Sitting and Walking

[Guest LauraJen]

I couldn't find another thread on this specifically so wondered if I should start a thread of my own. Apologies if I have missed anything.

I was just wondering about the key differences between the way women and men sit and walk. I saw a thread which contained a sort of simulator for the gaits of men and women (I can post a link to it and/or bump the thread if people feel it might be useful) and think the way I walk is likely very much like the female setting already, although the trouble is since I spend most of my time alone, I have never really been told (with respect to being myself, I don't mean I'm in solitude all my life, just that I don't get that much time in the real world with people who know about me). The time I do spend with other trans people and allies is mostly spent sitting down as it's primarily at a youth group where we sit in a circle, and is only once a month.

As for sitting, I think naturally I might be there already but I would appreciate it if anyone has anything to comment on. I am aware that men tend to sit with their legs apart because of, well, you know, but I don't seem to do that and I always seem to sit with my legs right up close together as if I'm wearing a skirt. Often if I'm on a couch I'll have my feet tucked up beside me (sort of resembling a mermaid, I suppose). Another posture I might take on is with one leg crossed over the other and my hands clasped loosely together on top.

If I'm "doing it right" then I'd appreciate it if people say, or otherwise - I'm not consciously doing anything here, this just seems to be me. Also, if we could form a sort of summary of how men and women sit and walk in this thread then we might be able to help both MtFs and FtMs who might have the same question.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Grin - you could write a book on all that! I always say that to be seen as a woman, BE a woman. It comes to you naturally.

But also observation helps. Look at how women sit in a restaurant - they sit forward in their chair, without their back against the chair, close to the food. Why? So we don't drop food on our clothing, especially our breasts - grin. Men lounge back and act as if they own the place. They came to eat. Women go to a restaurant to socialize - and not miss a word!

Also our clothing sort of influences hw we walk and sit. Try it and see.

Just a couple of things. When full time, and fully dressed, tap in to your natural femininity.

Lizzy

[Guest Amanda Whyte]

One thing that REALLY bothers me about sitting is I can not cross my legs. I tend to sit with both legs together, knees toward one side of the chair and my feet toward the other. I dont think I am doing it justice describing it. As far as my walk, I have been practicing that and I think I have an ambiguous enough gate that it doesnt really bother me. Now my voice... but that is another topic.

[Guest Robin Winter]

I think the best advice I ever saw was also the simplest. Now...this is a generalisation, and not true of all women and men, but it's definitly got a base in fact. Women tend to try and take up as little space as possible, elbows in, feet closer together, whereas men take up as much space as possible, wide stance and elbows out. I know it was someone here at lauras that said it in a post, but I can't remember who or I'd give credit. I've also noticed myself that women seem to relax their bodies more, particularly their legs and hips, when walking, and men hold themselves a bit more stiffly.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Good observations. Also, women ALWAYS protect their modesty, legs and chest - and ALWAYS adjust hems, waist lines and shirttails. We want to look the best we can and it affects how we sit and walk, and stand - avoiding leaning on anything.. I cant explain that exactly, but after you have ironed 200 pleats on a skirt, you want to keep those pleats looking perfect!

Lizzy

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Amanda, I totally get the way you're sitting. The only way I'm able to cross my legs while sitting, and make it look convincingly female, is if I have my left side/hip higher than the right side, that way the left leg can easily sit over my right leg.

I once sat in a chair with one leg at a 90 degree angle parallel to the floor with the ankle resting on the knee of the opposite leg. My brother, in desperation, said "girls don't sit like that!" His wife tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention to show him that she was sitting the same way I was.

If there is an opening between your thighs while you're sitting, and that's perfectly fine if you're comfortable, just make sure there's something there to cover up that opening, be it your hand/arm, a pillow, a purse, something! You don't want guys staring at your special no-no place (and they will look if given the opportunity!).

Oh and with the walk. The comedian Gallagher said it best. Cowboys (manliest of men) walk with their elbows at the maximum distance from the body. A lady, on the other hand, walks with her elbows at the minimum distance from her body. Granted those are exaggerated movements but you get the idea. I've been accused of being a little prissy when I walk, especially when it comes to stepping down off a curb or across a shallow puddle or things like that. I'm dainty, darnit!

Ooo, I like that. Go forth and be dainty!

[Guest Mikkiapolis]

Not sure if this is part of what you're looking for, LauraJen, but here's a thread I started on a related topic: Heels and stairs

My best advice echoes what Elizabeth K wrote, which is to (discretely) observe other women -- watch and learn.

I agree it's tricky. There's not just one right way, different women walk and/or sit differently (as you've seen!), yet there are gender differences that can serve as these non-verbal clues that can be incongruous with our desired presentation. My approach is to observe, practice, and request supportive feedback from those I most trust.

Good luck! (hugs)

[Guest katiemarie90]

Youtube has tons of helpful videos on feminine posture. Just remember it's more convincing if you are convinced yourself. Just be carefree and know you are a girl and it'll all come natural

[Guest MrMxyzptlk]

I was watching how women walked yesterday at Walmart when I was shopping. Two things I noticed. First off, far too many women in this area don't take advantage of their femininity. Way too many flip flops and jean shorts with a t-shirt or tank top. Blah. What a waste of opportunity to be beautiful. Second I noticed that women who are dressed nice, walk nice. Those in flip flops and shorts walk pretty much like men. I managed to watch one woman in heels walk and I think I've got the sway down just right.

Sitting is still hard to figure out. RIght now I've got my ankles crossed strait ahead of me under the computer table. I've tried other poses but I just cant make it work right. I may stick with this one.

[Guest MsPerseveres]

One thing that I haven't seen mentioned yet is posture - women tend to sit and stand more erectly with a straight back, while men are more inclined to slouch. It may have to do with ensuring that the girls are fully covered (slouching will open the neck of your blouse to give a view of heaven!), and that they also show to best effect, sitting away from your body rather than sinking into your belly!

I certainly am following and observing all the other things as I get my attitude transition going.

Hugs, Brenda

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

I find that a bustier or corset helps with proper posture. It punishes you when you slouch...

Naughty slouches gets ribbing in tender spots...

Even a cheep Walmart special will help.

[Guest Kallum]

" It may have to do with ensuring that the girls are fully covered (slouching will open the neck of your blouse to give a view of heaven!) " Noooo your conspiring to block my view of heaven!!!!! hehe

Men take up as much space as we can, legs spread, slouched, feet planted on the floor. We tend to walk more ridgidly, head up looking at others passing by and sizing up the men around us. Also half the time I find myself walking with my hands in my pockets.

From what I have seen women move there hips from side to side as they walk and there butt makes this awesome swaying movement that i could watch all day , they hold there arms close to their body. When sitting (its a long list) leg crossed over the other, generally have ankles crossed in some way, i might be wrong but usually only have feet partially on the floor rather than flat footed.

Also, it depends of an individuals personality, shy, confident, arrogant, polite.

Anyway that just some of my observations.

Kal

[Guest SusanB]

Watched a youtube video the other day on how to walk like a woman, never saw a woman walk like that. Maybe they do in the city.

Hardly ever see women in heels around here but i've been observing how women walk. There doesn't seem to be any special way to do it as they all have a different style. Some do walk rather manly especially if walking up hill, others take dainty little steps and always seem to be almost running to keep up. Saw one swinging her arms real wide but she swung them behind her back rather than in front of her. All very different yet i would not think that any of them were not female.

Just an observation

Susan

[Guest Zeda]

Yesterday, I was sitting outside and I had to spend forty minutes somehow. I decided to observe people on campus and I noticed that quite a few men and women walk about the same. A smaller portion of females walked in a manly manner than the portion of males that had a more feminine walk. However, the majority of people did walk the way it would be expected. I've never paid attention to how people walk, so I found it rather comical how exaggerated it looks when you know what to look for! My wife has informed me on previous occasions that I do have a feminine walk.

As to sitting, since I am usually on the ground or at a desk, and I am super tall, my options are limited. Crossing my legs is not possible at a desk, but before I was so tall, that was my preferred method of sitting. Now I have gotten into the habit of thinking I cannot sit that way XD

Back to the walking, my point was that even if you don't get it completely right, there is a middle ground. There are some men and women that walk about the same way, based on my observation.

[Guest Edina]

Long before I even began to consider changing gender, while completely ensconced in not even thinking about how I sat or walked there are two incidents that I now remember while reading this thread.

The first way back when I was in my tweens I very badly wanted a particular pair of shoes (back in the 60's a pair of young men's shoes that had a higher heel than most, probably about 1 1/2" ...I still love walking in heels today) my sister and mom both told me that I really liked them for how they made me walk, they probably recognized a more feminine walk from me when wearing the heels.

The other was a good few years back while still well before considering gender change. I was sitting on the train with my then girlfriend who suddenly hits me on the arm and nearly yells "sit like a man". I had my legs crossed with feet as close as possible (the usual way I've been sitting after losing a lot of weight which made that stance impossible).

Both of these incidents in my life make me think that I am not far from projecting feminine even without thinking about it. I'm not sure, I guess I'll have to ask some people around me what they feel.