Awww. Thank you.    I also might have not only been to the most traumatic exhibition ever today, but also consumed cocktails, so...

I feel this  I never had a good relationship with the majority of my family and ao the friends I chose became my family. For what its worth, I consider you a friend toli and will always be available to have an adult chat if you need one (again only if its online it counts haha) Even if I have crippling depression half the time 😂

Went through my grandmother's house and removed what I wanted, luckily there was no fights over everything. Visted her in Hospice too, she is ready to go.

Hey lovely.  Funerals are tricky. it brings a lot of stuff to the surface. And, it can be a lot to process.    It's also easy to slide into the morbid side of it.    I know that, if I had not built my own people, literally no one would come to my funeral, I COULD be sad about this, but, I was disowned by my entire family over a funeral, so, I mean, the kids dad never had one, and, I don't care if I don't have one either. Funerals are really only for the people left behind, I will never know. I paid for one, so the kids can do whatever they want, but, really, it's fine either way.    And life really CAN suck. And don't mind me, I went to a wildly distressing life changingly I feel my trauma has all been seen exhibition today, so/....   I DEFINITELY want more real life people in my life. I don't know how to find them. So, I just enjoy my online people!    having been disowned, and considering the kids dad is gone, it is possible for me to spend a LOT of time NEVER speaking out loud to an adult. Certainly not IN PERSON. I find it quite distressingly isolated. 

Hey Melody,   More *hugs*   it's really a LOT. I am struggling with SOME of this. And I struggle to discuss my gender things with my therapist - but I struggle to discuss anything, because our loud things are hard for me generally. MY biggest issue is the kids.    But I ALSO know that I REALLY want (need?) to do some transitioning. And I DO have a gender clinic appointment, and I AM excited, but I am ALSO still anxious! 

Funeral went well. He had a lovely turn out and it was a beautiful send off.  He was a great guy and I will miss him.   I preface this next part with I really AM okay and this next section will touch on certain topics that may not be for everyone so safety first and trigger warning for talk around death and after reading my true unfiltered thoughts below this is on the depressing side so I reader discretion is advised haha (honestly feel free to ignore this and treat it as me venting)   . . . . .   Okay here we go   This is going to sound really morbid and im sure its been bought on by the funeral and feelings towards losing a friend but sometimes life really sucks. It take away good people and it isnt fair. I had horrible feelings come up of "why is it that living can be so difficult and horrible" but also "i dont want to die" its like all these struggles and trials and "do normal people have to deal with bs" kinda stuff makes me think this one chance at life we all get isnt always fair. We are only here for a short time, why do things have to be so confusing, difficult and complicated you know.    After losing a friend, it makes me realise how important certain things are and the limited time we have and im feeling VERY overwhelmed.    I know this is really really toxic to myseld but i couldn't help but think to myself if it had been me that had died, how many of these people would have bothered coming to my funeral.    Ive always been quite solitary and my family "closeness" has never really existed so i feel very alone.    Having these forums and friendly people to openly chat with and be friends (even if only in the online sense haha) is nice but I have this awful oxymoron of wanting connection but hating and being terrible at socialising.   Im okay, and today has been a day. But sometimes you just consider life and how much it can suck and its hard to remember the happy. Another one for the therapist I suppose haha.   On a slightly happier note so that it is not all doom and gloom. Im painting my nails again tonight and i got some nice new rings that i love and suit my style 😁

Yeah, the septum one just annoyed me, so, I took it out.  I currently have nostril, eyebrow, lip, tragus, daith, both lobes, flat, helix, forward helix, industrial.    University WAS awesome, I was very lucky to be able to access the time abroad. 

@Melody Goldfinch My therapist was the first person I came out to and I was scared to bring it up. But I really liked and trusted her and figured I’d never have a better chance. Once I started, I was amazed how easily it flowed out. And to my surprise, she was suspecting this and excited that I opened up. Since it sounds like you have a similar relationship with your therapist, I’ll bet they have a good understanding of you and won’t be taken aback by what you tell them. The great thing about coming out first to your therapist is that it doesn’t have to go any farther than that. If you talk it out with them and you don’t feel like pushing it further, you can put it to rest and move on. If it feels right, they can help you move forward. Anyway, I join with Jessica in offering hugs and support.  

Nothing worth doing is ever easy we have to keep pushing in a world of hate and fear    i want/need to see you live your life to the fullest and on your terms    and when your time comes to leave this world you will have a smile on your face and think that yes this was a good life and i hope you would want the same for me   im supporting you 100% 

Oh, thanks Jessica!   Honestly, not living as one's true self is probably not excusable in the long run. I know people have many different views on this but for me, this is the one life I get and it's a rare and wonderful thing. Not following my heart on this seems like a waste in a way. I'm not trying to be negative with that statement, more trying to empower myself. Almost like I owe this to myself. It's my responsibility! Nobody has an easy life. We all have tough choices to make but that's what keeps it all interesting, right? I need to to this! I need to talk to my therapist! I'm going to do it! I'm just so scared! AHHH!

Well, its a bit rough to be LGBTQ+ and be known for voting anything but Democrat.  Its like there's just an assumption from both the right wingers and the LGBTQ+ community that you have to be a Democrat voter.  LGBTQ+ spaces become a Democrat echo chamber, and in conservative spaces you get attacked for being a Democrat even when you aren't one.     One thing I'm seeing in my area is that youger folks are not interested in the Democrat party.  If they're right wing, they're unafraid.  If they're left wing, they're more interested in other options.  My trans girlfriend is on the young end of Gen Z, and 100% a Trump fan.  Most of her cohort seem to drink from the same Kool Aid pitcher.  I'm a millennial and rather jaded about most of it.  I consider myself to be a classical liberal, I often vote Libertarian, and I'm a registered independent.   I really hope for more political diversity, especially among LGBTQ+ folks.  The more we get away from a corrupt 2-party system, the better.

As a former pilot, I totally agree!    Though I do appreciate those who do whatever it takes to fight wildfires.  The province leased a fleet of water-bombers this year, to avoid having to borrow them from neighbouring provinces again.  While they came quickly last year, that might not always be the case if those provinces have their own fires to deal with.

Oh, so sad that so many cherries are just left for the birds!  If we were anywhere close, my army of minions could clean up for you 😉   We've had cherries here too, and peaches and nectarines are coming on.  Apples and pears in September, and berries all through the season.  I've made some really good blackberry jam this year!   El Niño seems to be giving a lot of rain, which is a relief after 3 years of drought.  We had our own fire worries at times, in some rugged rural areas.  There has been talk of having the Defense Force start training some of the firefighters to use parachutes, like smokejumpers out west.  Thankfully so far, what equipment can't reach has been reachable on horseback.  Every time my husband and new girlfriend go out for a practice jump, I cringe.  Can't imagine jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, especially jumping out into a fire.  🙄

Oh Melody come here let me give you a hug   i am in exactly the same position myself except that my therapist jumped straight in with my gender issues and we've discussed it a lot   i too really want to start transitioning but i fear the rejection of others. i don't have children myself but my family is very tightly knit and the fear of being the elephant in the room at gatherings is really hard to get past so too is the fear of discrimination from my co workers who are very regressive when it comes to transgender topics   when i close my eyes and think about myself in five ... ten ... twenty years time i can only see a woman, a happy woman full of smiles and living her best life and the man everyone else sees is well never there   i am not going to lie the transition process itself is a huge under taking and one that you and i would have to commit to for the rest of our lives and its a struggle to not feel daunted or overwhelmed by the whole thing but i would like to think that living a life as your true self would be better than the idea that you would give up and never know true happiness   i am not sure if it helps at all but your not alone in this talk to your therapist and get your feelings out there maybe together you can work out the best course of action for you

That's great news! I love hearing positives like this and knowing that there are supportive and kind people out there. I'm glad you are seeing such good results!

Hey Everyone!   I'm just looking for a little reassurance (as the title says). I'm pretty sure I'd like to start transitioning. I've been wanting to for years but fear has kept me back. I'm worried about losing some people, about violence, mistreatment, rejection, my kids. What if it's just not right for me? I've lived into my 40s without transitioning and I've had a million excuses or reasons I've given myself but it all boils down to fear. It's not an easy step to take for a lot of people, I know that. I don't think I'd "pass" really and that's kind of my biggest concern overall. I feel like that fact will lead to manifesting the other fears. I have an appointment with my therapist (who is great!) coming up and I've been freaking out about bringing this up with her. I haven't addressed my gender identity with her at all yet so bringing that out of left field and then asking about transition might be a lot to do at once but I keep creeping along the finite thread of my life pushing it down but wishing I wouldn't. I don't want to get to the end without properly addressing this and finding out what is really right for me. But the second my toes reach that line I retreat. I just haven't been able to bring myself to cross it yet. I think part of that fear comes from knowing that once I do cross that line, things are going to change. That my therapist is probably going to say "Melody, if this is how you feel about everything, transitioning is probably the right choice for you." Then I'll have no more excuses. I'll have to leave the devil I know for a world I can only imagine. I just wish my brain was better at imagining the good things over the scary ones. 

Thank you so much, Betty!  I love activism and related work, I'm extremely passionate about it! I'm glad to hear there are other people here who share that realm of interest. Yes, there is a long list of controversies surrounding DID and diagnosis, so much so that it's hard to even get into without going on for hours. I'm currently seeing a psychologist/therapist and on the road to getting diagnosed, but the actual process of getting diagnosed here takes months-to-years, because your treatment professional needs to know you well to diagnose a covert disorder like that. It's actually been a long, hard road for me to get to this point due to the crippling healthcare crisis here in NL (and Canada in general), but that's a more personal story for a different day that would take me a few paragraphs to even get the basics of.   Oh, and:   ... But I'm also super into Will Wood (and the Tapeworms), Sublime, and Tool. My alters are into different music than me, though, so that'd be a list in it of itself. 

Thank you so much, Heather! It's good to meet you, too! Thank you for saying these things; I try to keep an open mind and learn as much as I can while being myself, so it feels really nice and affirming to be appreciated that way.   The past day on this forum has already been immensely enjoyable for me. This community is so welcoming, kind, and respectful! I'd love to write more about my experience being Two-Spirit, and what Mi'kmaq believe about Two-Spirit people - I'll likely do it in the Two-Spirit topic board very soon.    I'm so happy to have met you, and all the others I have met so far. I feel welcome here.

I do get why people take piercings out; I was tired of the belly piercing anyway, to be honest. My current piercings are actually septum, bridge, both eyebrows, and both ears. I'm aiming for my nostrils/sides of my nose next! I actually used to have the left(?) side of my nose/nostril pierced when I was a teen, too, but I had to take it out for a Navy Cadets ceremony, and it grew over in the span of a few hours... I don't remember if I was upset or not.  On that other note, I bet university was awesome, it certainly sounds like it! I bet you have some good memories there! I'd imagine Normandy accented French would be difficult to use in Canada, though, since most of our French dialects here are either Acadian-based or Québécois-based. There are a few exceptions, of course!

Hi Randi and welcome. Just commenting to remind me to drop back another time when it’s not so late. I’m an activist too, and a musician. I am also a youth worker and disability support worker and have encountered folks with DID (though I know there is sometimes controversy over diagnoses). I’m curious who your favourite band is. Some of mine are Slint, Joy Division, My Bloody Valentine, the War on Drugs.