I mean, if you have been actually diagnosed with Bipolar and are supposed to be (according to an actual specialist doctor) taking appropriate meds, then, I don't want to get in the way of that, DON'T STOP any medical treatment based on the say so of some unqualified person on the internet. If it's your mom, and it's stuff like this, I mean, you could keep a journal. A LOT of bipolar people are asked to keep a mood journal. SO, each day you would start by ranking your mood from 0-10, where 0 = too depressed to get out of bed, and 10 = so manic I probably don't remember and then write about what happened that day, and what things made you feel something, and how that went. Obviously, on days when you are picking 0 or 10, further writing is going to be challenging, but, hopefully, what you will, over time get, is a picture of how your own specific to you mood changes, and also you will, over time, be able to see how they track up and down, and WHY.  This means, that. A) You can SEE FOR YOUR SELF how high and low you get (on the understanding that none of these states are so transient that you cannot track them) B) you can build up a picture of what comes first, what kinds of things happen just before a big mood change etc. And, in this way, you can get a lot more control over that, and look out for potential triggers you learn about.  AND none of that can be influenced (too much) by me, or your mom, or ANYONE, so you can feel a bit safer that this is *really* what happens for you. AND you can use it in therapy / with your doctor to help direct any work around bipolar issues, AND to discuss meds etc. 

I had spoken with some of the people from Lambda Legal the first week in June, and what happened with SCOTUS two weeks ago was not really going to be a surprise to them at that point.  The status at the minute is that SCOTUS only decided to let the state decisions stand and did not establish any Federal law, disappointing, but no binding law against Trans people or activities in supportive states and as Jennings says in the article there is room for this to be turned around in several ways in the future, including simply electing some new folks into the legislative branches. 

https://www.advocate.com/opinion/kevin-jennings-trans-rights-ruling     Carolyn Marie

My love was a child of winter solstice Her numbers add up to 666 She comforts me with sorrow And caresses me with pain She’s a cruel, cruel mistress Crying is in vain   My love left me the 15th of August She rose away like the Virgin Mary did Still she shelters me in shadows And washes all my sins with rain She brings a tender kind of light That can numb the pain  

i dont even know at this point... shes always told me whenever im not happy that its just my bipolar talking. ive been pumped with so many unnecessary meds that its almost insane.

@Jayne YvonneWelcome to the forums. You will be surprised by the number of introductions that are made by folks transitioning late in life. It's as if we're copying off of each other. "In the 1960's 70's we didn't have a clue that we weren't alone in our feelings." I knew there was something different about me, and thought my body went through the wrong puberty. I masked it by doing everything hyper masculine and became an adrenaline junky taking on high risk activities as hobbies. Then as I approached my mid-sixties, I decided to follow my true inner self.   I hope you find these forums as useful and beneficial as I have.    Hugs 🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💖   

I'm so happy for you @April Marie!! There are warnings about starting P before reaching Tanner stage 3, as it matures cells and stops further development. It is a hit and miss drug anyway, so no guaranteed benefit.    Keep living your best life!   Hugs,   Allie

I write LOADS before hand, but, IN therapy, I struggle to SPEAK.  For me, saying things out loud is entirely bewilderingly alien. 

Honestly this is the weirdest thing. I quote often go into therapy thinking "ive got nothing to talk about" and still manage to full the session in no time 😂

I *hope* it will end up being useful.  I just don't like *this* feeling. 

I'm sorry it didn't go well, Toli. I still think even "bad" days in therapy can end up being beneficial, eventually, somehow. I hope this one will.

LOL! 

I always encourage creative outlets. Way to look after yourself, @Jamma.

If you say so but im keeping my eyes on you ha ha

It is ALL chocolate cake.  I don't like chocolate. Plus, working out makes my body really not want sugar and so on. (honestly, it really works)

we're here for you Toli and please eat the cake responsebly 

I write a lot. He even explained that, for me, the writing is where the work of therapy gets done, because Ireally am very bad at being able to speak out loud. Which helps me feel a bit better for sending him a lot of writing.    Therapy is like that. Sometimes it's connective and works, and sometimes you just feel like you are missing each other. I am booked for next week, so, fingers crossed can have a better week.    I have a whole day of tattooing tomorrow, so...

Oh no Toli im so sorry   would it help if you wrote down your thoughts before hand like a script?

yay for the cute skirt!  And also for gifts for friends. I like to do that too. 

Not a great therapy day today.  largely my fault. I suck at talking about myself, which is a tiny problem in therapy.  SO I feel a bit flat and annoyed with myself.  My son has had a wonderful day at Wimbledon.  I bought a birthday cake, but not THE birthday cake.