Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Judgemental


Guest Angelgrlsue

Recommended Posts

Guest Angelgrlsue

I am finding that many of my Christian brothers are more judgemental than non Christians. Everything went well this morning at Easter sunrise service until I went to my church Easter dinner. Me and my Christian sisters sat outside since it was a nice afternoon. The minute I stood up a Christian brother that was sitting behind us with his wife commented to her directly relating to me, "that is a man". I did not say anything and just prayed that the hurt would go away from what he said. He and his wife then moved quickly to another table. The next instance was at the same table when a family sat down behind us. Same thing, the husband commented to his wife and children that I was a man. So untrue. By this time I was ready to just run out of there and never to return to the church, but then that would be giving Satan power. I stayed until my Christian sister was ready to go. I am blind so she usually takes me to church and other places, she is such a blessing to me.

Angelgrlsue

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am sorry you experienced that. People can be so cruel. I don't think it is as much that they are Christian as that they have never read the Sermon on the Mount or perhaps that they have never seen how it fits in this days world. I'm glad you have the care of your sister.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest alexaz

Hi Angelgrlsue

I was raised in a very catholic family and most of my families friends were Christians/ Catholic.

As I grew I discovered a few things about people.

Not all that profess to be religious/christians are and some of those who profess to be non religious are like christians.

Im not saying that all people are hypocrites but some are.

I have known some "Christians" that were evil and have known non religious people who were saints.

Its not weather you go to a building and pray its whats in your heart and soul.

I gave up going to church many years ago and feel that I am a better christian now than when I went to church and was an alter boy every day. . I could go on and on with stories about both sides but think you can get my drift.

As long as you truly believe and walk your talk. You are what you say you are.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Alexaz

Link to comment
Guest noeleena

Hi,

I know I don't know all the details and who these people are so I,ll just relate form my own detail , I been involved with church groups for some 57 years and know many people so have a good understanding of what they belive and what not ,and yes I studied up their belief ,s and all ,

Plus I did study the bible and did other studies that back up whats written ,

Now no where in any writings in the bible does it say to reject people who are different infact it says to to love every one the same no matter what they wear or how they look now if the Lord has said we are to love others then why is it so hard for ...church members not to , well its what they have been taught and in many case,s wrongly because they are being controlled by those in charge or you do as I say or your gone , from the teachers.

now I know this from my time with in the last 4 years with two groups who wont accept myself because im different and been told so , and I have more right to be accepted because of how I was born and this has nothing to do with my clothes or what I wear ,

As an intersexed female and because I don't look female enough to pass or blend in as one they reject me as a person end of ,

they refuse to accept any one who is different , why because they don't know the Lord yet say they do and then teach we must love every one because Jesus told them to , right so im not loved or accepted because im not human okay so how come I was born at st Helens in Invercargill New Zealand , 67 y 8 months ago seems strange to me if im documented by the Govt departments and so on .

nope they refuse , you see they accept what they only wont to and throw the rest out to suit them selfs

Don't be concerned with these people don't let them control you because that's all they will do , some times these people are there to test us , and I have been , just I saw what was going on and just removed myself and went else where, quess what I have more friends over the last 9 years than I had in my early 58 years, and accepted as I am for who I am ,

Just think some times I see what I have gone through and it made me very strong and I had to be to go through what I did .

Don't let them break you , become a strong person ,

...noeleena...

Link to comment

Such a bummer that you were hurt at church, on Easter even. I need to keep it simple, so I refer to Jesus's 2 commandments: love the Lord your God with all your heart, Love your neighbor as yourself. I will add my own twist, using Stephen Covey's platinum rule: treat people as they would like to be treated. This is a significant departure from the golden rule for me, because for years I did not feel self love, yet wanted to be loving.

Meanness and backbiting have no proper place in spiritual life, but people are broken and imperfect, so let's pray that these 2 males will get a clue and that you will grow even stronger as a result!

So inspiring to hear from ladies that have had the courage to be themselves

Link to comment
Guest Angelgrlsue

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and support. I needed that so much. I saw my associate pastor today upon his request and we discussed on how I was doing relating to the cancer and recovery process of the three months of harsh chemo I had to endure. I praise God that he helped me through it too. I did not inform him about what happened on Easter, however he did want to discuss my gender identity. We discussed this in the past and his beliefs are different than mine and he flat out told me today that I am a man. Completely disrespectful and I just told him bluntly that I am a woman and was born as such. He does not understand or does not want to understand. I even informed him the GID is considered a birth defect. He still believes that God made me a male at birth and that is what I should remain as or in my case go back to. I told him that I would be going back as someone I am not and never will be. He is basing everything by genitalia, just like most of society does. I am just giving this all up to God.

Angelgrlsue

Link to comment
  • Admin

There are churches where you will be highly welcome, and where they recognize that your gender began long before birth. I have been assured in my meditations that I was known long before a doctor had the chance to see my anatomy and make the wrong decision about me. Isaiah was told by God that God knew him in his mother's womb. Samuel got rapped with the idea that God sees things men do not in His choosing people for things (King David in that case). It may well be time to do as the 70 people sent by Christ did when refused by a town or person, they shook the dust of the place off their feet and went on to a place where they would be received. I know that's a mishmash of scripture there, but its a take on it that helps us.

Link to comment

...He does not want to understand.

Angelgrlsue, you said it so well, if he chooses ignorance that is his problem

...I am just giving this all up to God.

Good move!

And like Vicky said, there are many accepting churches, finding one was a big first step on my path to transition. I get the feeling you are strong enough and stubborn enough to try to tough it out there, but I dont think i could handle it, and would need to move on.

May God bless you and keep you in perfect peace!

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
Guest Razilee

This reminds me of my arrest on my first venture out en femme. The police seemed both confused and threatened by my presentation. These men may have felt that they were protecting their wife, their family, but I suspect that they are also protecting their own gender identity. It's sad that as Christians we can't all be free of the temptation to judge, but if the temptation was not within us Jesus would not have warned us not to judge, lest we be judged.

Re-watching an old "All in the Family'' episode, I saw that Edith also was tempted to not to return to church after the Bunkers' friend Beverley was killed for being ''different''. The issues that the show tried to deal with then are with us still! ""Vive la difference.''

Love :wub:

Raz

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It has been my experience through my travels in the community (via my job) through multiple faiths that most people are caring and considerate whether they like what I am or not. I think we always hear the one voice in the crowd but there are many others who perhaps say little but who are caring people. Don't be put off - just smile and think of their obsolescence

Tracy

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 118 Guests (See full list)

    • MaeBe
    • Ashley0616
    • Timber Wolf
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...