Jump to content


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Betsumei

Hello everyone

Recommended Posts

Guest Betsumei

It’s kind of embarrassing that, at age 26, I find myself realizing that the identity I’ve known and had for my entire life is wrong. It’s embarrassing because, in hindsight, I must be a complete idiot not to’ve figured it out sooner.

My earliest memory is of visiting a relative’s house and getting in trouble. What did I do? I tried to get into mommy’s nail polish.

Who was my social circle growing up? Hmm, I never quite fit in with the guys… Most of the time I hung out with the girls. I never understood quite why they wouldn’t always let me hang out with them. Wasn’t I part of the group? But no, I wasn’t conforming. Guys drove me nuts (and not in a good way), but girls couldn’t accept me as one of them. Probably because I was identifying as cis male at the time. If I’d simply been a gay cis male, that probably would have made things much easier. I’ve heard that girls are happy to have gay guys in their group. A trans female lesbian who still hasn’t figured it out? Not so much.

So, now that I’ve finally, finally figured out who I am, life should be pretty good, ja? Nein. I’ve gone and dragged other people into my life, and I care too much to ruin their lives by selfishly turning myself around. Can I risk getting my kids bullied in school? Nope. Can I risk my wife losing interest because she’s a hetero cis woman? I’d rather not, she’s a hottie and a sweetheart to boot! So, what’s a girl (more or less) to do?

Share this post

Link to post
Carolyn Marie

Welcome to the Playground, Betsumei. There are certainly lots of members here who have felt the exact same things you have, including the fears about spouse and kids. I went through it, with a then-17 year old son.

If you want to pursue this whole thing, then a gender therapist is in your future. But in the meantime, please make yourself at home here, look around the forums, post whateer questions come to mind, and we'll do our best to answer honestly. I do ask all our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they are used to keep the site safe for all.


Carolyn Marie

Share this post

Link to post
Guest angels wings

Heyyyyyy welcome Betsuemei gd to have u here :)

I met ur wonderful wife :) you both do have a journey ahead but it's not impossible .

You are no idiot u are you . My partner took her a long time too after 18 yrs of marriage I was to hear the most surprising news I have ever heard . It's a shock but we travel this journey together never loosing the reminder of why we love each other . We are here for you and your wife . My partner is here too. Laura's has helped us so much . Knowledge shifts fear . There is alot to learn and reading other people's posts u will be inspired .

Welcome :)

Share this post

Link to post

Hello Betsumei,

Welcome to Laura's Playground! Here's a place where nobody can criticise anyone else's faults - we've all made our share of false moves trying to find our way.

It took me over twice as long to get it as you - came out around the age of 60? Not the brightest star in the heavens, but, I'm making up for lost time!

So, take your time - get an idea of what you need to make your life better - and let us know how we can help!

Hope to see you around...

Love, Megan

Share this post

Link to post

Welcome from another late bloomer in bloomers. Its not an easy path but laura's helps. I can talk to others here. Sharing the ups and downs and get advice. Glad your wife is here as well.

Hugs, Charlie

Share this post

Link to post
Guest miss kindheart

Hi Betsuemei,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

Share this post

Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 18 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryMary
    • Charlize
    • Ravin
    • MaryEllen
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Posts

    • TessaOKC
      Mine were painful for about eighteen months. Three years on hrt I can still function and have no pain at all. The fact you are in pain for a few days after is a red flag for me. Also, I have never read that estrogen or progesterone drops T levels. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this but I think you need to do some serious research. Best of luck....
    • Gwen
      I'm almost embarrassed to report that my favorite trucks have been Toyota Tacoma pickups - I've owned two, both white! Although I did own a 67' Chevy Carryall once that was a gas guzzler but lots of fun to drive.  I bought it from a school system and it was school-bus yellow I'm surrounded by farmers who all have the latest pickups. I envy them all!   Gwen
    • tracy_j
      That's great news Gwen   Tracy
    • tracy_j
      Good luck Amanda.   I had a friend for many years. As I changed he became very touchy and, particuarly,  toward the middle of last year, very trans and homo phobic. I think it was his other friends. He had worried about how other people would react with him from the very beginning (in fact has always been concerned at anything which could taint him as unusual). To me it seems like insecurety, but the break came when his other friends started winding him up, saying that we were an item. He finally snapped and lost his temper ridiculing the clothes I wore.   At that point I decided I had had enough and could not put up with the abuse any longer. I walked and have heard nothing from him since.   Tracy
    • tracy_j
      The little cars I have had had would be almost invisible next to these   I did like the look of a Dodge some time back, but totally impractical for me. Even the garage is too small for anything other than a car.   Lovely photo Charlize x  
    • Melisa snep
      i just got a chevy 3500  6.5 diesel. I some times randomly bring cars home, opps lol  Least now i can tow them.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/15/dozens-transgender-volunteers-seek-join-military-since-jan-1/1030185001/   Carolyn Marie
    • ZombieDracula
      It's always wonderful when things go better than expected. Happy for you   ~ ZD/Rikki ~
    • Jennifer W
      My current truck is a 14 Chevy Silverado crewcab 4wd that I love. Many adventures ahead!
    • Rachael
      Great news. It's nice to have things turn out better than you expected. 
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Upcoming Events

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • TransPulse Partners