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Guest Betsumei

Hello everyone

7 posts in this topic

It’s kind of embarrassing that, at age 26, I find myself realizing that the identity I’ve known and had for my entire life is wrong. It’s embarrassing because, in hindsight, I must be a complete idiot not to’ve figured it out sooner.

My earliest memory is of visiting a relative’s house and getting in trouble. What did I do? I tried to get into mommy’s nail polish.

Who was my social circle growing up? Hmm, I never quite fit in with the guys… Most of the time I hung out with the girls. I never understood quite why they wouldn’t always let me hang out with them. Wasn’t I part of the group? But no, I wasn’t conforming. Guys drove me nuts (and not in a good way), but girls couldn’t accept me as one of them. Probably because I was identifying as cis male at the time. If I’d simply been a gay cis male, that probably would have made things much easier. I’ve heard that girls are happy to have gay guys in their group. A trans female lesbian who still hasn’t figured it out? Not so much.

So, now that I’ve finally, finally figured out who I am, life should be pretty good, ja? Nein. I’ve gone and dragged other people into my life, and I care too much to ruin their lives by selfishly turning myself around. Can I risk getting my kids bullied in school? Nope. Can I risk my wife losing interest because she’s a hetero cis woman? I’d rather not, she’s a hottie and a sweetheart to boot! So, what’s a girl (more or less) to do?

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Welcome to the Playground, Betsumei. There are certainly lots of members here who have felt the exact same things you have, including the fears about spouse and kids. I went through it, with a then-17 year old son.

If you want to pursue this whole thing, then a gender therapist is in your future. But in the meantime, please make yourself at home here, look around the forums, post whateer questions come to mind, and we'll do our best to answer honestly. I do ask all our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they are used to keep the site safe for all.


Carolyn Marie

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Heyyyyyy welcome Betsuemei gd to have u here :)

I met ur wonderful wife :) you both do have a journey ahead but it's not impossible .

You are no idiot u are you . My partner took her a long time too after 18 yrs of marriage I was to hear the most surprising news I have ever heard . It's a shock but we travel this journey together never loosing the reminder of why we love each other . We are here for you and your wife . My partner is here too. Laura's has helped us so much . Knowledge shifts fear . There is alot to learn and reading other people's posts u will be inspired .

Welcome :)

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Hello Betsumei,

Welcome to Laura's Playground! Here's a place where nobody can criticise anyone else's faults - we've all made our share of false moves trying to find our way.

It took me over twice as long to get it as you - came out around the age of 60? Not the brightest star in the heavens, but, I'm making up for lost time!

So, take your time - get an idea of what you need to make your life better - and let us know how we can help!

Hope to see you around...

Love, Megan

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Welcome from another late bloomer in bloomers. Its not an easy path but laura's helps. I can talk to others here. Sharing the ups and downs and get advice. Glad your wife is here as well.

Hugs, Charlie

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Hi Betsuemei,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

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