My letter to Lacey (for all of us who remember Nixon)

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Lacey Lynn,

I remember when you first joined Laura's and I remember someone so full of energy and hope. Your enthusiasm was so very infectious in a positive way

I knew your excitement as to your discovery of a lifelong mystery as to why you were the way you were. Your excitement to discovering that indeed you are transgendered brought a familiar tear. Finding Laura's as the medium to first start shouting this discovery out loud was a godsend. I know this feeling myself.

I want you to know that it is easy to fall into despair about what could've should've would've if we had taken more courageous steps earlier in our lives. I, like you, reflect in the mirror for not only my image now, but to go back in time and reflect on my life as it is and what it could have been.

I mention Nixon for those of us who can remember what life was like then. It is only to give historical context to my letter. A time before the internet, free expression of ideas, and a time of turmoil. A time when gender identity was absolute (or so we were told).

It is easy to accept the idea that transitioning at our age is not worth the time, expense, or the hassle. I know those fears. Why would anyone want to transition only to be a middle aged woman? (My mother asks me this all of the time).

I cannot answer for you, but I know one simple thing... being who you are is undeniable. You have already found that you are at a place of no return psychologically and/or physically (and why would you?) Going back is very tempting when things are extremely rough. Going back is not an alternative because you cannot ever go back like the things were the way that they were anyway.

If it helps at all, the older one gets, the slower one must be. The dynamics of a very young person is vastly different from those of us who are old enough to have grand-children. Even though the urgency seems great due to the lateness in ones life transgendered realization may seem. Finding that peace of expressing who you are as yourself is what is so important for the rest of your life. This does not mean that you are in competition with SRS or even HRT with those around you. This means that you find your pace, and you evolve naturally and peacefully.

All my Love to All

Brenda

[Guest John Chiv]

Brenda,

It is great to see a post from you because you have been missed. Lacey, listen to Brenda. That is what I am saying to you Sis and you keep reading this post and what we all have said to you when you are feeling down. No excuses.

John

[Guest Robin Winter]

Yeah, you're the bees knees, baby, the cats meow!

[Guest Elena]

Not sure what brought this to light, but very well said Brenda. I think this is a reminder all of us can use. Thank you.

<3

Elena

P.S. Lacey, hon, if there's something you need to get out don't be shy. You have my number. Use it!

[Sally]

Well said Brenda, glad to see you post again, sweetheart.

Lacey, I have told you some of my personal views on transitioning late in life or just transitioning in general.

I am far from perfect, barely passable at best with no more money than before, no better job, no house, no partner and basically no real prospects but I am being true to myself - this is when we have to be selfish to survive - no one matters but you - what they think means nothing it is all about you - believe in yourself - I believe in you, actually I think that you may be one of the strongest MTFs that I have ever met.

Love ya,

Sally

[JenniferB]

Lacey Lynn,

You have always been there to celebrate with me in my achievements. You are a person I understand more than you probably realize. My musical tastes are almost identical to yours. I followed the Grateful Dead back in the 80's and was part of the last vestige of the hippie scene.

I wanted to say I appreciate you here and to me you will always be my sister.

Jenny

[Carolyn Marie]

Excellent post, Brenda, as always.

Lacey, you have so many friends here. We are all rooting for you. Have faith in yourself, and things will work out for the best.

Brenda, its wonderful to have you back.

Love

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Brenda & Everybody:

Like, I'm getting misty!

God, what can I say? You've rendered The Wordy One speechless. God, just, "THANK YOU!!!"

Because it's really late Sunday night (already Monday morning in many places) here, I'll be brief (for once!). Eons ago, I was study to go with a direct-sales company, and they lectured about fear and came up with an acronym:

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real.

Which simply means that most of the things we fear just never happen! And, yet, I'm just scared. That's the plain truth ... aging, alone and scared. However, no, I'm NOT bagging it. Today was a watershed for me which I'll explain another day, because it will help the less experienced once coming along in the transition process.

Moderators:

Lacey's gonna post a video. Is it trans-related? YES!!! Heck, it's only the richest and most famous living androgyne in the world. This one particular guy has done more to further our cause than ANYBODY I know, and he did it in a time when it was really, really controversial and really, really dangerous to do so. Some say he did androgyny as a schtick for fame. Well, I say, "No way!" He's a real androgyne and his directness made great strides for people like us. Also, doggone, he's singing MY song!

The video is trans-related. The video is my song in a thread directed to me. And, it's the Christmas Season. Have a heart and allow the video, okay? Thank you!

"Do you remember your President Nixon? Do you remember the bills you had to pay even yesterday?" From "Young Americans" by David Bowie. I was going to post that song, but I like THIS one. I believe you'll know why ... hee hee!

I wanna be the girl in the red shoes at 1:17!!!

Thanks SOOO much to Brenda and all of you ... I LOVE YOU!!!

Peace Out Lacey Lynne

[Cyndee]

That was a very well worded post Brenda from someone that lived that era, thanks !

Lacey you are a very special person and your presence here an asset, we love ya. I think it's resonating here.

Transition is personal, a huge undertaking, and we can not undo the past, we relish each day, even with it's challenges, moving forward.

Smile rebel !

C -

[Guest Svenna]

"Rebel Rebel"...hehe...oh the stories I could tell...

Anyway..

Glad you are feeling better, Lacey!

Sorry I wasn't around when you were down...sorry!

Love and Stardust, Svenn