Female To Male??? Tomboy? Butch?

[Guest 2892Bandie]

I am very very new here. I really am kind of scared about this... i came out as lesbian a year ago but the label never really seemed to fit. "butch" never really did either. So, lets see if i can explain myself a little bit.

I never really have felt i fit in with my body. I only remember wearing a dress when i was very young and even to ear a skirt my mom would bribe me. Even when she bribed me she would get me the most masculine army boots. I always remember wanting be like the Ken barbie doll when i was young always admired him. (in a non-romantic way) Growing up i never really dressed or conformed to the female form of things. I never really knew where i fit in. I would rather play kickball then jump rope. I don't know.

The biggest clue now that i look back i didn't even want to wear a bra. Even when i did it was something that pushed them down so much they looked like pecs. Which is what i have always wanted. I guess you could say it seems like i am trans right there.

But, I can't help but think like a girl. I reason things out maybe, thats me buying into a man's sterotype but it's true. I think like a "woman" and want to be a man. About a year ago i started thinking i would so like to be a man.

So, I cut my hair short and wore men's clothes. I look like a man, but still i get the female pro-nouns and it makes me cringe. I am lost. I love the fact i am who i am. but, i really don't know what to call me. What am I? Who am I?

Alot of questions and alot of mesed up information i know. I could use your help.

[Guest Michelle M]

I'm no doctor, but I think you might be trans if what you say is true. If you really hate the pronouns that much it's a good sign. Make a list of all the things you'd like about being a guy. Then make a list about what you'd regret about getting rid of your old self. Which list weighs more? Also, don't be worried about 'how you think'. Some women are very logical, and some men are very emotional. We're all very different people all on a sliding scale. Hormones, self image, and self acceptance can change your emotions and how you think a bit too.

You probably still get called a girl because it's usually acceptable for females to crossdress. It's also probably your voice and your lack of shadow/beard? You can even see the beard on a clean shaven man, so it's probably why people see through you.

Some men are really feminine and happy with it, and some women are really masculine and happy with it. Just never ever lie to yourself and try make sure it's what you want. It's quite a journey and tons of effort. If you think transitioning is the only way to make you happy, and happy with yourself, do it, but be careful and do it right without rushing.

[Guest Victor]

try picture yourself and your life in like 10 years, how do you see yourself/life ?

[Guest o0tg0o]

try picture yourself and your life in like 10 years, how do you see yourself/life ?

i would agree with that one. that's what i did that really concluded how i felt.

It might actually be really hard to figure it out though...especially if you're unsure of your future in general too, but try your best and be honest to yourself

I had a similar experience where I admired Barbie, (instead of Ken of course)

I did come to like who I am too...(maybe not up to the best level, but at a level I can totally live with) so I'm also in the same boat as far as wondering why I feel like this still yet. I still finally decided to give up on resisting it though.

Little by little helps. Just like how you cut your hair and wore guy's clothings, what I did first was to grow out my hair a little bit more, and wear those slim t-shirts and stetchy jeans that normally girls would wear. ^^ (but it still fits the male emo stereotype)

[Guest 2892Bandie]

try picture yourself and your life in like 10 years, how do you see yourself/life ?

I can see where that can help. I am so unsure about everything though. It is so overwhelming to figure out what your feeling.

I don't know what to think.

Then there is the parent issue but i can't figure it out! so frustrating.

[Guest Rika-chama]

Cringing at female pronouns is a pretty good sign. I know some girls who sound like you but are not TG because they are comfortable being called girls. Me, the very idea of someone calling me a girl or thinking of me as a girl just gets me so mad. I don't feel like a boy because I do boy things (and really compared to most men I'm kinda girly) but because the idea of being a man and having a man's body sounds so much better. See unlike you when growing up girly things didn't really bother me until about 2 years ago. I still know I am a boy though. Figuring out who you are may take some time but you will figure it all out one day

Ni-paa~

[Guest harvester52]

Again, the pronouns are a big clue. I get so disgusted when somebody calls me female, or especially when somebody uses my legal name. It grosses me out, almost. That was a big clue to me that I am trans.