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Guest Guitargodess214

A Beautiful Stranger (The Me I've Always Known)

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Guest Guitargodess214

Sitting silent with the moon illuminating my still body,

I feel the wind blowing softly through my hair,

I look up into the eyes of a beautiful stranger,

A person I have always known,

for I am her and she is me

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Charlize

and is no stranger.

Hugs,

Charlie

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Guest miss kindheart

I am her and she is me

Together she and me will be

Always true never blue

We will never be untrue

Yes we are just like a star

Our true beauty will go far

So you see her inside me

A pretty girl I shall be

:wub: vanna

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Guest Jennifer T

We are she

And she is me

Peace

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    • lauraincolumbia
      I agree with ShawnaLeigh, you should see a gender therapist to help you figure things out. I do recommend a gender therapist, as I've been seeing a regular therapist for several years, but still have many open questions.  Its a question of focus, rather than competence....
    • MaryMary
      You know what's funny? I have so much dysphoria that I feel I look ugly. So probably I could say the same thing if you share an image.
    • ShawnaLeigh
      So I had this conversation with my therapist about this question and told him it bothers me considering my given name as a Dead Name.  A name that represents who I was practically my entire life and the persona of my life's experience and knowledge.  I feel like says its my Dead Name signifies I am killing that part of myself off. To me anyways.  A part I still like to some degree.  A part I need to help the women inside bloom and grow and be strong when times are tough and believe me times are tough for me lately. I prefer to call my male persona name a Birth Name.  Simply that's what it is.  A name given to me at birth by my parents. Plus there is no killing. LOL   I love to fact I get to choose my own female name.  Anything I want.   However I made a significant observation the other day. I have been signing my name as Shawna my whole life.  Signing anything legal or checks or whatever.  I always signed my name first name, middle initial, last name that all bunched together in a scribing mess.  However Shawn A. is what you would see before it turned into a scribe towards my last name.  LOL Like I have been telling myself my whole life who I am inside. Or I just reading into it to much.  LOL    
    • ShawnaLeigh
      This is great news.  It seems given enough time most people will come around or at least understand.  
    • ShawnaLeigh
      I'm transitioning MTF and I still love to hunt, fish, icefish, go camping, get muddy on my ATV, shooting archery and guns.    So yes.  If you still like female typical interests you can be a guy. Why not? JMO
    • lauraincolumbia
      Congrats Astrid!   Fenway?  I used to know a girl that worked at Fenway.  Unfortunately, she passed away, but I never heard from what.
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Well I'm still in my confusion/discovery part of myself so I am hesitant to lay a label on anyone.  I can see you feel a lot like I do/did in my earlier years.  Born male and being attracted to females was a big thing for me because I felt female inside but played my male role my entire life.   I'm going toward transitioning to female just now at age 52, in the early stages still, though I am still only attracted to women even though I am becoming one myself. Having a strong sexual connection to your confusion is not uncommon.  It is a sexual change you desire it sounds like.  Going from one sex to the other is a sexual change and it is not unreasonable to feel sexual stimulation when contemplating it or acting on it.  JMO Saying that you are bisexual reinforces this to me. All I can suggest is what I was told and that is to try and see a gender therapist and see what he/she says.  I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have meaning and I am valid.  Not broken or need to be fixed. 
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Hello and welcome to our family! Great place you found..
    • KymmieL
      That is so cute. Looks great on you. Love the smile too. I wish I looked half as good as you do.   Kymmie
    • Jani
      First congratulations on the doctor change and getting T.  I can see you are excited.     As to your spouse, he loves you and the life you have together and doesn't want it to end but he's afraid.  The best thing now it to continue talking.  I think it is harder for men to come to terms with this as society is so masculine-centric.  I don't know what the answer is other than it will work out one way or another.  Possibly if you lived in a different state (or locality) that was more open and accepting things would be different.  Keep talking. Jani  
    • Jani
      Greetings!!  I'm glad you're here. Jani
    • Jani
      Hello Astrid.  I'm glad to see you found Fenway to be a good resource.  I also go there.  It seems you have a good plan laid out.  The only negative I had with Spiro was having to urinate frequently but the body adjusts and soon things are bak to somewhat normal.  I also started with low dose patches as I wanted to see how it was effected by my other meds.  I found no issue at all.  From those I've spoken with who stayed on lose dose long term, its done what they wanted and calmed the noise in their heads.  I think this may be good for you.  Jani
    • Aidan5
      Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice
    • Krisvm
      Glad things are getting better. Hope they continue.   Love and hugs,   Kris
    • NB Adult
      It does work well with the shape of your face and my goodness, what a nice looking guy!
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