Salmon en croute, we had it with a kind of white wine spinach sauce inside.    Stout and orange cake is a speciality of the good local bakery. They use the local microbrewery's local stout. it's very delicious!   Yesterday's pasanda was a success (although, from scratch means I might not have scooped out ALL the whole peppercorns / cloves / cardamom pods before serving. I'll try, but I am quite blind, so...)    Oh, I need a person who is good at cleaning the kitchen, please do feel free!    I think I told you about the pineapple and chilli jam I made this morning?    Apparently, on HRT, you can get increased appetite, which CAN lead to weight gain, and, with all the increased cholesterol and too many red blood cells stuff... Eating more appears to be very much OFF the menu, as it were! 

In fact, you are right, the research does indeed say, the other way around. 

Statistically, this is so, but my own impression is that the causal link, if there is one, is the other way around.  I feel like my being trans is the cause of my neurodivergence.  I have no evidence, but that is how it feels to me.

I had to look up salmon en croute, and it seems incredible. Is stout and orange cake made with stout (beer) and orange? That also sounds amazing. I would like to eat at your house at least once a week if possible. I'm very good at cleaning the kitchen.   You know, if you pursue HRT, you might actually end up being able to eat more of those things or at least build muscle instead of fat.  

How do you feel like that holds you back? And why?     I agree with all of this. AND I would argue that being transgender is a form of neurodivergence. I have no doubt there are people, probably many, who will disagree with me. Neither is "wrong" or "deficient." I am and always have been a huge fan of diversity, and I see these as examples of it.   @namitsukikunn, you can be whomever you are and be wonderful and amazing and successful in your life. You don't have to conform to standards or norms; you only have to find a place where you can carve out a fulfilling life as yourself.

And, in fact, that link is the other way round from what I originally said, but, you can see what I mean. 

Cambridge university found that   transgender and gender-diverse individuals are three to six times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than cisgender people.   Now, all research needs questioning and understanding, but, we can say there is definitely a link.    Having been recently diagnosed with autism is a lot to take in anyway, so, don't forget to be kind to yourself. and ALSO to remember that you are *allowed* to be the person that you are. Being trans is NOT a bad thing to be. Being autistic, is just a, in this household (which contains neurodiverse people) we say it's a perfectly reasonable, different way of being wired. We have to learn to understand each other differently, but, all the versions are perfectly good and valuable and allowed. None is better or more normal than the other. 

Huh... Really?? I didn't know that... apart from that, I have been recently diagnose with autism... so this is very new to me :(

Oh.  did you know, being neurodivergent increases your chances of being trans? There is some correlation between the two, and, while it *can* SOMETIMES make it harder to access care, because more hoops to jump through, it doesn't stop you knowing who you are.  You do not have to want to transition.  But, that will not be *because* you are neurodivergent. 

Forgot to mention that: I feel like my conflict stems from various internal biases, like, “I'm sure my neurodivergence will prevent me from wanting to transitioning.” I've always wanted to transition to being a man, but I'm held back by many obstacles related to “how I am mentally.”

I guess my question is: What does that mean to you - to come to terms with your trans identity? I take it from your questions that you feel you are not able to do that. What are you experiencing that you feel needs to be different somehow?   I will tell you that I personally don't feel like I have a "trans identity." By most people's standards, I clearly AM transgender - undergoing HRT, changing my name and pronouns, being fully transparent with people in my life about that - but, like @Tolisays, I'm just "me," same as I ever was, just doing some new things to feel (much) better within myself. I haven't made this into some huge thing about who or what I am.   I also brush my teeth twice a day, but I don't turn that into a "dental identity." I just don't feel like it has to be as big a deal as many people make it out to be. The people who do want to do that are absolutely welcome to. I just don't experience it that way.

Hey! I forget how LONG summer vacation is over there! Here we get 6 weeks, so, everyone can go back in September.    Driving is SUCH a useful skill, *especially* over there, BUT, attention span and dissociation seem like they would make it *dangerous*? Is there like a kind of driving trial thing? So you can do a load of practise off road, with dual controls, so you can test it out A LOT and see whether you can get control over those things?    Also, dissociation seems like a health care need? I know health care is trickier over there, but...   I don't drive. I don't see well enough, and clearly, that would make me far too dangerous. Luckily, it is possible for me to organise myself with public transport, and the occasional usefulness of my son, when he is actually here. 

My first big step was to just accept myself. That while my gender may not be what I might like it to be today, I’m ok with myself while I figure it out.  It will take time for you to discover what your “trans identity” is. As you work it out internally, it will start to naturally express itself externally. 

Why thank you.  My current job, while my eldest collects my youngest from Scouts at the beach, is cooking dinner.  We are having salmon en croute, with coleslaw and potato salad, so, it's not super taxing.  And there is a piece of stout and orange cake that the eldest and I are going to share later (although the form I can't complete includes height weight BMI and blood pressure. I am guessing less cake is going to be a feature of my future...)

OK What exactly is it that is tripping you up?  I don't want to put words in your mouth, or invent problems you don't have, so, I am just going to tell you what *I* do, since I am travelling in kind of the same direction.  Although, from what I remember, you were very sure you *are* a man? Which is fine, and good, and all fab, but, what's wrong with that? (to you?) I *don't* identify as a man. I am AFAB. I am definitely 'not a girl' and definitely further towards masculine than I feel is covered in entirely 'non-binary'  SOME days, I don't even think about my 'trans idenity' - I'm just me, and I just go about my life just being me, and yay.  SOME days, like today, being a trans person is something I spend ALL day consciously being, (today I have filled in a lot of forms for gender affirming care)  The thing is, I am THE SAME PERSON.  It doesn't really matter what I CALL it. I'm still just me? 

You have done well today so relax and maybe get yourself a little treat

How can I come to terms with my trans identity? What words or actions can help me do that? That's all.

OK, I have completed ALL the forms but ONE And I CAN'T complete that one, because I need to know things about myself.  I can find those things out, but not today.  So, I really HAVE to stop now!  (I am not as good at procrastinating as I thought!)

schools been out for me since may 22, but otherwise its been good so far. im unusually anxious for some reason, even tho theres nothing to be anxious about.   my mom is thinking on getting me signed up for driving school soon due to my grandpa's recklessness behind the wheel. my only problem is my attention span and disassociation, because i don't wanna get distracted, space out, and crash while driving. which is why my mom is skeptical of whether or not she should sign me up.

Yes, I think so too. I am a bit sad not to have a date to aim at, but, that WILL come, and is about my excitement more than anything else,  and even that does NOT (and should not) mean anything changes, I actually am looking forward to the conversation it entails to be as clear as possible about what I WANT and how it can go.... BEFORE anything else.    The forms are A LOT, but, of course, they SHOULD BE. so...