I was a member of a trans support group for a couple of years after I started coming out.  It was good, and I benefitted a lot from it.  It was reasonably well-run and well-moderated, though I don't think any of the facilitators had any formal training.   After a while, the facilitators were starting to burn out, so they recruited some of us members to "train" (with them as instructors) to be facilitators.  Unfortunately, the training session was a disaster (long story), and turned me completely off the group.  I stopped going, and I think the meetings became sporadic.  A while after that, covid came along, and all in-person meetings were stopped.  The group, unfortunately, never recovered.  It was a shame, really, because it did a lot of good for quite a few people.   Don't worry about fitting in in a group.  Any half-decent group will accept you as you are.  When I started going, I was presenting as male, although I think I had chosen a female name at that point.  Male pattern baldness, 5 o'clock shadow (though I had shaved off my beard by then), no makeup, androgynous clothes, the whole nine yards.  I was accepted respectfully as Kathy on my say-so.  I just sat quietly and listened for the first couple of meetings.  After several weekly meetings, I finally got the nerve to wear more feminine clothes and a wig.  I had to re-introduce myself, because no one recognized me!

My wife has a T-shirt that says, "It's weird being the same age as old people!"

Sad they had to, glad they did.  It is an economic kick in the fanny for the state however. 

This one is interesting for sure on a few items.  The 5.4% number is more hopeful that I would have suspected, but the fact that this is average does need a little expansion.  California is actually in the high end >6% but when it shows which group of people is the highest (Hispanic) it is clearer to me since our Trans Community in the state has some of those highest numbers.  It is interesting to note that the Deep South states where I keep warnings to stay away from were states where the study found lower incidents.  (I downloaded the report for my set of files).

Wife being good to me, found me another Dooney & Bourke handbag at a yard sale buying it for me. Plus she did schedule a nail appointment getting our nails done for us tomorrow

I didn't know any of these things, thank you for bringing this to my awareness. 

Thank YOU, Pema, for your interest!  :)

If you want to, you can send a message to an admin type person, and they will change your user name (but only if you want to) 

Thank you and I must admit it does feel amazing to be called by my real name not the one I was given every time someone says it now I smile.

I totally agree I shouldn't hide who I really am from anyone and yes it is really difficult after 16 years of me hiding from her. I like the idea of a bank account that she would not know about I may well give that a go and I'm always looking on shein I love some of the clothing on there. Thank you I appreciate your help.

Thank you so much @KathyLauren  I am not very good at allowing big happy feeling stuff to myself, but this is... It's like all the feelings trying to be real and me being COMFORTABLE with that.  it's a happy thing! 

It makes complete sense.  It sounds like big progress, so congrats!

it's hard to imagine it will stick back home, where everything is more careful and real life and kid centric.   But, I was able to imagine myself and the feeling of allowing myself to be, and I felt it without the "oh, but I CAN'T" or without everyone else's judgement, and it was kind of magical.    And, I *could* imagine, *happily*....   I don't know if I make any sense.  It was a big day for me. Like peeling away all the scared and wobbly stuff...   I don't know if it will last...

Amazing !!! What a huge step congrats 😁 so happy for you 

Hooray for all of us! 

I *might* have updated my pronouns.  I *might* have had a sparkly day in which I have felt things and settled in to things, and breathed through stress, and NOT felt disconnected from myself.

Yay ! Bubbly days all around haha. Glad to hear it 😁

Hey hannah !    I will preface this with the fact that you shouldnt have to hide who you are for anyone but I understand how difficult this can be, especially with longer term relationships. My advice would be to try and speak to your wife as you deserve to be you.   However, you could also try opening a bank account such as revolute or chase as they are entierly on your phone. You can also buy stuff from ali express or especially shein. The experiences ive had have been good and they always come in descete packaging so you can wait to open them in private. That is what I do currently.

YAAAAAAY!!!!!!   So happy for you and your good day!    I am having a bubbly excited kind of day too!  WOOT!

@Melody Goldfinch   YES! ALL of this! It makes it SO much harder.    Like, the last few days we have been in London, and I have just been more and more growing in to myself.    I bind every day, but, today I been binding and packing for the whole day, just around London, after each day just more growing used ti being me, more than in the rural place I live all the time. And I have been feeling MORE comfortable with all kinds of aspects of being / identifying as male. I even updated my sig.    I don't even know if I could explain how this has fallen in to place to me right now.    But, not entirely the point. The point being. I feel *happy* that I can *feel* this, but, I don't know how to bring this to my children in the fullness of *this* - which is why, mostly, I aim in a more non binary way, but...   Hmmmm.