting to seek professional help and the future looks a little bit more hopeful    thank you for letting me ramble if any of this seems familiar id like to hear about it  Jessica

Hi Navi! Welcome. As Kathy said, you'll find lots of information and ideas here in the forums. And we're here to answer questions as best we can. We are not therapists, psychologists or analysts. Just people who have gone through the questioning, some of us finding ourselves and others still searching.   Take your time exploring your identity. Although it sometimes seems critical to decide right now, it really isn't.    Is it possible for you to work with a gender qualified therapist? That can be a wonderful way to find the answers to your questions, although it will ultimately be you that answers them. A therapist can help guide you to the right questions and set a path ahead once you've determined where you want to go.   Short of that, you might get a copy of Dara Hoffman-Fox's book: You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery. It's available on Amazon for about $15.

Hi, Navi.  Welcome to TGP!   I can't tell you what you are, but I can tell you that you came to the right place to explore the question.  Feel free to browse the various forums, to join in any discussions, or to start new threads.  Ask lots of questions and share your thoughts.   Good luck in your explorations!

Oh, also, THANK YOU @Jamma I feel like I *needed* a person to share my excitement!

Yeah, it's a private clinic, and they have timelines and lists of necessary steps. They claim to take 48hrs to respond to emails although I am already impatient LOL!    it's funny, because, we didn't really talk about ANY gender things yesterday, but, I think, things all settle differently after any big session? Especially, we basically have 2 hr sessions, so, it can be quite exhausting. 

Woooo ! Well done  Thats an awesome step ! Sounds like even though youve had an overwhelming therapy session you've made some really important progress 😁

I was anxious about sending the e mail, but now that I have, I feel super excited about the possible outcomes.    I feel like this is a useful and important feeling to notice, and to realise that this *is* a thing that matters to me! 

Let me start by saying I have no clue what I am anymore. I’m a 17M and have rarely, if ever, questioned my gender until recently when I started dating one of my closest friends who I’ll name Owen. I’ve always been one of those students who does way too much. I’m talking about taking college classes early, self-studying, the Science and Math Olympiads, lacrosse, music programs, helping found clubs with friends, and volunteer work. I know, a little excessive. Owen confessed to me around Christmas of 2025 and the first thing I thought as a straight guy was “Wait a minute, I can date him?” I ended up accepting and he was thousands of times better than the girls I had crushed on and dated in the past. To say the least, he wasn’t manipulative, he wasn’t insane, and he was the sweetest soul in the world. Me questioning my gender is rooted in a ton of things, especially growing up. As a kid, I was always playfully compared to girls for my relatively high pitched voice and my way-too-perfect handwriting. I also was a little socially anxious and preferred drawing over sports like the other kids. This made me feel out of place and led to a sort of self-isolation for a few years, which I luckily broke out of in high school. During the pandemic, I had also connected with a ton of people online and made a small friend group with people from the rest of the US, Brazil, and Australia. This included my future boyfriend too! When we finally hopped in a voice call, they almost immediately thought I was a girl just by how I spoke. All of this, looking back, was definitely the beginning of it all. On top of all of this chaos, I had a few role models to look at. My friend Sophie from middle school and high school was (what I remember to be) genderfluid and she was a little chaotic but also very nice. A character from my favorite book Scythe by Neal Shusterman named Jericho was another, with their gender changing based on the weather. I used to think this was the coolest thing ever. I also knew a bunch of LGBTQ+ artists who drew amazing art and composed amazing music, especially breakcore. I’m currently still male and haven’t even touched my gender yet, but I’m really considering it. I’ve tried sounding and acting more fem and I really enjoy it, but I don’t know if I could ever fully transition. If I do end up transitioning though, me and my boyfriend brainstormed some names:   Navi (Short for kounavi, Greek for ferret) Meli (Greek for honey) Alya (Arabic for sky) Selene (Greek for moon)   If you’re wondering why my display name is Navi, I didn’t want to use my real name. Maybe I’m nonbinary or genderfluid or some other gender that I have no clue about because I’m not invested in the LGBTQ+ community. I haven’t tried crossdressing and will not even touch medication until I’m older. Luckily, I know that most people I know will support me no matter what from me coming out as bi much earlier. But yeah, that’s all I wanted to talk about. I still have no clue what my gender is and it’s really confusing.

Thank you Heather    i have been feeling quite alone since my egg cracked. To my knowlege there has never been a member of the LGBT in my family and all of the people in my life are very Cis gendered and not very progressive in their views

thank you Stephanie i dont want to narrow it down too much right now but i live near Reading