I have no words to say but wow

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Hi all,

I was moved from (my precious) dial on Tuesday so they could train University students on it, and then I had my supervisor come and ask me something about being harrassed with hurtful words. I had literally no idea what he was talking about. I was talking with a co-worker this morning and I managed to force it out of her that Monday morning, a girl I worked with on dial had said "great, IT is here." as I was approaching. The girl said she had told my supervisor already, but I figured I'd follow up with him as well.

...

wow. I am lost for words but "wow".

I honestly laughed about it the whole day. For some reason I find it funny that she felt the need to say that. Oh well, at least it got me never working with her again

But really though. That's just pathetic. She's been talked to and I'm going to guess that she wasn't fired on the spot because she's been there for 14 years.

I don't really have anything else. I doubt I'll even need to mention this to my therapist because it honestly doesn't bother me.

God Bless, Loves

Kayla <3

[Guest Charlotte J.]

Again, your self-confidence is inspiring. I know I would have reacted differently. I'm quite self-conscious--though, increasingly less so as I embrace my trans* self, I'm recognizing now--so I think I would have had a much more fragile reaction than you did.

Go on, continue to be awesome.

[Charlize]

Your attitude is lovely as is the support that you coworker and then your supervisor have shown. If we all had that level of understanding and poise in the world life would be so much better for many of us. Glad you have found it. Hurtful comments can do a great deal of harm but in this case the incident was quickly diffused.

Hugs,

Charlize

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Kayla,

Wow, you are much more self assured than I am, I truly think a comment like that would really, really bother me. I would say that even though it doesn't bother you, you should tell your therapist anyway, it might spark an interesting discussion. Yep, I am definitely more fragile. Oh well, I will grow stronger by attempting to emulate your attitude if this should ever happen to me, crossing fingers that it never happens to me ever.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Kayla Grace]

There's not really much that I can say besides I've certainly changed. I'm not the defensive person I once was. That doesn't mean I'm going to sit down and take hurtful and downright repulsive things like that though. fragile as I may be, this cat still has claws that it will use if it's forced to.

Again, your self-confidence is inspiring. I know I would have reacted differently. I'm quite self-conscious--though, increasingly less so as I embrace my trans* self, I'm recognizing now--so I think I would have had a much more fragile reaction than you did.

Go on, continue to be awesome.

You flatter me ... I'm not really sure what to say. I guess I've just accepted me and can freely talk about anything while still maintaining my female mindset.

Your attitude is lovely as is the support that you coworker and then your supervisor have shown. If we all had that level of understanding and poise in the world life would be so much better for many of us. Glad you have found it. Hurtful comments can do a great deal of harm but in this case the incident was quickly diffused.

Hugs,

Charlize

Nothing is to be gained by having a defensive attitude. There will always be people who will only see the trans. The way I seen it, she is as insignificant as the dirt I wash off myself at the end of the day, perhaps more since the dirt will strengthen my immune system

Hi Kayla,

Wow, you are much more self assured than I am, I truly think a comment like that would really, really bother me. I would say that even though it doesn't bother you, you should tell your therapist anyway, it might spark an interesting discussion. Yep, I am definitely more fragile. Oh well, I will grow stronger by attempting to emulate your attitude if this should ever happen to me, crossing fingers that it never happens to me ever.

hugs,

Stephanie

The only thing at this point that gets under my skin is when I have to attend family gatherings since I have to be "him", and I am constantly called the name that reminds me of a grim and pesterous past. I hope you never have to deal with it.

Just remember, those who can't accept you for you, are worthless. They can laugh at you, they can mock you, they can tell you that you'll never be a woman. But you know you can do it. Let them worry about their problem, and don't make it yours.

God Bless, Loves

Kayla <3

[Guest Razilee]

I have yet to experience being verbally neutered like that, but I would hope that I could feel for anyone capable of dehumanizing someone else. I would try not to think of them as worthless or insignificant, even if that is what they may be thinking about me. They may think that about themselves too.

Love,

Raz

[Guest LizMarie]

I try to let the bigotry just roll off my back, unless it's actually causing me real issues (denial of services, physical threats/intimidation, etc.).

A friend of mine has been very successful turning potentially ugly situations into teaching moments. I've had a few of those as well, though I've more often just ignored it and continued onward. My work situation has been without incident thus far, and for that I am very thankful.

[Guest]

At one month away from four years full time female I have learned some new girl tricks. Men? I move away quickly as I do not want to be in that peer group.

Women? Now that's a whole new beauty pageant! When one my offending sisters wants to diss me with male comments or intentional male pronouns to make me feel bad about my intersexuality I have taken a more catty approach. I don't resort to loud comments or arguments, saying nothing about her sexuality or being vulgar in return. I generally compliment her about something small and then make friendly motherly advice about her hygiene or many other cuts I have learned from my girl friends and other women.

They know how to hit each other where they live and make it hurt! Being female I can too. I'm in this for the whole game! I can be sweet as cherry pie, most receive that persona, step on my high heels and I can turn my tart side just like any other.

Skittles and rainbows to all my sweet friends. Claws retracted. Giggle. JodyAnn

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I have yet to experience being verbally neutered like that, but I would hope that I could feel for anyone capable of dehumanizing someone else. I would try not to think of them as worthless or insignificant, even if that is what they may be thinking about me. They may think that about themselves too.

Love,

Raz

I don't mean that in a derogatory way Razilee. I suppose it's just a coping mechanism. People are going to say and think what they want and we can't change it. It's completely unacceptable in the workplace though (at least here). However, if she does eventually warm up to me, then I will warm back up to her.

I try to let the bigotry just roll off my back, unless it's actually causing me real issues (denial of services, physical threats/intimidation, etc.).

A friend of mine has been very successful turning potentially ugly situations into teaching moments. I've had a few of those as well, though I've more often just ignored it and continued onward. My work situation has been without incident thus far, and for that I am very thankful.

Would you call being at work and only being noticed when I'm screwing up my job as bullying/mental issues? I personally would, but them not giving me attention means I can think about furthering my transition at work

I hope you never have any workplace issues Liz; they honestly suck. You and I are there to work and support ourselves, not join a gossip and bigot battlefield.

At one month away from four years full time female I have learned some new girl tricks. Men? I move away quickly as I do not want to be in that peer group.

Women? Now that's a whole new beauty pageant! When one my offending sisters wants to diss me with male comments or intentional male pronouns to make me feel bad about my intersexuality I have taken a more catty approach. I don't resort to loud comments or arguments, saying nothing about her sexuality or being vulgar in return. I generally compliment her about something small and then make friendly motherly advice about her hygiene or many other cuts I have learned from my girl friends and other women.

They know how to hit each other where they live and make it hurt! Being female I can too. I'm in this for the whole game! I can be sweet as cherry pie, most receive that persona, step on my high heels and I can turn my tart side just like any other.

Skittles and rainbows to all my sweet friends. Claws retracted. Giggle. JodyAnn

I generally just ignore it, and play a "cold war" sort of thing. If it were out of the workplace, I'm honestly not sure what I'd do. But if it happens in the workplace - which my count is up to 2 now - then I will let the authority deal with it to avoid getting involved myself; so it may be dealt with in the most professional way possible.

I totally get it JodyAnn! I really don't care for gossip - in fact it drives me up the wall - and I'll avoid situations that involve such petty things. But force me to use my claws, and I will rip you limb from limb

God Bless, Loves

Kayla <3

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

There are rude and disrespectful people everywhere, more so now then ever before is what I have noticed. When someone does say something hurtful to me I tend to shake it off now and not let it get to me, it use to hurt me a lot and I would emotionally shut down, there are still times when I just want to hide when someone does say something pertaining to male pronouns instead of female. Recovery from chemotherapy and cancer your emotions get all messed up. Fragile as heck. I like your approach JodyAnn, complementing on something pertaining to them.

Angelgrlsue

[Guest]

happily in french we don't have neutral subjects. My challenge when facing those situations is not self acceptance, it's going over my mental illness and not going paranoiac and on the defensive after the event happen. If something like that happen to me I will probably think everyone is calling me "it", is laughing about me, want to do me physical harm after and I will try to ear what people say, try to avoid any contact and will relive past abuses.

I'm very aware of this problem and thankfully i'm more and more able to go over it.

it's great to ear how well you are dealing with this, it's very inspiring.