Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Jennifer T

Shards

Recommended Posts

Jennifer T

I watched a movie recently called "Backtrack". It was a movie that focuses on an individual's repressed childhood memory (I didn't know this when I rented it).

A recent conversation took me back to a day when some repressed memories of my childhood came flooding back:

"Shards"

In shards of broken memory

A child cries

For refuge from a torrent of rage

And disdain.

Through fear and pain

The betrayal finds,

in sequestered austerity,

An asylum for the soul.

Years pass.

The haven of repression

becomes a prison;

Anathema.

Contempt for self

And a shame indiscernible

lies dormant; an awareness

Waiting...

A woman,

Silenced in debasement;

Coped with a struggle

Meant for two

The burden too great

She became a product of duplicity

An onus mismanaged

Brought distorted solace;

The provender of life became the

furtherance of despair.

And the child cried.

The shards reassembled

Provide a shattered reflection

Of a child remembered.

Jennifer T - June 2003

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

I also know the feeling of being a broken and a distorted vessel. Life has seemed unfair. I have ben damaged by events, perhaps broken at times.

Events in my life as well as my gender issues have caused this. I'm sure no-one gets through life with a perfect vessel. As a person who has worked with clay i know that regardless of how perfectly i throw a pot and prepare the glazes the kiln is the final arbitrator. I also have seen how the distortions in a pot make it more interesting and beautiful patched or not.

Hugs,

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
Guest LesleyAnne

Wow!

...... I get it!

Powerful, poignant! :wub:

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 95 Guests (See full list)

    • KayC
    • Scotia Drake
    • SaraAW
    • ToniTone
    • Carrie
    • Jamie_Rae
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      71,299
    • Total Posts
      647,768
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,052
    • Most Online
      8,356

    jimbo00us
    Newest Member
    jimbo00us
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Posts

    • Timber Wolf
      Hi Hammertime, Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf 🐾
    • Carrie
      Hi Sophie Know one thing you are very brave.  I guess we all are as we have little choice.  As time go's by it will get a little better and and little more better. Stay strong and remember we are here for you. Lots of love  Carrie
    • Carrie
      Hi Sophie To my family and a few friends I told before I came out.  At work they had noticed the changes before I came out so about 9 months after being on HRT I changed my name legally and into work on Friday as I was then Monday came in a dress.  As they already knew about me and I would look exactly the same I wanted something to make an impact. It is different for many of us and we come out differently. As for the big picture when you first post the link it will come up like it has for you before  you post it look at the bottom and you will find an option to post as a link only. Take care  Carrie
    • Sophie Watson
      So I made a video about my worries about socially transitioning on Youtube. About easing my way into being a woman out in public not just in the comfort of my own home.    The more I spoke about it the more clueless I felt I was as to what would be most comfortable for me and for other people.    Like, it will be super scary going out dressed as ME. Not because I'll be uncomfortable but worried about how people will look at me and treat me.    What are your experiences? Did you ease yourself into it? Or did you just turn up to work one day with full make up and dress.    My video is here where I speak more on the topic -      I wish I knew how to stop link's I post from making a huge deal of it. How do I make it stop showing a giant pic of my ugly face? 
    • Carrie
      Hi Tracy  I like all of those.  My favourite Song of all time is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.  There have been others but none like this. Carrie
    • Carrie
      I went into the city today this picture is of my in front of the Queen Victoria Building which is in the centre of the city and is very old as you might guess from the picture.  This was just before I met with my image consultant which went terribly well. 🙂 The other picture is of my at my local chess club.  
    • tracy_j
      It's a difficult one has it has changed over the years. I probably could not pick a single one but The Rolling Stones, The Doors, Creedance Clearwater Revival, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd and The Ramones would have to be in the shortlist. Having said that lots more are coming to mind. Individuals like Carlos Santana and Chuck Berry. Such a variation!   Tracy
    • Carrie
      Hit Tori Glad you had a good day!   I know how hard it is to stop I have smoked since primary school.  You can smoke on the medication but it is not recommended though I always have.  My doctor told me at the beginning to had half an aspirin if I was going to smoke because it would help to stop the blood from thickening too much. I saw my psychiatrist for the first time to day and he told me I would not be seeing him again.  While that may sound bad it was wonderful.  He wrote me a letter of support form SRS surgery.  He said many of the doctors in Thailand know him so it is a great step.  LOL I just need to find a doctor now! 🙂 🙂 With lots of love Carrie
    • Carrie
      Hi Tori Sorry was talking to my dad to give him the news from today which was fantastic.  
    • Tori M
      I've had a good day, Carrie.  I just finished writing about it in my blog.  How about you?  It's after 11 here on the U.S. Pacific coast; almost time for bed.  Contemplating one more toke and a half a cigg before bed.  I'm trying to wean off the ciggs for good.  You would think if a person only smokes 5 a day, might as well quit, eh?  Not that easy; they're my friend when I need a break.  I'm pretty resolved on it now though.  Don't want to smoke and take E together.  I'm giving myself until my B-day.
    • Carrie
      Hi Kaltia I am so happy for you. We all are here to support each other that is why it is so wonderful here. Hugs 💖 Carrie
    • Kaltia_Atlas
      ❤️ I love all of you! Thank you so much for the support! @Shay so happy for you and proud of you! This was a very good day for both of us indeed!   Have a good night ladies!   Hugz ❤️ Kali
    • Carrie
      Thanks Dinaki Just got back home and made myself a coffee, it is 3:40 in the afternoon. How is everybody
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.jweekly.com/2020/07/01/becoming-a-rebbetzin-what-its-like-to-come-out-as-transgender-when-youre-married-to-the-rabbi/     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.npr.org/sections/live-updates-protests-for-racial-justice/2020/07/02/886810648/what-happened-when-police-brutality-protests-and-pride-month-converged     Carolyn Marie
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...