I *hope* it will end up being useful.  I just don't like *this* feeling. 

I'm sorry it didn't go well, Toli. I still think even "bad" days in therapy can end up being beneficial, eventually, somehow. I hope this one will.

LOL! 

I always encourage creative outlets. Way to look after yourself, @Jamma.

If you say so but im keeping my eyes on you ha ha

It is ALL chocolate cake.  I don't like chocolate. Plus, working out makes my body really not want sugar and so on. (honestly, it really works)

we're here for you Toli and please eat the cake responsebly 

I write a lot. He even explained that, for me, the writing is where the work of therapy gets done, because Ireally am very bad at being able to speak out loud. Which helps me feel a bit better for sending him a lot of writing.    Therapy is like that. Sometimes it's connective and works, and sometimes you just feel like you are missing each other. I am booked for next week, so, fingers crossed can have a better week.    I have a whole day of tattooing tomorrow, so...

Oh no Toli im so sorry   would it help if you wrote down your thoughts before hand like a script?

yay for the cute skirt!  And also for gifts for friends. I like to do that too. 

Not a great therapy day today.  largely my fault. I suck at talking about myself, which is a tiny problem in therapy.  SO I feel a bit flat and annoyed with myself.  My son has had a wonderful day at Wimbledon.  I bought a birthday cake, but not THE birthday cake. 

Glad to see you hanging in there Jamma.     

New new  as the above was meant to be posted Sunday*   Ive thrown myself into some art and making some gifts for a few friends so im feeling a lot better today. Ive got therapy tomorrow so will talk about everything then but being creative and making things for friends has a way of soothing the soul haha   Onwards and upwards. I bought a majorly cute skirt so ill give that a go to ease back in haha

(Not sure if this posted, I went to type a new message and this was still here so sorry if this is a double up)     I saw some friends today so got a chance to chill and relax.    I thought about cross dressing a bit today but immediately put myself off. It sucks cause these people dont know what im going through internally and even the nastiness of it aside ive always had major issues around self image and as you can probably imagine this hasn't helped, especially as it specifically around fem clothes and the way I look. Its like even though this isnt like a big, loud, aggressive thing thats happening it still set me back a lot and that feeling of taking 2 steps forwards over months of effort to get knocked 3 steps back this easily sucks...   Generally im okay and I hate confrontation to a level were I sometimes let people walk over me just to avoid it (this is a problem I know)   Its suprised me how much this specific opinion of myself has affected me so much because of the context of the way it has been bought up if that makes sense ? Like normally other peoples negative opinions of me dont really bother me but because I guess it hit a little closer to my own insecurities ??   The worst part about it is they didnt even do it maliciously or as like a way to be horrible to me. They did it as a joke because in generally easy going and its been the running joke messing with the other guy so is fresh on their mind. Im finding it hard to justify the way its affected me when they didnt do it to be mean but as a joke and they cant "know" how a joke will be taken...   So even though its set me back and its been a bit crap, I feel like im unjustified because of the intentions and because im normally "in on the banter" if that makes sense and cant chose when I am and am not affected ??   Anyway sorry thats a little ranty but thank you for the message. I appreciate being considered 😄

Hi @MattMatters Welcome! So good to meet you!  Jump in, you must have loads of experience and stuff to share! 

Good to see you back, @Mmindy. Great news about your business. Hopefully everything goes smoothly.    Had the younger two grandsons over on the weekend. Had a good time. Almost had a fingernail painting party with my youngest grandson. But time got away from us. When he dropped them off. Our middle son told me that our youngest grandson brought some nail polish.    My moods have been like a yo-yo. up on second down the next. My insomnia hasn't been as bad lately. but never know I may flair up again.    Hugs, All   Kymmie

Hi, Matt! Welcome! Please join in conversations anywhere you feel comfortable.

Welcome Larry!    Its good to hear you know who you are so quickly. It sucks when its not safe to be your authentic self yet but thats whats cool about places like this! You can freely be you! Is youe profile pic from the same universe as danganronpa? If not please correct me im curious about it :D

Its nice to meet you Yvonne,    Thank you for sharing parts of your life with us. My condolenses for Anneli. Its beautiful how life brought the two of you back together one last time. Im a young one and it always warms my heart to see older trans folk living authentically.

Welcome, Matt!  It is good to have you here.   Feel free to browse the site, read and join in on conversations, or start your own.  You'll find lots of people with similar experiences.