how to become more like Marc Bolan

[Guest Syd_UK]

in each day... in every way.. i am becoming more like Marc Bolan... more like Marc Bolan... more like Marc Bolan...

so i thought i would make a topic here to post some of my incessant witterings on about myself. i am rather self obsessed you might have noticed and life for me is one long struggle to function on this strange and amazing planet we call Earth.

i am completely in love with an old friend of mine who isnt talking to me at the moment and my dearest wish in life is for him to look at me and think that he has never seen anyone more magnificent. i dont even want to be with him romantically any more.. well, ok, i do... but he's got a wife and is about 70 years old. not that his age bothers me too much as he has always been stunningly beautiful, the most beautiful man in the world infact, and this seems to still be the case to my extreme annoyance.

so to this end i am trying to make myself into.. myself. the way i look inside isnt how i look outside. i am a man !!!!, yes a rather camp man at times, but i will not be denied my natural er.. buffness.

this is going to be a rather long drawn out and tedious process with many frustrations along the way. i realised i was a man in december of last year after about 30 years of extreme confusion about my identity. i have seemed to have finished the bulk of the crying in frustration about it, and now am onto the process of sorting my life out in the physical world.

i seem to have some sort of talent in art and music which is often the case with the mentally ill. so i want to try and pursue this. i dont seem to be able to do much else to be honest. practical matters elude me completely.

but i want to do this slowly and enjoy it i have found huge inspiration from people on this site and very much enjoy reading about the experiences of people here. <3

so to this end i have a list of things to do each day. i have to write everything down in any case, even things like "use loo and wash hands" but i also incorprate various healing techniques and nutrition. for me its a good day if i manage to do any housework at all and if i could just stop talking, crying or singing along to music for 5 minutes i might actually get something done around here.

anyway. i will attatch a photo of how i look at the moment. this is me smoking a rollup which is something i do rather alot in between angry ranting. i have had to reduce the quality of it to get it under 60KB but i can assure you that if it was high quality my handsomeness would evaporate the entire internet.

[Guest Syd_UK]

well. it is day 2 of my exciting Bolan Blog. i have just woken up and the house is an absolute tip. last night i spent far too long talking on here and eventually went to bed.

however, ive been looking into the life of the poet Lord Byron. apparently he used to get up at 2pm and talk for 4 hours. then he would gallop through the woods on his horse. then have dinner. then talk for another 10 hours. meanwhile an assortment of animals including peacocks and monkeys would wander freely through his home.

in comparision to him i have it relatively together, so maybe there is hope yet.

i am having a ciggie and contenplating my next move. the MIND girl will be here in a few hours. im hoping to at least have had breakfast and put on some clothes. she's very pretty and i show off infront of her terribly. unfortunately though i have a big spot on my top lip and i dont seem to have yet tranformed into a man during the night, so i suppose i will have to put off marrying her until say, next wednesday.

[Guest Syd_UK]

well the MIND lady has just gone. we went to the shop and i bought alot of cakes.

now unfortunately i have to do something useful. god how boring.

we had such a good chat though. ok so it mostly consisted of me ranting angrily about how stupid some people are, but she did manage to get a few words in there from time to time.

awesome !! right. i have had some lunch. i suppose it would qualify as dinner now. it appears to be almost 6pm. next on my list is to take some vitamins.

i would like to get off benefits and start selling my artwork. im sure MIND will help me with this. <3

[Guest Mickey]

I see my mind lady next Tuesday. I do enjoy being able to talk things over with her. And that does help. A little. She has advised me to get out in public more. I can't complain about being lonely, if I just sit at home, alone, all the time. I did go to the coffee shop this morning. Hung out for a bit. Didn't help with my loneliness though. I mean, I was still by myself at the coffee shop.

lol Now you got me rambling too.