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Guest Vicky

How Can I Be With God If I Am Transgendered?

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Guest Vicky

How can I find God and myself as a Christian if I am transgendered? I have been a Christian for about 15 years, and I had a lot to do with the church before. I was interpreter, bible school teacher and very active in the church for many years. I also saw a lot of good things and a lot of really bad things happening in the church. I am now disgusted of the people in the church. Now I live in a different country, different town, going to a different church, if ever I am going, because I am not going now because I have the inner conflict that I am a woman, but outside I am a man. And if God created me as a man, then why I want to be a woman so much, why my behaviur is not "mannish", why I am so sensitive like a woman? Can God accept me? Even I find in the Bible that man should not dress into woman's dress. So why I have the desire to do this since my early teen age, and why I am a woman inside? And since I found my true-self my sexual behaviour is way much better than before. But how can I sing a song to Him or pray to Him with a clean heart, if I don't know if he is okey with me like this? I know that God loves so much everybody, but inside me, I feel so guilty. And I can not hide this from Him, he knows it all. I am very confused. Somebody can help?

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Guest Jean Davis

Hi honey

First you have to remember that we are ALL made in God's image. Do you believe that God could relate to either gender if God was one or the other. I would tend to believe that God is both genders and that perhaps we are closer to God than most because we have a better understanding.

Perhaps it is time to read between the lines and grasp the meaning God is trying to relay. To love, respect and charish all as God would regaurdless of their differences. I think that that would be the message God is trying to say, perhaps that is the reason we are here.

LUV

Jean

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Guest ~Brenda~

Lily, my dearest,

God is Love. This means that God does not discriminate against anyone. I have seen this idea before about God not accepting one who is trangendered. This is a false idea, promoted by man, not God. God accepts all of us, cisgendered and transgendered. You deserve the presence of God in your life as anyone else does.

You accept God. God already accepts you :)

Love

Brenda

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Guest ricka

Lily----I so understand and feel what you are saying, and the emotions behind what you write. For me the greatest epiphany came when I realized that God was so much bigger than they ever told me He was. And realizing it was never about me or who I am but about Him and His unconditional love for me. That said I realized we are the meek whom He intended to be the inheritors of His Kingdom---those of us who have nothing to render us deserving of His merit except His love for us. It is so simple and yet so foreign to our human minds to grasp. When the church says the gates of His Kingdom are closed to us, they are soooooo wrong! Don't let anyone speak for God. He can speak for Himself! We--- The Transgendered, are in a position to know His Grace more than anyone else!!

Ricka

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Guest ricka

Lily---another thought: What is a clean heart? It is simply a heart without pretense about being anything but who we are, a heart which approaches God with nothing of our own commendation but only because of His invitation and open arms. How often He has told us this---in the Old and New Testaments but still the Church misses this. And His only commandment-- to love one another as He loves us.

Ricka

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Guest Zenda
How can I find God and myself as a Christian if I am transgendered? I have been a Christian for about 15 years, and I had a lot to do with the church before. I was interpreter, bible school teacher and very active in the church for many years. I also saw a lot of good things and a lot of really bad things happening in the church. I am now disgusted of the people in the church. Now I live in a different country, different town, going to a different church, if ever I am going, because I am not going now because I have the inner conflict that I am a woman, but outside I am a man. And if God created me as a man, then why I want to be a woman so much, why my behaviur is not "mannish", why I am so sensitive like a woman? Can God accept me? Even I find in the Bible that man should not dress into woman's dress. So why I have the desire to do this since my early teen age, and why I am a woman inside? And since I found my true-self my sexual behaviour is way much better than before. But how can I sing a song to Him or pray to Him with a clean heart, if I don't know if he is okey with me like this? I know that God loves so much everybody, but inside me, I feel so guilty. And I can not hide this from Him, he knows it all. I am very confused. Somebody can help?

Kia Ora Lilym,

Even though personally I have no belief in a god...I've been told on a number of occassions by those who do hold such a belief... "GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES!" so just do what you 'feel' is the right thing to do...In other words if it feels right[and is not physically harming others]then go for it!

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest Vicky

Thank you very much dear Brenda for telling me that God is Love and He does not discriminate,

and you dear Ricka that His love is unconditional and His grace is more than the way people want to limit.

I am just thinking, if God is really so graceful and loves us as transgender persons, I will be so thanksful to Him forever...I wish i have a revelation about this... , people in the church did already so much damage into my life, tht i don't care about their opinion anyway if they want to close me out. But if He invites me inside the Gates...would be awesome. If He could forgive me and love me as I am, than surely His grace and love is greater than my imagination...

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Guest Vicky
Lily---another thought: What is a clean heart? It is simply a heart without pretense about being anything but who we are, a heart which approaches God with nothing of our own commendation but only because of His invitation and open arms. How often He has told us this---in the Old and New Testaments but still the Church misses this. And His only commandment-- to love one another as He loves us.

Ricka

Ricka, I think you found what is my other big problem, how can I have clean heart if I am hiding my transgender true-self from the people, eventhough I show and tell the truth to God?

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Guest Vicky
Kia Ora Lilym,

Even though personally I have no belief in a god...I've been told on a number of occassions by those who do hold such a belief... "GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES!" so just do what you 'feel' is the right thing to do...In other words if it feels right[and is not physically harming others]then go for it!

Metta Jendar :)

Jendar, sweetheart, it feels right to me, because I feel I have to do this, otherwise I am just keeping my true person hiding, but same time I just I need to find my acceptance in front of God if any, and it is a very important issue to me.

Huggs,

Lily

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Guest Sarinah

God made you who you are. Before you were in the womb he knew you and all the days of your life. It is because of who you are that God Loves you. All that god wants from us is our love for him, and an honest heart seeking to love the rest of his creation. Everything else is just life. For God so loved the world that he sent his only son to die on the cross, that all who believes in him will not die but have eternal life. Seek to love God and yourself and all others with all your heart and everything else will fall into place.

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Guest viv
How can I find God and myself as a Christian if I am transgendered? I have been a Christian for about 15 years, and I had a lot to do with the church before. I was interpreter, bible school teacher and very active in the church for many years. I also saw a lot of good things and a lot of really bad things happening in the church. I am now disgusted of the people in the church. Now I live in a different country, different town, going to a different church, if ever I am going, because I am not going now because I have the inner conflict that I am a woman, but outside I am a man. And if God created me as a man, then why I want to be a woman so much, why my behaviur is not "mannish", why I am so sensitive like a woman? Can God accept me? Even I find in the Bible that man should not dress into woman's dress. So why I have the desire to do this since my early teen age, and why I am a woman inside? And since I found my true-self my sexual behaviour is way much better than before. But how can I sing a song to Him or pray to Him with a clean heart, if I don't know if he is okey with me like this? I know that God loves so much everybody, but inside me, I feel so guilty. And I can not hide this from Him, he knows it all. I am very confused. Somebody can help?

Hi Lily,

You say you are a Christian, if you really are so in your thinking and your every day life then you have no choice in the matter hun, God"s love for you,

our Transsexual Sister is as beautiful as it is for all people, its just not your call hun, the Boss is calling the shots on you. viv.

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Guest Luci

Hello Lily,

I was in the same boat as you for a long time. My knowledge of my gender identity issues went back to when I was three. At 17 I game my life to Jesus, and prayed that the Lord would take the conflict away. It never happened. There was a long history of guilt, cross-dressing and then purge and repentance, but never peace. I tried Christian counseling but the advice was not very helpful and sometimes contradictory.

About three years ago I realized that the unresolved conflict was a big part of my ongoing depression. So I went to Persad, which counsels people with GLBT-related issues. They were very supportive of my faith in God, and understood that my healing needed to incorporate my faith. I also began a personal Bible study to help frame my thoughts as I worked through my issues. In addition, my insisted that we inform a few of our friends from our church so they could pray for the two of us. It was a scary thing to look at this part of me with unblinking eyes after 40+ years. But my first commitment was to the truth, wherever it led me.

I could tell you how I got to where I did another time, but here are some of the things I learned on my journey:

- Everyone is different, so there will not be one answer for everyone. Find a counselor who is respectful of your issues and faith, and work with them. I found the questions my counselor asked were very helpful in focusing my attention on the important things. We can do the same act for very different motivations, and I found that for my peace I needed to look at what was motivating my behavior. This requires a certain amount of brutal honesty. There are genuinely transgendered people and there are some who act transgendered but something else is going on underneath. Peace only comes through the truth. I highly recommend Brendan Manning's book "Abba's Child," which talks about getting at the truth of a believer's brokenness as the path to a deeper relationship with God.

- The fall of man touched everything. We are all broken to some degree. There is no shame in this, it is a condition every person has. I came to believe that my gender dysphoria was a result of the fall, just as my near-sightedness, bad teeth and male-pattern baldness was. It is not "good" for my plumbing to be in conflict with my identity. I rejected the "God doesn't make mistakes." argument; tell that to a person born with CP. This world is filled with people who were dealt a bum hand. It doesn't mean that God doesn't love them. I also think it's absurd to insist that the perishable, our bodies somehow automatically takes precedence over the immortal—our souls. So what you and I deal with is extraordinary not because of the Lord, but because our society is so uncomfortable with it. In some societies people like us would be seen as peacemakers and mediators, because we have one foot in each gender.

- The fruit of the Spirit is not different for TG believers. Our lives are to be marked by love, patience, long suffering, humility, service, grace, and all the aspects of a mature believer. Our condition does not exempt us. I had to bite my tongue as my church prayer support let their fears rather than their knowledge of who I am guide their thoughts. I almost lost them as friends, I was so hurt. But Christ calls us to forgive, and I now understand the limits of what they can deal with. Christians do not angrily demand their rights, but treat each other as better than themselves. We are enjoined not to let our behavior be a stumbling block for others. For you, the answer may be a different church. A new support system.

- Lastly, the Lord loves you, and He wants to se you set free. I don't know what freedom looks like for you, but always remember that the Lord convicts us, which leads to repentance and action. The enemy of or souls uses guilt, which paralyzes us into inaction and worthlessness. I had to get to the point where I was willing to follow the Lord in whatever direction He led, even if it meant the end of my marriage or the end of my cross dressing. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you with a love so intense it can be scary. Rest in Him first. Obey his word. Bravely test the truth. Act in faith. You will find your home at the end.

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Guest julia_d

Completely irrelevant subject.. The question really is "Can you accept yourself"??

If you can answer yes to that question then whatever spirituality you have will just have to be comfortable with it. The only person we ultimately answer to is ourself.

Ever heard of the weighing of the heart against the feather of truth?

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Guest Chandra

I feel we are all gods children.

male , female it matters not in the big scheme of things. We are all humane.

It is how we live our lives that count , not the clothing on our skin.

Love Chandra

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Guest DisDwarf

The New Testament says: "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment." (John 7:24)

This is a command from Jesus telling people not to judge transgender people or anyone else by their body, but examine their soul. If you believe you have truly understood what gender your soul is, then other people must accept you with that gender when you tell them who you are, because Jesus says we must not judge according to mere appearance.

Churches that use the Bible to comdemn transgender people just misinterpret the Bible. Find a church that is LGBTQI-affirming and welcomes transgender people.

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Guest Katrina Reann

I too once struggled with shame and guilt because of religious beliefs. But there is a big difference between mainstream religion and God. There are many things that mainstream religion does not accept and preaches against. And they use the Bible as a two by four to smack people in the head. And they take no scientific evidence into consideration. Now I believe was inspired by God but I also believe our Faith in God needs to be balanced with science in many situations such as ours. In other words we shouldn't be so earthly minded that we are no Heavenly good and neither should we be so Heavenly minded that we are no earthly good.

After many years of inner struggle with the shame and guilt of who I am and whether God accepts us this way I simply accepted the fact that God made me this way. And if He made me this way He must have accept it long before I was born. I got tired of the religious game playing and don't attend church the way I used or probably should. But attendance isn't what save us anyway. What saves us is the love of God and the sacrifice His Son made on the cross. He knows we are imperfect beings (meaning everyone0 and that their is many things that go into what makes us us. And He allowed us all to be individuals. I believe when our time comes and we stand before God's judgment throne he will take ALL evidence into consideration along with how we have lived the life He gave us. I don't think we are meant to know everything, overcome everything, or be perfect in every way. That would be defeating the purpose of Christ being born, crucified, and resurrected. I truly believe He wants us to be who we truly are with out shame. And regardless of gender or race as long as we have good morals and have accepted His Son into our hearts we will make it to Heaven regardless of what mainstream religion teaches. And I think many religious people who have been so judgmental will be surprised either at the judgment throne or when they get to Heaven. Because I truly believe there will be a lot of their so called unwanted's will be there.

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Guest Roberta1

IMHO:

One must remember that the Bible may have been inspired by God, but was, none-the-less, written by man, then edited by man.

then all the books were scrutinized and voted upon for inclusion into or exclusion from the Bible, and finally a English King had the last say!

Well, if this is so, then one has to read and interpret the words in the context of when they were written. Finally, God, being a loving God,

the Bible, being a book written by man, plus the fact that God gave man the right to freewill (point to come) How could any thing that

happens on earth be considered against God? The only factor is that we rely too much on others [men] to set the norm, ie: what is

acceptable, and what is not. If it is said enough times, then black becomes white. Undoubtedly, much of what is in the Bible is based on

[oral] history. But There are also stories that may be there solely to teach a moral lesson, and possibly were stretched out a bit to improve

the drama around the campfire.

Sincerely,

Roberta

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Guest Katrina Reann
IMHO:

One must remember that the Bible may have been inspired by God, but was, none-the-less, written by man, then edited by man.

then all the books were scrutinized and voted upon for inclusion into or exclusion from the Bible, and finally a English King had the last say!

Well, if this is so, then one has to read and interpret the words in the context of when they were written. Finally, God, being a loving God,

the Bible, being a book written by man, plus the fact that God gave man the right to freewill (point to come) How could any thing that

happens on earth be considered against God? The only factor is that we rely too much on others [men] to set the norm, ie: what is

acceptable, and what is not. If it is said enough times, then black becomes white. Undoubtedly, much of what is in the Bible is based on

[oral] history. But There are also stories that may be there solely to teach a moral lesson, and possibly were stretched out a bit to improve

the drama around the campfire.

Sincerely,

Roberta

Finally!!! Someone who views the bible as I do. I could not have said it better. God is the one with the power and He still has a voice today that can and does inspire many.ty Roberta...Huggsss

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JJ

When I was a small child the only person in my life who loved and accepted me once told me that if I was still and listened I could fell and know God in my heart and would always know what was right. And for me that has been true.

When I was 5, I was told anyone not a member of our church was going to hell. I stood up right in the middle of Sunday School and shouted "God's not like that and you'll never make me believe it" and stormed out. My great-uncle was an elder in the church and the consequences were severe but I never regretted it. I still feel that way

For me God is too much to be limited and boxed in by the mind of mankind. We just can't grasp it. I have really struggled with the idea at times that I can't understand or define God but I can feel the flow and presence of God. . I believe that the bible is a guide but it wasn't intended to be used to limit God- rather to guide us and get us to thinking. I have heard the same verses quoted in different denominations to condemn each other as wrong. And if we go literally there are some verses-such as the ones about divorce or dietary restrictions that you don't hear quoted now. You can't say the bible is literal and actually true and the turn around and ignore parts that are inconvenient. Not only has it been in the hands of man and subject to all of the flaws of man but as a guide it hasn't been allowed to change as society and conditions change. The truths about love and prayer don't change. Much of human nature hasn't changed so much of the bible is still relevant but I don't think all of it is.

Besides when I read some passages my heart still shouts "God isn't like that and you'll never make me believe it" My God is in my heart and I know that I am loved and accepted there.

God created me this way so I know it's alright.

And there is so much love and comfort and good in this site that I can't doubt the presence of God

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Guest NatalieRene
How can I find God and myself as a Christian if I am transgendered? I have been a Christian for about 15 years, and I had a lot to do with the church before. I was interpreter, bible school teacher and very active in the church for many years. I also saw a lot of good things and a lot of really bad things happening in the church. I am now disgusted of the people in the church. Now I live in a different country, different town, going to a different church, if ever I am going, because I am not going now because I have the inner conflict that I am a woman, but outside I am a man. And if God created me as a man, then why I want to be a woman so much, why my behaviur is not "mannish", why I am so sensitive like a woman? Can God accept me? Even I find in the Bible that man should not dress into woman's dress. So why I have the desire to do this since my early teen age, and why I am a woman inside? And since I found my true-self my sexual behaviour is way much better than before. But how can I sing a song to Him or pray to Him with a clean heart, if I don't know if he is okey with me like this? I know that God loves so much everybody, but inside me, I feel so guilty. And I can not hide this from Him, he knows it all. I am very confused. Somebody can help?

Lily,

God doesn't care about the flesh. He cares about your soul. He cares about who you are and how you have conducted yourself.

Are you a man? Having male plumbing doesn't make you a man. Besides you also have to keep in mind that the bible although the word of God was still written through a mans hand. Some of mans prejudices could have slipped in during the interpretation.

God accepts everyone who accepts him, Jesus made that quite clear. Don't let anyone tell you differently. God loves you. He didn't make a mistake making you but that doesn't mean that you're diverging from his plan. It's likely that we're meant to learn something from our time on earth walking a mile in someone else's shoes.

If your current church can't accept accept you, that is them not God and you should find another church.

Be strong

Natalie

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Guest TinaLynn

the biggest thing i have trouble with is that as a child growing up i was told a story that soon after

i was born my great unt a very spiritual lady and a prayer warior was reading the bible and praying about what

my family never said but as she finshed praying the bible open the book of Timothy and from what i gathereed

she knew that was the name i was to have.

troubling thing is if i'm to live as i feel i 'm from the inside out then by chasnging my name ,,,,,,wouldn't that

a slap in god's face???????

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Guest Hoslers_wife

I have also fought with this for years. I was raised Baptist and struggled with what that meant for me as a lesbian. After years of struggling I came to the conclusion that his loves me, gay/straight/whatever. My husband is transgendered and we feel like its a double no no. Me gay, him transgered but at the end of the day we love and respect people, the earth, and our god. Were good people with caring hearts. We are gods children. He made us this way.

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Guest Girl Emily

This was a burden that played heavily in my guilt and shame that I carried for to long. There are verses in the Bible that praise God for his care and knowledge of our being while we were still developing in our mother's womb. We are not mistakes. The world is mistaken. God does not see and judge as man does. He knows an judges on what's inside and what you have done with what you were given. Paul lists many of the gifts of the Spirit, but he doesn't claim to list them all. God is infinite in His wisdom, His creativity, His understanding, His compassion, His love. We that are trans have been given a wonderful opportunity to live life in both genders. That is just awesome in itself. We have been given a rare gift in a time when God's medical science can give what was never possible before now, how blessed are we? We that are Christian need to boldly say in a loving manner the church is wrong in its position against us as they were wrong about Galileo who is perhaps the man responsible for modern science. "Saul. Saul why do you persecute me?" Should be our battle hymn as we go into battle against those of whom are against us. I went to church twice in the last week and as the congregation whose national leaders called me a sexual deviant akin to pedaphiles I sang How Great Thou Art with a clean conscious until I was brought to tears as I tried miserably to maintain my composure. We need to stop living in fear of the radical or even mainstream Christians and call them to account for the suffering we have all suffered and continue to suffer because of their misguided and blind position against us for it is from the pit of hell itself that it originates. Satan has enlisted neophyte Christians who have been put in position of leadership over the church to attack us because our gift can be a powerfully used weapon of healing to people in and outside the church.

We have been given much and much is expected of us will we live up to our potential our obligation to make the way safe for our followers is yet to be decided.

In His Name

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Guest Genie
the biggest thing i have trouble with is that as a child growing up i was told a story that soon after

i was born my great unt a very spiritual lady and a prayer warior was reading the bible and praying about what

my family never said but as she finshed praying the bible open the book of Timothy and from what i gathereed

she knew that was the name i was to have.

troubling thing is if i'm to live as i feel i 'm from the inside out then by chasnging my name ,,,,,,wouldn't that

a slap in god's face???????

Don't worry about name changing, hon. God has been in the name changing business for a very long time. I suggest you get an answer from him rather than getting it second hand from other people.

"Saul. Saul why do you persecute me?" Should be our battle hymn as we go into battle against those of whom are against us. I went to church twice in the last week and as the congregation whose national leaders called me a sexual deviant akin to pedaphiles I sang How Great Thou Art with a clean conscious until I was brought to tears as I tried miserably to maintain my composure. We need to stop living in fear of the radical or even mainstream Christians and call them to account for the suffering we have all suffered and continue to suffer because of their misguided and blind position against us for it is from the pit of hell itself that it originates. Satan has enlisted neophyte Christians who have been put in position of leadership over the church to attack us because our gift can be a powerfully used weapon of healing to people in and outside the church.

We have been given much and much is expected of us will we live up to our potential our obligation to make the way safe for our followers is yet to be decided.

In His Name

The huge problem with people and transgenderism/transsexualism is, unfortunately, ignorance. When people see one person who happens to he a pedophile, prostitute or a felon, oh how often do they attribute that to everyone in the category. Does that sound familiar? It's stereotyping, which is very common in racism and sexism (especially in New York). It's a little saddening. I am counting on Christian leaders to set a good example in there position to others (like the youth). We all fall into sin, but we are to repent, not continuing to slandering one another.

The description you provided is exactly what modern Pharisees are. While some may hold positions of power, the majority are every day people that are very self-righteous. Not all of mainstream and radical Christians are like this though. 90% of United States citizens affiliate being Christian, but only 10% of them are actually affected at all by Christian theology (if you want the research PM me for them).

Truly I tell you, I live in a fallen world with the vast majority that are autosoteric.

Love,

Genie

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Guest Kimberly S

Hello Lily

I am very young(18 years) but here is how I understand it

In the bible which I believe to be the literal Word of God, in the Old Testament it says a man should not wear women's clothing and a woman not wear a man's, but in the old testament there's 600+ other laws, does that mean we have to follow all of them? Well, yes, it does actually, since Jesus said so himself in the New Testament(forgot where). But Jesus also said:

"'I tell you the truth, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God' When the disciples heard this they were astonished and asked, 'Who then can be saved?' Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible'"(Matthew 19:23-26). Now I like to take a moment to let those last couple words sink in: "WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE" It gives me goosebumps honestly, think of all those 'religious' people who have judged you in the past, none of them come close to the glory of God, they are human just like you and me.

Another one that I like is Matthew 21:31-32(Spoken by Jesus to the CHIEF PRIESTS OF THE TEMPLE!)'I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe in him.' Now I'm sure you already knew this, but prostitutes and tax collectors were considered very naughty people back in the day ;) And yet Jesus said they were saved, because they knew they had sinned and they asked forgiveness from God, the only one who can give it.

For more inspiring verses from the Son of God himself, just read the four gospels, they're called the GOOD NEWS for a reason! :)

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      I agree with Tori M, and I enjoy reading as well, one book I really enjoyed early in my transition was "She's not there" by Jennifer Boylan. The one story in the book about how this creep followed/stalked her after the gig (she was in a band), really hit home. I journaled my thoughts during the time period of reading this book in an old fashioned spiral bound note book, still have it.   I agree with SydneyBlue by staying busy, such as listening to or playing music is a great distraction from GD, do things, make things, apply yourself. Get your mind out of "Genderland". Consider this, non trans people don't dwell on these topics to the details we do, it can be very taxing. The faster you can get out of genderland the better, just living your life. Identify your own personal triggers, what initiates such thoughts, if Dysphoria rears it's ugly head, think how can you prevent this from happening again ?   Good luck, it's not easy, reminders can be anywhere..   Hugs   C
    • Sydneyblue
      I live in disphoria full time and can say doing constructive things you are good at. For example i try as hard as i can at my Job that makes me feel good. I also think feeling bad can be good because when you achieve your goal makes the victory worth it. 
    • DeeDee
      100% Can confirm this happens. Due to being weak willed when it comes to ruining myself I am trying a 3 pronged attack of: incentives, exercise and food changes. I have a summer dress I want to fit into that hangs prominently in "that" closet. A picture of me running at a parkrun up on the sweet treats cupboard (that I try my best not to fill too often)   I am currently kickstarting myself with the couch to 5k app, I felt great at the beginning of the year when I could complete a 10km ( Doing c25k again, but this time I'm being chased by zombies)    I have ordered a 3wk meal replacement plan that worked in the past until I started feeling good enough about myself to start ordering pizza and fell back to where I am now. The problem when you do not like yourself is that stodgy comfort foods offer that temporary hit of endorphins and nostalgia before kicking you back to the curb. They're also so much cheaper and easier to get hold of than good tasting healthy alternatives. Also for me personally it is a form of subconsious self sabotage and self loathing/transphobia - If I finally start to look how I want to look in the mirror it removes the excuse to stay safely as I am. You just have to keep trying.  💛
    • Cyndee
      Peace, Love, and the common good
    • Dana Michelle
      Bulldogs bulldogs bulldogs fight fight fight. That is a grammatically valid sentence.
    • Teri Anne
      I totally understand about the hospital thing I am the same way. I had to get an ultra sound done earlier this month and going to the diagnostic center was like going to the hospital. They did have things all set up well because there were very few people there.
    • Jackie C.
      Yeah, that's on my list for "things I'd like to do." The GCS cleaned me out though. It'll be a minute before I can afford it. Also avoiding hospitals for the apocalypse if I can.   Hugs!
    • Teri Anne
      There is always fat transfer if you have the funds to go that route.  
    • Teri Anne
    • SaraAW
      Saving now is a great idea, even if you decide not to have surgery, you'll have yourself a nice little nest egg to treat yourself.
    • SaraAW
      I agree with Jani, those closest to us have the largest adjustment required because of their investment. This, my wife keeps reminding me of, is why she is still not able to accept me fully as I am. It will be a year next month since I came out to her. Everyone moves through the grieving process at different rates.   As for telling your parents, I am again with Jani and Jackie, if there is no real benefit to you in telling them and finding out finally one way or another whether they will support you. It would be much better to build a good solid support system from those you know will likely be on your side, before you come out to your parents, if you're doubting it will go well.
    • SaraAW
      Hi Holly, I agree with the others, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of in trying to be yourself. As difficult as it is, the decision to transition should be yours alone and your health and well-being should be at the forefront of that decision. It is then your SO's decision if she can maintain the relationship. It is quite a change for both people in a relationship and it will take time to figure everything out. If she hasn't ended the relationship yet, that is a good sign that there is a chance for it to work out. Open and honest communication is the only way forward. Remember that both of your feelings are valid. I have been working on keeping my marriage of 13 years, since I came out last summer to my wife. It is still very rough going at times.   Patti, that is probably best discussed with legal council. I am not certain the ramifications to you if you fail to disclose, both through the courts and your medical board. The one thing you have in your favour with confiding in your attorneys is client-attorney privilege, so there should be no harm in seeking their advice, other than more expense for the consult. If I was in your shoes, I would be keeping my attorney fully in the loop and following their guidance. I can tell you that perjuring yourself is not a great idea, if you are required to testify under oath, tell the truth.
    • Shay
      I love this 6 word idea!!!!
    • Jackie C.
      My nails are a garbage fire.
    • Cyndee
      My nails need a touch up
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