U S Military, Basic Questions And Best Practices On Transitioning”

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

essentially being transgender in the military

has loop holes for you and your oposition, it goes into ORM.

So it'll work for you if all your superriors are good with it, but even one on the nay could go through another loop hole and with no way to be able to sufficently support the disproval, it could get you kicked,

hence why DADT was removed and LGBT are still getting kicked for being LGBorT.

Goes back to orinal signed document upon indocment,, stating you will not partake in any Gay like behavoir. so make sure you say no homo at the end of anything you do or say(sarcasim) if you dont remember it was a thing on the back of a clipboard in meps.

So being trans taking part in opposite things that go concurrent ususaly with the gender of the opposite sex is not gay, but is mostly interpeted that way even though it isnt correct, Its one of those things at the stage in development where you smash head through a window and put a fist through a wall.

It could work, it is possible, people have done it, But most often than not its been very very discreate when done, and odds are very well stacked against you,

with that said, to all military and future sailors cadets and what have you

Good Night and Good Luck.

[Guest Jessicaann]

Well im jess i face a situtaion kinda diffrent. Iam still currently enlisted in the usmc infantry (woo hoo :[ ) people constantly tease me for not being the big dumb macho man and i kinda just got fed up with hiding. Ive known for years that i didnt feel right being a guy and when i can get "dolled up" it feels right and makes me happy but im about to go on my second deployment to afganistan and its hard to keep it secret anymore.

[Guest GinaInside]

Hi Jessicaann,

Please be careful, and safe as you possibly can!

Hugz,

Gina Renee

[Guest Caroline Anne]

Reguardless, she was told by the Mental Health / TBI Phyc Doc WHILE I was taking the test that I was already looking at a medical discharge/retirement and MEB for my TBI issues and after talking with my contacts in the medical career field I was told that i'm possibly looking at 90% + VA disability. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` I'm hoping that they keep going forward with the TBI treatment and press forward with the medical discharge/retirement and keep this 'off the radar' since i'm still not sure what I want to do with it outside of the almost contant .. yet new ... urge to be CD..which I can't : /

However, IF the military does decided to give me the diagnoses along with the TBI and it goes to the MEB as a completed package then off the the NGB/SG for final approval etc. while going through the VA process for disability etc... what are the chances that they'll try to screw me over just b/c this is on my record at the MEB? currently they have me with depression / anxiety / memory loss etc. which are not only symptoms of TBI but can also be attributed to GID, mine are not.

I have a couple of questions. So you say you're NGB/SG. That's National Guard Bureau/State Guard, correct? If so, are you AGR (Active Guard, Reserve) or M-day(regular NG airman)? Some time has gone by since your original post. So if things have changed, please let us know.

Firstly, the VA could care less about any GID diagnosis on an MEB. Your concern (and theirs) is what kind of discharge you get. Anything less than a General will jeopardize your chances of a smooth C&P (compensation & pension) evaluation.

I am receiving 60% from the VA and counting the days until I can get out of the Guard. You can do both. (VA & Guard). There are several good reasons to seek a C & P evaluation from the VA if you are an M-day guard airman. The main one is that if you feel that the VA evaluation is favorable to you, you can use that in an MEB. The next reason is that any C&P evaluation that is over 30% is money now, not later. This is important in case TBI symptoms lesson down the road or you get the wrong evaluating doctor. If it comes in lower than you feel is correct, you can seek a reconsideration.

I don't recommend staying in the Guard unless you have to, but it's better than the alternative of not transitioning. For me, transitioning was the only option that kept me alive. I've got about 1.5 years before I can get out, and it's a daily mind/emotion check to see if that is still possible.

Take care,

Caroline

Something you might want to keep in mind and save in case you need it is the fact that your GID was present before the TBI. And if you absolutely need too, you might want to consider letting them know when and I the time comes.

[Guest Gina9223]

This topic is still pinned? OK.

As of right now, its a 'Your Milage May Vary' kind of thing. But it seems that medical isn't doing the bum rush any more if you go to Behaviour Health and talk about the topic.

Also one of the one's I helped a few years ago, got out, transitioned and is now a few months 'post-op' is now working to get back in. I've introduced her to everyone that I know who are advocates, activists, allies or anyone else who could help. It is still the same hurtles where you need a waiver but to get that waiver you need a waiver~waiver and after that its solid Catch-22.

The item is being worked. Since the person is in a extreme critical job catagory even the military is working to find a way to get them back in.

Who knows, maybe we can get a foot in that revolving door.

[Guest ShannonW]

Thank you for all the great information. I am two years away from retiring from the Navy and finding it harder and harder to contain myself. Reading this information reinforced my resolve to wait. It has been a battle, but seeing all this information gives me some hope and possible plans for my last year. Will have to think everything out first since I don't want to lose that retirement. However again thank you for what you have written and it allows me to know that I am not alone out here. Thank you.

[Guest Gina9223]

@ShannonW, Well Shannon once your past 18 years active duty you're in 'Sanctuary'.

This means any discharge proceeding against you has a higher level of scrutiny. For a long time, in some military communities it was SOP to try to discharge enlisteds prior to 20 years for anything and everything. Often on trumped up crap, so they put Sanctuary in place. Technically speaking, you can put in your retirement request at 18 years for your discharge at 20 years.

Depending on where your at (both physical location and mentally), if you're on sea or shore duty, the command type all plays in to when you start the process of seeking medical care.

Its cheaper to start care while in the military. If you follow the WPATH guide lines for therapy, a lot of that can be done in the military. If you read Bilerico Project you will find out a active duty service member was actually getting HRT though their military medical branch clinic. Its not the first time I've heard of someone getting that.

This process in active duty US Military is very much a 'Your Mileage May Vary' kind of thing. A lot of us are working to get that changed and more.

OutServe now has a column regarding Transgender service members. Worth a read.

[Guest Gina9223]

March 2013, at this time it seems that all of the old regs are still in place.

I know of 4 people who have come out to medical and gotten HRT from military medical.

That includes 1 person who was deployed incountry Afgahnistan who was on HRT the entire time.

Its still 'Your Milage May Vary' and the DoD hasn't budged on its views.

SLDN/OutServe now has a Trans person leading it and its now pushing the Transgender issue.

You can read about that in the latest issue of OutServe. Its free and available on line.

[Guest crissy_oakley]

I am doing it all on my own dime. I have am paying for my therapy and medical care, out of pocket (to include HRT and Blood Work). I will have been on HRT for year, this coming May and I have 15 months, until I retire.

[Guest Makayla Reed]

I need some advice on how to make my time in the military easier.

I've always know deep down inside that I was a woman not a guy, but my whole family is Mormon and being anything other then a straight male when your born a man is looked down on and is called a sin. When my brother come out and said he was gay everyone he knew made his life a living hell especially our parents and siblings to the point of kicking him out of their house. When someone is raised Mormon they are raised to be extremely ignorant. So growing up I didn't know what transgender was, I didn't know that a girl could be born in a boys body or the other way around. As hard as growing up is it's so much harder when you're transgendered especially when raised thinking that boys are boys and girls are girls and nothing else is posible or right. My need to hide who I am raised exponentially when my parents kicked my brother out of the house. This happened when my brother and I were in high school so by this time I had done a little research on transgender and HRT, but hadn't yet excepted that I wasn't a guy. A few years passed and I had moved around a little and had some low paying jobs even tried to have a girlfriend but nothing was working and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find happyness and my eternal depression followed my everywhere. Suicide my whole life always was and is at the forfront of my mind. My ex-girlfriend dumped my in a text message and I lost my job in a matter of a couple of weeks, it didn't take me long to run out of money so I decided to move back in with my parents. I couldn't find anyone to higher someone who didn't have a high school diploma just a ged and who had trouble holding a steady job. So I enlisted in the army, for a few reasons:

1) To protect my family and friends

2) Because I needed a steady paying job and

3) Last but most importent it was my last try at trying to convence mostly me but my family as well that I was a guy.

Needless to say I was in denial. So that brings us to a few days ago where I called my dad telling him I had gender identity disorder or gender disphoria. After explaining what it is since he has never heard of it before he basically said that I could go see a psychiatrist to help cure me of this. He also said that he didn't believe that god made people that are born gay or are transgendered, he then continued on to say that satan or the devil is everywhere making people do and think all kinds of sins. To sum it up my dad thinks im an insane sinner who chose this lifestyle. Oh, I almost forgot I brought up the subject of transgender to some of my friends in my unit to see how they would react, it made me sick to hear some of the kinds of things they said about transgender people. I'm not going to lie it took everything I had not to cry right then and there, I also about cried over the phone when I came out to my dad (I've always been pretty sensitive). I've also had to deal with not one but multiple people in my family who either have cancer or were in a serious accedent. On top of all that I also might be getting charged with paying for military equipment that I did not break.

And this isn't even everything that has happened to me in my life, sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve all this. All I ask is to be happy and all life does is kick me when i'm down, no breaks no breathers just keeps kicking.

[Guest Gina9223]

UPDATE, so a few people I know have been able to access HRT thru their military care providers. A few months ago one had their name legally changed and their birth certificate while on active duty.... um... was granted legal name change in February and had their drivers license and military ID changed April and now its May. She's done this so her DD214 clearly shows her real name. The change from 'boy name' to 'girl name' is OBVIOUS. Her EOS is late August, early September. So far her command has had some wide open eyes about it but do not appear to be pursuing anything. For now, it appears that they are just going to let her go at EOS.

[Guest rackemsquirl724]

I am brand new here and my head is still spinning since my husband told me he was transgender. We are a military family, he only has 4 yrs left. I know this thread is a few years old but does anyone have any advice on what he should do about transiyioning. We've pretty much concluded he will have to wait till after he retires before doing anything more than crossdressing. It's only been 4 days since he told me. We have 2 children 2 and 12. I am trying so hard to be suportive but I can't deny I'm struggling. I love him and want him to be happy.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Rackemsquirl,

I can't speak to your feelings, I'm sure my ex-wife can, but I can speak to the unspoken fears I am sure you are having regarding your spouse's situation and your children.

I have 5 kids ranging from ages 11 to 2 and they are 100% on board with my transition. Children are resilient and they actually understood it better and got on board faster than anyone else I came out to.

You will find a lot of good information here and people will come and post on your questions to help keep you going, so please don't hesitate to ask.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest rackemsquirl724]

Thank u so much! It is going to be a long hard road for us but I'm trying to stay as positive as I can.

[Guest Xstal89]

Hello I am new to this site, but I want to share I have been in the US Army Reserves for almost 5 years. I have recently come to the realization I am indeed FTM I had a dramatic life experience that ignited a sort of "coming out" moment for me. In a little over a year I will go into IRR. If there are are any Reservists out there, who have gone into IRR, would you advise or not advise me to start my transitioning? I mean going on HRT and having top surgery. I hear IRR is a very good way to "lay low" and not have much to worry about.

Advice?

[Guest Gina9223]

and this is still pinned here. Wow, I've never had a thread live this long.

OK, right now... and seriously this is atypical ok? I know of 3 people;

1 FtM who's had top surgery and on HRT and if you saw his photo's you would be 0.0' He could easily be a male model. He's winding up his tenure in the military and transitioning to civilian life with no issues.

2 MtF's who's been 'marking time' for the past few years while waiting for their contract to end. A few months prior to their EOS they had their names legally changed and updated all of their military records and while on active duty. On terminal leave, one had FFS (she actually still has to go back for one day, which will be interesting) and one had SRS.

And the work to allow Trans people to have open service within the US Military goes on.

[Guest Gina9223]

So, a short update.

The young lady who recently departed the military after FFS has not posted a single picture that hasn't had a HUGE smile on her face. She's happy and to see someone who's got so much joy in their lives now is really, really GOOD. She managed to be hired before discharge with her new company knowing of her transgender status. She's young, she's beautiful and those two things coupled with a good solid education and military experience is always a winner.

The other one has had bottom surgery, however she's middle aged and lacks a completed college degree and looking for work is harder for her. So please note, youth and beauty does help in job searches, so does a college degree. She'll get to where she needs to be, just say a prayer for her. I'm older than she is and I'm a fair bit um...hell, I'm fat, old and ugly and I ain't got no college ed-you-me-kation so I'm going to college my ownself.

Added note; yeah, I admit it I done played hooky from school for a few days. A friend invited me down to Washington DC for the ACLU/Palm Center thing.

If you look at Huffington Post or MSMBC or several other websites you can see the stories on a series of panel discussions on best practices and experiences of our allied nation's active duty military Transgender experience. Those on the panel were from United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Sweden and Israel with one discussion dealing former/current members of the US Armed forces. If you look though the internet, you can find out who was on the panel so I'm going to let you go find that out on your own.

These are the US groups represented that were not really noted at the discussion;

Sparta, Allyson Robinson and Brynn Tannehill

Tava, Dana Walker (president), Sage Fox (vice president)

Out Serve... was there but I didn't get his name.

There was no one from the DoD, the VA or Congress ...for that matter no congressional runners either.

Oh and the ACLU (it was their building) and the Palm Center were there.

I got to attend the meet and greet the night before, the actual meeting and the dinner afterwards. I met over 20 of the military Transgender heavy hitters all at once and a few of my international mil-Trans friends as well.

As soon as my various contacts can get a package together for us to send our congress members to start pushing this issue I'll post it here.

This is the first event of this kind, and by the end of the day we all knew that this ....well, everyone benefited from the exchange of experiences. This will happen again, hopefully next year.

Oh and the group consensus is that the current regulations will have to change and most likely will be removed due to the change in the DSM 5 that depathologized GID to Gender Dysphoria and a few people are now in limbo because the military lawyers have stated that the regulation is out dated and based on the DSM IV and no psychologist can ethically or legally use the DSM IV or the busted regulation to make a legal move... so... if you are looking at getting booted? Lawyer up, call the ACLU and ask for help, you got a good chance of fighting them to a stalemate at least.

[Guest Gina9223]

Oh yeah, totally forgot. I got a press packet and a handout that's like the HRC Corporate Equality Index but its by The Hauge Center of Strategic Studies and its on GLBT equality in the military. That presentation was pretty interesting, it clearly shows that the USA is #40!

We're #40! We're #40! We're sucking between Cuba and Russia for GLBT equality within our military. But, we are closer to Cuba than Russia so we got that going for us. (rolls eyes)

If your wondering 'so, just how low is #40?' all of our closest allies are ahead of us and about a dozen countries that you would look down on.

So this isn't a proud moment, but we got room for improvement. Lots and lots of room for improvement.

[Guest Gina9223]

Well, since the last post another country has accepted open service by Transgender citizens so the US has moved from #40 to #41. (We're number 41! <totally sucks).

So, right now...

The US National Guard has a Capt. who is out, open and serving while Trans.

The US Army has a Sgt. who is out, open and serving while Trans.

The US Army has emplaced a new step for all discharges dealing with service member who are Trans MUST have final sign off by the Secretary of the Army. This step is identical to the one leading up to DADT repeal. Also the DoD is currently reviewing the medical regulation as part of a 5 year cycle of medical regulation review.

I honestly do not know if that's happening. So, if your looking at coming out proceed at your own risk.

But, I can see this medical regulation being removed from the books before President Obama leaves office.

[Guest Gina9223]

So, right now..... the US Army and US Air Force requires final approval of discharge of Transgender military members from the Secretary of the Army and Secretary of the Air Force. There is an enlisted US Army member who is openly Trans. An officer in the Guard who is openly Trans. As of today, a US Army officer is out and openly Trans. The AMA has reviewed the military's ban on Transgender troops and held a unanimous vote in support of the DoD removing the ban. (that's really not impacting, the American Medical Association is a civilian professional group but doctors do follow their resolutions)

Today the DoD held a Pride event where they presented the new EEOC policy that is inclusive of GLB.....with several Transgender people in attendance including the Army officer mentioned. Next year, the Pride event at the DoD will be including the T very openly.

Soon, I hope this page can go into the history books and this site can start to move forward towards mentoring transitioning troops who remain active duty and even complete their careers in the military (if they so wish). There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and its not the 9:15 Express Train.

Y'all have a great day, week, month....keep a bottle of champagne on hand because some time this year I will be partying.

[Guest Gina9223]

It's been a long donkey slog for all of us here. No one person won this, the entire team won this.

You reading this?

YOU won this.

Is it done? is it over?

No, this win is the door opening.

Contacting your Congress members and letting them know we exist and how your service impacted your life positively would help. Let them hear your voice to counter those that will contact their Congress members with only negative comments.

http://www.defense.gov/Releases/Release.aspx?ReleaseID=17378

[ponder36]

I am currently contemplating reenlistment. Will have 7.5 left to retirement when this contract ends. Just started talking to ABH about trans issues. So far she is amazingly supportive. Just wondering if I should just tough it out or ETS for space to feel comfortable in my own skin. Any thoughts?

[Guest Gina9223]

Ponder 36, technically speaking all branches of the DoD at this moment requires the secretary of the branch to authorize discharges. I'll be blunt, the first openly Trans service members WILL be trailblazers and WILL face harassment. You can most certainly start your transition now. You won't be booted simply going to medical and saying "I'm Trans" but .....May of 2016, when the new policies come out to support open service.... thats 8 months. I know a few people who are openly Trans at their commands, there are some issues. One has lawyered up because his new CO wants him to wear a dress (he's FtM).

So, right now its not a 'red light' or a 'yellow light' but still not a 'green light' ....um, more like a 'light greenish light'.

If you want your cake and eat it too, start making your transition plan, learn who's at medical over in the mental health side, make some friends there. May, its only 8 months away......

Your call.

[Guest Gina9223]

.....and the long slog appears to be over. A victory in our time, blablabla.

The ban against Transgender citizens serving openly in the United States Armed Forces is now lifted.

You may hear how this or that person did it all alone, but the truth is as we have all learned in the military there is no 'I' in team. This was a team effort of MilTrans, Cis-Allies, a multitude of organizations and lets face it a President who was open minded enough to let it occur. If your MilTrans, this 4th of July celebrate your donkey off for a victory well won and remember to stand by because the haters are gonna come out of the wood work.

To those who are in, and those who are going to be joining and they who shall be the first among many to serve ..... I myself served with the first women pilots, it is NOT going to be a cake walk. There will be push back, harassment and numerous issues all of which will never be mentioned in the history books.

So..... is this where I get to say 'mission accomplished'??? No banners, no parades, ....no medals, even though I know a few dozen who've earned them.

To those in, good luck, fair winds, following seas and all that.

[Guest Gina9223]

*sigh* OK, insert this back on the POD. This isn't back to square one, this is an opportunity to practice our basic skills, teach new comers and mentor them up so they can fight the battle.