Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Sober for the holidays


Charlize

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

This is a difficult time for anyone who has a problem with drugs or alcohol. This article may provide some hope for a sober holiday season.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/courtney-gillette/holidays-sober-new-years-2012_b_1172499.html

I got sober in February 8 + years ago so i know it can be done. Even so each year i'm again confronted by what seems to be a national obsession with getting wasted.

we're here for you if you need to reach out.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment

thanks Charlize

i am new to the forum and am going through my 3rd sober holiday season. it is always a tougher time for me as exposure to occasions where alcohol will be available happen much more often. AA has been a great help and think a forum that ties my transgender and alcohol issues together seems like a miracle!! merry xmas all Robin

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
  • Forum Moderator

At this time of year many of us are under additional stresses.  Many have lost family and friends due to normal life or because of transition.  The days are short and we miss the sun and the comfort it can bring.  I know i can drop into a deep sadness and depression at this time of year.  When i was a child i was joyful but today that joy can quickly slip into dark places.  I am fortunate to have found support for others like myself, both alcoholics and trans* folks.  We can help each other as no-one else can.  Please if you are having problems with alcohol or substance abuse contact me or someone else here.  PM or post.  I will certainly be happy to help as i can.  There is also a wonderful group of trans* AA folks who maintain an open Zoom room where you can talk in real time and see others who share both addiction issues and those that arise from being Trans*.  Just contact me or see the topic that discusses that group.

 

Big hugs and hopefully only Joy for this holiday season,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Everyone,

The holiday's have never really been a trigger for me as when I was an active druggie (alcoholic too) every day of the year was "Happy Newyear". I have had a little over 10 years drug and alcohol free now, so like Charlize, my life is another testimony that it can be done! It's hard at first, but does get easier with time. The temptation never completely goes away, but we learn methods of coping with it when it does come around. One of the most powerful methods I have found is talking with other recovering addicts and/or alcoholics. I always keep an eye on the alcohol and drug abuse forums here at Laura's, so if you ever want to post when you're having a tough period staying clean or sober, you won't have to wait terribly long for a reply. You can PM me if you want more privacy. What's said between us stays between us always. Many of us here have had our problems with substance abuse, and most any of us who have recovered I'm sure would be happy to listen and share our hope, strength, and experience. Have a great, safe, and clean and sober holiday season everyone!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Admin

Congratulations LIsa and welcome to a new wonderful and wonderfilled part of life.

Just because I have not been posting here much recently, I am still a recovering Alcoholic without any doubt.  Facing my Gender issues 8 years ago at this time with a clear mind was indeed a gift that keeps on giving.  Just facing my reality as both Addict and Trans* with honesty and surrender was enough to get the ball rolling.  Four years ago I was a little distracted from the holidays with an approaching interaction with a surgeon, but the ability to face that excitement and stress without frankly having time to think about booze or wanting to numb my life was fantastic.  Between 30 and 37 percent of Trans* folk have reached for chemicals of choice during the process of dealing with GD.  These substances are the Medicine that we try to take when we do not know what an "illness" that we feel we have is not properly being treated by more helpful and life sustaining means.  It is not an illness, it life on life's terms for 0.6% of our population, but it can be lived, and celebrated if we accept it and share with others who will help us live that life.

Happy Sober Holidays!!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I must admit that I have a bit of a different approach to special occasions like Christmas. As one who has drunk to excess at Christams in the past I do know the problems but tend to approach in moderation now.

One thing I like to do though is to use special occasions to do something different. Such as for Christmas to abstain totally to celebrate and remember. This also serves to realise that even these sort of events can be navigated without major issue. To me such things have meaning which I don't forget (like I remember I stopped smoking when my partner was in a bad way after surgery for an anurism  -  I won't forget even though the two are not really connected. She recovered well but I did not start smoking again. I thought things were bad so another bad thing just made little difference so I just dropped it).

It may or may not be a recommended way but if it works it works!

Merry Christmas Lisa xxx

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Lisa, that's wonderful! Enjoy your first sober holiday!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Lisa.  I am also amazed at how much  sobriety can do for feeling part of the world again. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
17 hours ago, Lisa said:

You don't realize that stuff makes you a zombie till you finally stop.

Well said Lisa!  I've heard that expressed so many times in many different ways over the years.  And Timber Wolf, if there can be any humor in this, your comment that "every day was happy New Year" made me chuckle.  ...And reflect.

Everyone here knows already that the holidays can be a difficult time of the year regardless of one's circumstance.  Besides everything else in our lives, there's the holiday office parties, home holiday parties, friends going out for a "holiday drink" etc.  And it seems that in every holiday commercial there's a bottle of bubbly popping open.

One of the things my wife & I do is go and enjoy these events, but we don't stay long.  We go, talk, share holiday wishes, eat, and then excuse ourselves to "go to the other event we have going."  We still get the social interaction but we avoid the social pressures of "hey everyone let's get holiday wasted!"

For those above that have offered their help to others who might be having a difficult time during this time of the year - bless you!  It's that spirit, that willingness to help that makes such a difference in this world for others that are just looking for a small hand up.

Link to comment

I went from drinking massive amounts of alcohol every day to not needing it at all once I started dealing with all this. Now I just drink a couple beers here and there socially, I'm pretty happy about that! :) ........

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Lisa.  I am also amazed at how much  sobriety can do for feeling part of the world again.

 We will be having a chat meeting this Christmas night.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 275 Guests (See full list)

    • violet r
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • violet r
      I firmly believe I drank entirely to much for about 25 years. Got drunk every day. This was my coping mechanism to keep hiding deep inside that I was a woman. I miss a lot of signs over the years. Now I drink mabye 1 or 2 beers a day don't even get a buzz anymore. totally accept myself and on regret is that I hide that part of my self which  truly makes me happy being violet 💜. I wasted a lot of time before  being self destructive and had no clue I was just hiding th real me
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager at goes through that here.One was a belt change in a 2019 Kenworth.It was written on the work order including a service done and I seen it.Customer was a complete a-hole.I did it and said he did not want that done.Shown him the original work order and finally said the service manager was right.My boss had to get rid of two customers,always complained about their bill being a little high.Price of parts went up due to inflation and had to explain this to them
    • Tiffany 838
      Well it not morning and I haven’t been on her for a while but it’s nice to be back.  Did some catching up on everyone.  I do have a question, how is Toronto Canada for a get away? Is it a safe and friendly area for us to go.  The wife and I are looking for some where to go to allow me to be my true self.     thanks in advance
    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...