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A Haiku


Guest Guitargodess214

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    • Heathick
      I know I'm getting WAY ahead of myself with this at this point, but I'm the ultra-ultra-cautious type: I have issues even starting down any road where I don't feel I already fully understand the destination.   For cis-males, the "glans" ("head") has a particular extra-sensitivity that is not always entirely pleasant. It tends to be more the shaft's erectile tissue and the foreskin that are the big genital erogenous zones, not so much the glans. But, AIUI, for typical penile inversion vagiplasty, all the exterior portion of the erectile tissue is removed, and the neo-clitoris is formed from a portion of the glans.   But since the clitoris tends to be the main female genital erogenous zone, rather than the canal, (or at least for cis-females anyway???), that makes me worry: Does that mean that the post-SRS sexual experience for M2Fs is limited to the awkward sensation of rubbing the male glans?  Or does HRT change things somehow?
    • Heathick
      I had a little bit of a theoretical panic just thinking today. I know that one of my favorite things about women's clothing is the possibility of strappy, shoulderless tops. I hate collars and sleeves, even short sleeves, and (in private) absolutely love the freedom of low-cut, shoulder-less spaghetti-strap tops. (Such as my favorite nightie!)   But I'm close to 40, I went through full male puberty, and I'm a bit on the large side even by "guy" standards. Obviously, FFS and SRS (and presumably HRT) aren't going to have any effect on masculine "broad shoulders".   So, are tops like this something that are just a fashion no-no for people like us, or is there any hope?
    • Heathick
      Wow! I think that's incredibly cool!   There's a part of me that always wished I could discover that I was born some form of genetic intersex, because I felt that would give me a perfect excuse to embrace and embody the femininity I desired.   But in any case. I've always been fascinated by, and drawn to anything nontraditional-sex/gender related. So I sincerely hope i''m not crossing any uncomfortable lines, but FWIW, I for one think that's seriously cool!  Congrats!!!
    • Heathick
      If either my adult OR high school experience is anything to go by, a LOT of men are just stupid! (No offense intended to our F2M brothers, If you're even at the point of questioning, you're clearly highly evolved and enlightened if you ask me. And hey, it goes for just as many women, too.)   Seriously, from both an insider AND outsider point of view, I think masculinity is in desperate need of a similar "refresh" and "reawakening" as femininity got a few decades ago. In far too many cases, masculinity is still stuck in the same cro-magnon swamp that femininity was stuck in up until the 1960's.
    • Berni
      A book that truly allowed me to accept myself is Whipping Girl by Julia Serano.   Heres an excert:   In the years just prior to my transition, I started to express my femaleness as much as possible within the context of having a male body; I became a very androgynous queer boy in the eyes of the world. While it felt relieving to simply be myself, not to care about what other people thought of me, I still found myself grappling with a constant, compelling subconscious knowledge that I should be female rather than male. After twenty years of exploration and experimentation, I eventually reached the conclusion that my female subconscious sex had nothing to do with gender roles, femininity, or sexual expression—it was about the personal relationship I had with my own body. For me, the hardest part about being trans has not been the discrimination or ridicule that I have faced for defying societal gender norms, but rather the internal pain I experienced when my subconscious and conscious sexes were at odds with one another. I think this is best captured by the psychological term “cognitive dissonance,” which describes the mental tension and stress that occur in a person’s mind when they find themselves holding two contradictory thoughts or views simultaneously—in this case, subconsciously seeing myself as female while consciously dealing with the fact that I was male. This gender dissonance can manifest itself in a number of ways. Sometimes it felt like stress or anxiousness, which led to marathon battles with insomnia. Other times, it surfaced as jealousy or anger at other people who seemed to enjoy taking their gender for granted. But most of all, it felt like sadness to me—a sort of gender sadness—a chronic and persistent grief over the fact that I felt so wrong in my body.   ...   Unlike most forms of sadness that I’ve experienced, which inevitably ease with time, my gender dissonance only got worse with each passing day. And by the time I made the decision to transition, my gender dissonance had gotten so bad that it completely consumed me; it hurt more than any pain, physical or emotional, that I had ever experienced. I know that most people believe that transsexuals transition because we want to be the other sex, but that is an oversimplification. After all, I wanted to be female almost my whole life, but I was far too terrified of the label “transsexual,” or of having potential regrets, to seriously consider transitioning. What changed during that twenty-some-year period was not my desire to be female, but rather my ability to cope with being male, to cope with my own gender dissonance. When I made the decision to transition, I honestly had no idea what it would be like for me to live as female. The only thing I knew for sure was that pretending to be male was slowly killing me.
    • Rat man
      cavetown and mother mother
    • Rat man
      Thankyou for being so nice I fine myself so thankful that people like you exist. I think I will reconsider or at least no self- harm as much. Thankyou your a great person.
    • Astrid
      Yayyyy! Wonderful  news!! 🙂💃It will be good to meet others who understand what you are experiencing.    More hugs,   Astrid 
    • Lee H
      It takes a modicum of intelligence to rise above stupidity....
    • Lee H
      In my book, growing into accepting myself as a woman doesn't require "rejecting my history of male-identification." That history is as much a part of me as the events unfolding now as I move further into transition. It's not a "zero sum gain" where I need to "reject" a huge part of my life story to substitute the part I'm starting and want to explore on into the future. We are the product of everything that has gone before, and the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It's who we are. I don't want to "reject" that. I want to add something new, open the door on a new but previously hidden part of who I am.   I don't want to do this all at once. I want to move into it gradually, learning as I go, savoring every day as a new experience unto itself, not just a "delay in getting there." And I want to remain the same person with the same loves, caring, ethics and values, same experiences, same everything except my gender. I want to be who I am becoming.   ~~With a hug from Lee~~
    • Berni
      Thankyou @Shay, @ElizabethStar and @Jacqui for your kind words. I felt really good today ... having one of those "I know I dont cis-pass but feel pretty anyway"  kind of days. Besides, I think some men are just stupid.   Elizabeth, the double-think involved in what you are going through sounds like hard work. Hopefully things will settle down soon.   And Shay, you too are such a gorgeous person. Take care.
    • Willow
      Hi,   well I had a psychologist appointment today.  New to me Dr (PhD). It went well.  It had been 18 months since my last therapy appointment.  We are going to meet every two weeks when possible.  I’ve been having some unusual bouts of depression lately and felt it was time to get back on the therapy train.     @Jacquii do all my own makeup. my hair is a wig because I am naturally bald.  As Willow I am much less conservative in my dress then I am otherwise.  I prefer bolder brighter colors.  Thanks for liking my earrings obviously I like them too.  I wore a dress today for my appointment.     its been quite a while since I was last misgendered but I probably just jinxed myself.  In fact I think it was my first time out as Willow which was a couple years ago.  My wife complains I have better legs, and that some of her tops look better on me.     @Emily michellehow did your foot get crushed?  I must have missed that.   Willow
    • Jacqui
      @Sally Stone, thanks for your good wishes and encouraging predictions!
    • KymmieL
      Erikka, Great news on you finally getting your name changed. Sorry about your long time friend abandoning you. I had a (thought) was a best friend. He decided to end our friendship of over 35yrs. So I just let him have it in a letter and unfriended him. He was the only one I came out to other than my wife and sons.   I figure that if he doesn't want my friendship the heck with him. I don't need his friendship.   Well worked with the new guy today. I don't really care for him. obnoxious, just don't care for him. Defiantly not going to come out around him.   Have a good evening everyone.   Kymmie
    • A. Dillon
      I am not making this topic for a political argument. I just wanted to start a thread for people to discuss their stance on the candidates and their platforms. The most important part of any democracy is informed voting, and I think it is important to have resources for trans people to know where each leader stands. Keep it civil, keep it factual, and keep an open mind. Now, let the discussion begin!
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