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Guest Cynthia Of Creation

Transgender And You

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Guest Afaye

I served, flew, bombed, and was aware of my gender long before that. I wish I could have transitioned while serving but we all know how that would have turned out. I graduated from the Air Force Academy and to transition would have totally shocked my peers into oblivion! LOL! The few I have been in contact with have stopped talking to me so their loss. I sent two emails telling everyone I know as a friend and family what I intend to do and no one replied.

Guess I got disowned? Or did I pwn them! LOL!


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Guest CarolynM

Never felt uncomfortable about wearing female clothes but there again I never advertised my orientation. I never let my orientation get in the way of my job but during MY time that was and still is MY time. Perhaps I have been lucky and been supported by my friends and family.

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I knew I was a female at age 5 and was referred to a psychologist a year later. That was a disaster for me as it was 1961 and my psychologist was typical of the times. At around 12 years old in the middle of transistioning during puberty, I had a mini breakdown and tried self castration as a means of stopping puberty into a young male. That bought me a trip to the ER and referral to a psychiatrist. She just taught me to bury my feelings. I entered the Army straight out of High School to try and prove to myself I was a man instead of a woman. That didn't work and I took a referral to an Army psychiatrist who was on 90 day Active Duty. I took a big chance and talked to him honestly. I was severely depressed and suicidal. He helped me deal with my depression and helped to convince me that suicide wasn't the answer. Shortly after leaving the military, I went to school, met my wife and after 2 kids, kept my feelings buried. I can't do it anymore. If I could have come out in the Army without fear of a bad conduct discharge, I may have lived a different life. Now, I'm getting divorced and am no longer willing to put my feelings on hold because of family, friends and society's disapproval. I'm on my way transitioning into the woman that I want to live as. I've put my feelings on hold for parents growing up, the military, the family and finally the former wife. I'm free finally to be me. Katheryn.

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Guest KarenLyn

I knew I was transsexual before I knew what transsexual was. I chose my name when I was 13. I joined the Marines when I was 17. I retired in January '95. I learned a lot in the military but I only learned to pretend to be a man.

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    • Noel L.
      Be who you really are, find that. I can't relate in your scenario, I'm 15 and MTF, but if your husband really loves you, and cares, then he should have no problem with transitioning. Neither should your kids. Just be honest.
    • CyndiRae
      Resist, resist, resist 😋
    • Charlize
      You look great now but right after the operation it looks like you got into a bad fight.  even so you look very female.    I know that as an addict i have to be very careful with painkillers.     Congratulations!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Charlize
      It's lovely to see you again Cindy but even better to heart your doing so well.     Hugs,   Charlize
    • tracy_j
      It's nice to hear good news from you Cindy.   Good luck with your studies and career.   Tracy
    • tracy_j
      Hi Ezra,   Welcome to the forum. Please feel free to read, write and generally join in. There are many friendly people here with a wealth of experience. Take you time to understand where you sit and where you may be going. Understanding yourself is a big step, and takes time. Being in the right atmospere helps. The gender spectrum is wide and people can sit anywhere on it or even move around. In your teens epecially, you are finding your place in the world, but gender wise there are many here of all ages with your feelings. It's good to question. Far better than living in sadness wondering what if!   It's nice to have you here   Tracy
    • tracy_j
      Congratulations Marcie! Just live your life and the world will roll on. No-one will expect anything different so they are not looking for it.   Tracy
    • Ezra
      Hey. I'm Ezra. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to put this intro, but I felt the need to go in depth about my story.   I'm 17 years old, AFAB, and have been questioning since age 12. I remember the exact day it hit me that I might be transgender. I, like a lot of preteens, went through an edgy phase of writing stories and making up various characters for said stories. Something that remained consistent with me, however, is that all the protagonists of my stories, all the characters that I made and focused on the most, were male. I remember drawing all of them, thinking about them, detailing them and writing them out, and I rarely incorporated female characters into my writing or art, and when I did, they were two dimensional; I never put much thought into them.   It was one day when I was thinking of a pose to draw one of my male characters in, and I found myself emulating that pose in real life. I just shifted my posture to fit the stance I was thinking of in my head. And that's when I realized: I'm not making all of these male characters because I think they're attractive or cool or anything, I'm making them because I want to be them. These male characters were idealized versions of myself; I wanted to be the characters I drew so much. That's what started this whole spiral of questioning.   I started thinking about getting short hair, wearing more androgynous clothing (already, my entire life, I loathed skirts and dresses. I stuck to shorts, jeans, and T-shirts), even changing my name. In my freshman year of high school, I crossdressed for the first time. I already have pretty tiny boobs, so I was able to look mostly flat chested with just a sports bra, so I threw one of those on, stuffed my hair into a beanie, buttoned up a flannel and put on jeans. Then I looked at myself in the mirror.   I almost started crying. The happiness, the exhilaration I felt at seeing myself this way was indescribable. My curves were gone, my jawline looked sharper without the long hair falling down the back of my neck, and I just looked so... good, so much better than how I had ever seen myself before. I sent a picture of myself to my friend, and she was shocked; she kept telling me how good I looked, even asked if I could crossdress and go to the mall with her to be her date - which, looking back on it, probably wasn't the best response, but I took it as a very high compliment.   I continued to have these feelings throughout high school, and in junior year, I cut my hair boy short, and it helped immensely with my self esteem. I felt so much more myself; with long hair, I always felt like I was in drag, but after that I felt like I was actually me. And so now, here I am; about to go into college, still questioning since that day I realized I was relating to these fictional guys,  and becoming more open about who I am. That's why I chose to register on this forum. I want to explore my masculine identity; I'm not sure if I'm entirely FtM, but I do think I'm probably androgyne, or transmasculine. I just ask that I be referred to with he/him pronouns.   I'm not out to anyone in real life yet. I know most people in my life would probably be okay with me, but this is such a big thing to comprehend about myself, and I'm so uncertain; I don't know if I'm just a girl with an unusually strong connection to her masculine side, or if I really am a man; or if I'm somewhere in between.    I just hope that I'm discerning myself correctly, and I'm not just mistaking being a tomboy for being a real man.    But, yeah, so that's me.
    • jae bear
      That is so awesome, I am so jealous, I’m only just now starting to plan some basic wardrobe changes. I look forward to the day when I can be in your situation and worry about the same things, being just one of the girls must be an amazing thing, I can’t wait to get there myself but I’m very jealous of you right now! Hugs, Jae
    • jae bear
      Well, two things to report, I finished reading Jenny Boylan’s book she’s not there, fantastic by the way if you haven’t read it pick up a copy. And I am just now tickling the 200 pound mark, I should dip down into the 199.9 or sub category any day now, I’m glad I only bought two pairs of pants because they’re going to be too big faster than I realized, I just put together two garbage bags full of clothes I can’t wear anymore that I have to take down to the donation center. Hugs, Jae
    • Carolyn Marie
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    • VickySGV
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    • ZaharaWolf
      Sporadic signed it cause he was the one who technically made it? but i know computers well enough that i helped him. sorry if it seems confusing
      (sporadic is another part of the system that i am a part of)
      ^^DID related^^
    • ZaharaWolf
      I recently made a meme about the brainwashing that is done by the government, i feel like it gets right to the point with out really needing to explain it
    • Rachael
      It’s good to hear that you are recovering. Keep smiling. 
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