Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

If Your Interested In The Recovery(Aa/na) Chat Room


Michelle 2010

Recommended Posts

!2 step programs have a few rules (as much as alcoholics and addicts don't like rules, lol) that one needs to know. Not many, but a few. Here's three to start with that help make a good meeting.

Tradition 3: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. Simple, huh? Anyone can join but if the desire isn't there it won't work.

Participants offer their personal experience strength and hope on the topic or subject. Its not a debate club . As long as one is speaking from personal perspective they're not wrong. No crosstalk. That means we don't comment on, rebuke, rebut what others say. No one should fear being criticized in a meeting. We're all addict/alcoholics looking for a solution. And what is meaningful for one may be less so for another but thats quite ok.

Don't let fear of god, anger with god or a lack of belief in god bar you from attending. The only thing I had to accept about god when I entered AA was that I wasn't god. I tried to play god in my own life and it didn't work. Drugs and alcohol are stronger than I am. I needed something stronger than myself. Its ok to find that power on the journey. Many successful recovering addicts believe god speaks thru the people in the rooms.

I'll post a few more soon.

If you have questions, its ok to pm or post them here.

If you're not sure you want what recovery offers, read the topic called "The Promises". If that is what you want, you're in the right place. If it holds no interest, this may not be for you. A good meeting can consist of 2 people keeping each other sober or it can have 100.

Huggs

Michelle

Link to comment
  • Replies 72
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Charlize

    27

  • Michelle 2010

    9

  • VickySGV

    6

  • Timber Wolf

    3

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

Guest Emily Ray

I want to thank you for bringing this idea up. I haven't been able to attend any meetings since I came home and while I am not in any danger of using I do miss them and what they bring to my life.

Huggs,

Emily

Link to comment

I want to thank you for bringing this idea up. I haven't been able to attend any meetings since I came home and while I am not in any danger of using I do miss them and what they bring to my life.

Huggs,

Emily

In 6 years of good sobriety I never was able to talk about feeling different because of trans issues. I came out to my sponsor this summer and it was liberating! All alcoholics and addicts I've known feel different than earthlings, but as trans folk I think its much more of a core issue than the garden variety alcoholic can know smile.gif

Link to comment
Guest Emily Ray

I think this can in a way work to our advantage in dealing with our addictions. When I was in treatment this last time I realized I had a pupose and direction for my imediate future that was above and beyond just staying clean. It has made staying clean easier because using no longer fits into my life or the dreams I have for it. As I came to know a greater number of people with long term sobriety I have noticed they mostly have a passion for something besides staying clean.

Huggs,

Emily

Link to comment

I think this can in a way work to our advantage in dealing with our addictions. When I was in treatment this last time I realized I had a pupose and direction for my imediate future that was above and beyond just staying clean. It has made staying clean easier because using no longer fits into my life or the dreams I have for it. As I came to know a greater number of people with long term sobriety I have noticed they mostly have a passion for something besides staying clean.

Huggs,

Emily

Part of that passion for those who continue to practice the steps is the act of helping others. But as you say, theres more. A friend found himself joining a mens choir. His untapped gift was singing and he discovered it in sobrietysmile.gif

Michelle

Link to comment

Another thing to bring to a meeting is H-O-W: Honesty,Openness, and Willingness. Since the 1st step is the most important we must honestly decide if we are powerless over our addictions. This may be known before ever going to a meeting or may be learned by going to meetings. If I stop using do I stay stopped? If I use, do I have the ability to stop when I want, i.e., walk away from the substance? If the answer to either or both is no, it may indicate a problem...

The second half of the 1st Step regards Unmanageability. Is my life unmanageable... To answer that question it not only helps to look at current pain or despair, but also look back at people places and things. How was I treated? was life fair? The reality is those are not the real questions. The primary question is .. how do we handle what life has given us. I remember being afraid in kindergarten. I didn't handle it well. I remember teacher and adults saying things that I took as criticism which may have been meant well. I didn't manage my feelings and sensitivities well. I remember as a youth having strange urges to put on clothes of the opposite sex. This resulted in shame or fear. The reality is that the events that brought me to recovery were only the final events of unmanageability. The reality is that the disease of addiction deluded me into believing life was manageable when in reality it rarely was. Substances allowed me to believe everything was ok.

The good news is that there is a solution. Life does not need to feel unmanageable. Dealing with life on life's terms is what Recovery from addiction is about. Thats what The Promises describe. smile.gif

Huggs

Michelle

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 8 months later...
  • 2 months later...

A little over 3 months sober here and facing some of the crazyness I hear about at AA meetings. Dealing with my lifelong cross dressing and the stuff that goes with it will have to be part of my recovery. I look forward to Sun night to participate in the meetinmgs here Is that 9:00 eastern time?

thanks. rita

Link to comment
  • Admin

The meetings ARE HAPPENING at 9:00PM US Eastern time in the Substance Abuse AA/NA Chat Room. Its always great to have new folks there.

Welcome to Laura's here, and up your post count by going over to the Introductions Forum. Do be sure that you read the Rules and Guidelines, also accessible through the Terms & Conditions link in the lowest right hand page corner of any forum. The site here is PG13 or mellower since we do have younger posters who can read these messages too.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

Alexx,

You might want to PM a chat mod to get an answer on when and how. That way you don't feel like you are getting missed or forgotten in this tiny thread on a big board Threads like this sometimes get missed by the person with the answer. I don't know the answer, but a chat mod would.

:)

Link to comment

Yes they occur every Sunday at 9:00 EST. I have been there every week for a year with the exception of a handful of times. Another experienced forum mod regularly attends and has moderated when I have been away. Participation varies from 3-6 at any time. Subjects, as with any recovery based group, can vary from the specific use of substances to how we live life on life's terms without ingesting substances. Relatives relationships resentments...fear, fashion, fun...its all fair game if it has to do with living clean and sober. We are not a formatted 12 step group although there is sometimes discussion of steps or the principles of living a satisfying and enjoyable life based on that philosophy. All are welcome, and not all are clean, though we insist on basic manners and courtesy. No one is treated like an outsider and no one has to say anything unless they want to. Check it out if curious...

ODAAT

Michelle

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • Forum Moderator

thanks for bringing this up. i will try to attend this meeting. The present Grapevine deals with online groups. One in which others share my problems is great. I have 5 years of sobriety thanks to the AA program and the grace of God. For several years I gave up my fem self as I had only been able to come out with dutch courage. I finally went to a women's meeting where I was accepted and 3 years later I'm getting much stronger about being me. Hope to be there Sunday, charlie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Some Sunday I hope to make it. I tried but can't get my mac to download the seemingly required software to enter the chat rooms. That certainly seems a better forum for a meeting but I am accepting that this is as far as I will get this day. It's like all the rest, not up to me. Love, Charlie

Link to comment
  • Admin

I have been having trouble with the Java program on a PC as well. Not sure what the conflicts are. Sorry you could't make it today.

Link to comment
Guest Jan Jane

Hi... new to this website and new to admitting a half century in "the closet" crossdressing but almost 24 years in AA/NA. One fear I had was the issues in 12 step meeting with people who knew me as "that other person". Finding support here is like coming home. Thank you. Jan Jane

Link to comment
  • Admin

Hi Jan Jane:

Congratulations on the 24 years C&S, I never made it that far on my first sobriety spell, and yes, it was the GD that bleeped up my record at about 17 or 18 years on my first trip up the stairs. It was sobriety for a second run that got me into care for my GD, and ended up getting all of my transition paperwork in order. One of the things those of us who both post here the most frequently and take part in the Sunday Chat over in the Chat Rooms agree on is that not making our Trans issues part of our recovery lives is a good way to take a dive back into bottle, glass or can. Our Sunday chats take place at 9:00 PM Eastern Time which I am guessing is 8:00pm your time and cover both Trans issues and addiction issues, as well as some of the humor that only people in recovery would understand, or tell!! Its fun and has a spin on it that we don't get in our home town based AA meetings.

Since this was post number one for you, I would like to invite you to also make a post over in the main Introductions Forum as well since that is where the non-alky types will meet you the quickest. Also, please read the Terms & Conditions which you can access from the lowest right hand corner of any of the forums. The same stuff is in the Rules & Guidelines at the top of the General Forums group. We do moderate all of the posts by members since we have young people posting here too, and we keep stuff to where their parents can read it over their shoulders, and we use the Terms & Conditions for doing our moderation. You can post new topics in any forum except the Teens Forum, since it is limited to folks age 13 to 24, but you can reply to posts in any forum, including the teens. Good to have you with us.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Aa and recovery has been the best forum for me to come out. I go to a gay group every Friday. I can be myself there and be with other people trying to help them through their stuff and not worrying about mine. After a few years there I came out to my home group. First verbally to members other than my sponsor then speaking and taking questions and sharing at an open meeting. I had to ask the group if they could accept a chairperson as they had elected a chairman. My transition continues on a slow path but it is so nice to be myself with other accepting people. The closet never had any people to love me and for me to love.

Hugs Charlie

ps I still can't get Java, what a pain

Link to comment
Guest rita63

Hello Jan Jane, and Charlie sorry you missed last week. Hope to meet you both this week. I got a ride home from my trans support meeting from the lady who founded it 20 years ago and makes a living advocating for trans people. She said that in her experience most AA groups are fairly tolerant of trans people. Most take the third tradition seiously all you need to join is a desire to get sober. I know of several gay people at meetings I go to and we had an obviouse androgyne at one last week. Some of the old pure AA members don't like "druggies" but most are accepted as people trying to deal with their addictions. Since the stress of being trans can lead to substance abuse AA is a good fit for all addicts. Discusssion at AA meetings is usually limited to problems with Alchoal or drugs not gender issues. The joy of the Sunday group is you can discuss both and share your joys and your sorrows and relax and get a smile on your face. Fellowship is what its about and we all need that.

hugs rita

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thanks Rita, I'm still trying to make it on Sunday. I got Java on my machine but so far the site hasn't recognized it. Hopefully....

I have had a very similar reaction at AA meetings. I had given up going out after I stopped drinking. My sponsor didn't have any problem with this part of me but I had such a relationship with alcohol I was afraid that if I went out the only thing I could do was to go to a bar. I had felt comfortable there. I finally went to a women's meeting. Topic was honesty... I left it up to my higher power and was honest. Acceptance... I had a dinner date with a sweet woman that night and was able to be honest and sober!

Fast forward. I came out to my home group a month ago as the speaker, (I'm the chairperson). Many people who I have known for years didn't recognize me for a long time. I had told many over months of time and then just gave it away again. Fears were unfounded and the love and understanding was intense. I now chair as a women. And have been accepted by the women's "group". I still have to be careful in helping newcomer women as I am a lesbian.

I hope to get there on Sunday if my machine (a Mac with ox lion) will let me.

Hugs and understanding,Charlie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I finally made the Sunday 9:00 meeting. Thanks..... what a great site. It was worth working through the java problem.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It was great to meet you rita and helping a young newcomer as well couldn't ask for more. hope to make the meeting a habit!

Charlie

Link to comment
Guest Lauren~

Do any of you come to a resolution to stop this thinking about sex-change stuff and throw away all your clothes and stuff that are related to it. Only to drink a whole bunch one night then go back to wanting to do the trasitioning again.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 178 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
    • MaryEllen
    • Carolyn Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...