I also kept a full beard for many years as it kept me from looking in the mirror and wondering “what if”. When I finally shaved it off it scared the crap out of me for a couple of days. But now, I can look in the mirror and see the possibilities. But I really do hate shaving. My facial hair is not thick, but it is tough as iron.

@Jessica Louise I have been thinking, and realised I didn't check in with you about the mental health thing. I hope it *is* looking up, and that you can find a good person to work with, and that being here will help too! You deserve good, happy, sparkly joy things! 

@KymmieL Oh my goodness, that all sounds like a LOT. I hope you can share it with your therapist later, and that the session goes well. Do let us know?    *hug* and thinking of you. 

Well the wife is at it again. Last night after I came home from work. She came in. She is bent out of shape since I went from full time to part time on the new job. Saying that my working full time gave her a security blanket. That my moving to part time killed that.   During the argument, she come back with When I was in school she work at Ramada Inn here in town. I called B.S on that. She was positive she did. I said, If you worked why didn't I ever see a W2 from it.  Saying our son got her the job. I distinctly remember when our oldest worked there. I went up and show him our new Mercury Milan. It was an 07. I went to school in 2006.   I even told her that at work that night, I was thinking what do I have to live for. She took it as divorce.    Well luckily I have my therapist appointment later.   Hugs, Kymmie

(although, to be fair, I could share with multiple people, and, I feel like the bits I have are in shorter supply...) 

I mean, yes please, but I also kind of worry no one would want to swap with me! 

yep and no need to commit too pop some boobs on take them for a test drive and if they don't suit you swap for some others something like the cyberpunk 2077 game would be so cool

Oh man! That would be awesome! A body swap meet where we could switch would be so much fun!

I managed to follow everything though, so, no worries. 

@MirandaB, the issue has always been that the actual words were used to demean or insult others, or were used in vulgar speech.  So we had to put them in the word filter as a last resort.  It's unfortunate, but necessary.   Carolyn Marie 

You're awesome.  Thank you. 

Dude its the least i could do  

Life is what we make it.

Lol, that would truly be amazing, I would trade for SURE.    Also, thank you. I feel like that's the first time I ever heard all of those words directed at me, and, I did not expect them to feel how they feel! :o)   Thank you. 

if only we could just trade parts what a world that would be   i wish you all the best in your transition i bet you'd become so handsome 

Hey Navi,    it's great to meet you. Welcome.    It's awesome you have people in your real life you can talk to and feel safe with, I think that helps a lot.    Obviously the lovely ladies above have told you all the properly useful stuff, but, I just wanted to say, have FUN with all of it. Notice what things feel *good* and how that fits with how you want yourself to be etc.    I look forward to getting to know you more. 

Hey Jessica,   I love this! Thank you so much for sharing!   I love that you listened to yourself, and I love that you went ahead and tried the things that brought you joy, and you let them be joyful!    All of that is so beautiful.    I am travelling in a different direction, and I have been doing a lot of the same things, trying stuff out, and letting it feel. And I have been enjoying a lot of sparkly joy from so many parts of it. Today, having spent much time knowing that I have really gone as far as I can go without medical help, I have contacted a private gender clinic. It is exciting.    I am looking forward to hearing and seeing where your journey takes you next, thank you so much for sharing this.

Hello everyone i am very new to this forum and id like to share my gender story so far   i spent the first 34 years of my life presenting as a Cis male. Over the past 4 years i've been crossdressing in secret at home when i'm alone or late at night    my egg cracked in 2022 after a series of difficult life events the pandemic the passing of a beloved pet, the Russian Ukrainian war, a bitch of a shift manager at work all these things led me to a dark place mentally    i had always wondered hat it felt like to be a girl but brushed those thought aside until a number of streamers i was following came out as trans    at first i was like good for them and supported them LIKE DECENT PEOPLE SHOULD!!!! as time went on my mental health continued to fall it was at this time the streamers i was following were begining their social and medical transitions as the streamers became happier i was getting more depressed   in the summer of 2022 my younger brother got married i had felt uneasy all day and didn't know why when the bride entered the reception suite something snapped in side me (my egg has a chip in it) whether it was her hair makeup the dress i felt feelings that i thought id long buried what would it be like to be her the rest of the event i was so focused on the female guests what the were wearing their hair what shoes they were wearing    a few weeks later i randomly wondered what i might have looked like if i had been born a girl i downloaded one of those face filter apps and took a selfie (i never take selfies) what i saw after applying the female filter brought me to tears ( egg well and truly cracked now) there was the image of a young woman and although not real i felt like i had robbed her of a life by being born male   it was September of 2022 when i decided to buy a skirt i don't know why i did but you know these things happen right? when i tried it on i didn't feel weird or embarrassed (egg shattered here) i didn't throw the skirt away like i thought i would but instead started to look for more clothes to go with it eventually i bought breastforms and all the other things bras. tights, tops,shoes its built up to quite the collection (which no one in my house has found yet which is weird)   for the next four years i dressed as often as i could and when i could sneak a look in the mirror i can see the potential woman in me its gotten to a point where i felt i had to talk about my gender and i found you guys and gals    right now my mental health is still low but i am starting to seek professional help and the future looks a little bit more hopeful    thank you for letting me ramble if any of this seems familiar id like to hear about it  Jessica

Hi Navi! Welcome. As Kathy said, you'll find lots of information and ideas here in the forums. And we're here to answer questions as best we can. We are not therapists, psychologists or analysts. Just people who have gone through the questioning, some of us finding ourselves and others still searching.   Take your time exploring your identity. Although it sometimes seems critical to decide right now, it really isn't.    Is it possible for you to work with a gender qualified therapist? That can be a wonderful way to find the answers to your questions, although it will ultimately be you that answers them. A therapist can help guide you to the right questions and set a path ahead once you've determined where you want to go.   Short of that, you might get a copy of Dara Hoffman-Fox's book: You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery. It's available on Amazon for about $15.

Hi, Navi.  Welcome to TGP!   I can't tell you what you are, but I can tell you that you came to the right place to explore the question.  Feel free to browse the various forums, to join in any discussions, or to start new threads.  Ask lots of questions and share your thoughts.   Good luck in your explorations!