Just one thing to think about which I have found with leggings Kay . I am UK size so won't quote actual sizes because of the difference but I found that I needed one size larger than my optimum waist size because of the size of my calf muscles.
That was going to be my next thought.
It's pretty difficult to figure out (for me) where to tweak the colours for some of the boxes on the right hand side backgrounds. I was kinda hoping that the Firefox Dark Mode option would resolve most issues.
Ah well, back to the drawing board. 😪
To some degree this probably happens to many of us transitioning with and without spouses although I never heard it referred to as a ‘pink fog‘ stage. Obviously, before coming out fully about wanting to transition to female to my wife the topic just was never brought up. Shortly after coming out though, we seemed to talk about nothing else. So much so that we talked about a [future] time when transition, gender, and all of the issues it creates would not be a part of our regular discussion throughout the day. I’m really not sure that will ever happen. Now that we have become quite accustomed to our life as two married women, we no longer worry about it like we once did. My wife and I find enjoyment with several support groups where gender issues are the main focus. Plus, we are both involved of online trans communities that we really enjoy. It hasn’t got to a point where a ‘pink fog’ has detrimentally affected our lives. If it ever starts to interfere with our life together, I’m sure we would make some changes in our day to day although I’m not sure what those changes would entail.
Thank you Kay! My wife and I have been married over 30 years, and more than half of those she has known about, and supported me. Last year I came out to her fully that there is more to this.
i have mentioned to her that I want to go to therapy, but she insists that it don’t need it. In one of our discussions she mentioned “MTF runs in the family “ (I have a cousin that transitioned many years ago), it may be that she is worried that I will end up going to a therapist and starting the transition that day?
When it comes to money, she controls it, and I have learned that I need to ask before spending it or risk her anger.
Kay, please let me know how things go with you and your wife and your approach for therapy. I too don’t want to go behind my wife’s back, but I know that I need therapy.
Thank you Kay ❤️
Youre on the right way and thats great . Just take this ONE day at a time and dont try to rusch things in the hope things will get better faster. And whatever you do DONT for one second think that suicide is the right way to go as its NOT TRUST me on this.
And above all if you feel bad again DONT be afraid to come back here and also seek help and support from the profetinals if needed youre NOT alone Rosalina
Wow! this hits so close to home, its almost as I had written it myself. Going on 2 years now since coming out to my wife (only), but not really being able to talk about it because it always gets uncomfortable.
I can dress at home (mostly in private) but similar "boundaries" about going out or going farther .. not really sure I am ready for that yet anyway so its not a big issue so far.
I received a similar threat of "leaving" if I transition, but recently she denied she ever said that (I didn't forget), so maybe that is a hopeful sign.
I recently made a determination that I need to open the communication again. Big reason is I want to start therapy, and I don't want to do it behind her back. I am hoping she doesn't see it as a threat but an opportunity for me to get my arms around my gender identity. Hopefully it will include her at some point too .. and I feel unless we understand and support each other, it will be difficult to continue without one or both of us being unhappy in this relationship.
Thank you Janae for posting this .. I too feel I am fortunate to have found this forum.
Wishing you all the best in your journey
I'm really glad you're feeling less down these days, Rosalina. It's rarely an easy thing to transition, what with roadblocks and family issues and self confidence issues and everything else. Just take it one day at a time, and every day that you can stand tall is a good day. And every day when things look bleak, don't stop trying for better, and know that you can come here and find solace with friends who understand. Take care.
I missed my morning cup cuz spent the whole night up and spent most the day trying to rest with the neighbors blasting music that was so loud, the house vibrated from the bass. Looks like I got two black eyes, I'm so tired. But need coffee otherwise I start getting a headache. Use to be terrible, drinking up to 5 cups easy. Now I can barely have 2. My gut can only take so much abuse from acid.
Depression is indeed a beast. Debilitating, paralyzing. Coupled with the shutdown, it makes things difficult. You feel trapped, no way out.
Kellysinclair101 I sort of understand. I was homeless in the Boston area, living out of my car, for over a year.
You have to have faith in yourself that you can find a way through this.
Keep us posted on how you're doing, okay?
《《《 Big hug 》》》
I have been having difficulty concentrating on things for the past few months. Today I was thinking about this more and it kind of felt like I was in a fog. So I guess I have heard the term Pink Fog before I suppose, because I went ahead and googled it and came up with this post back in 2009 (oddly I could not find it here, but it looked like it was posted in this discussion group back in September 2009.
“Have many of you ever go through really bad pink fog stages where all you can think about is your gender issues?
It seems like every two months or so this strikes me with a vengeance and I struggle to keep everything together.
I am going through a pink fog phase at the moment and it is bitter sweet, I love the feelings and emotions I am experiencing and yet at the same time feel I am being smothered by a heavy weight of frustration.
I am struggling to keep on top of this and carry on with my daily activities, it's not so bad during the day when I have work etc to distract me but at night it is more difficult. Have you had these feelings and if so what do you do to manage them?
My wife is very supportive but I can't talk to her about this as it makes her uncomfortable - I have already tried.
It is so confusing and I just wished I could find a middle ground whereby I can be Rachael whenever the urge is there without being obsessed by the whole thing.
Normally I am okay with being transgendered - love it in fact, but during these periods I find it a struggle as it makes me feel vulnerable and a bit lost. “
Wow. Yes, I couldn’t have described it better, or said it better, - same thing exactly but more frequently than every 2 months. I have been dressing for the past 50 years. I found this forum a little over a year ago, and it has helped immensely knowing that i am not alone. Everyone has been very supportive.
Things were going very well for me (my wife was supportive it seemed) until last October when my wife one day out of the blue told me she would leave me if I transitioned to a woman. I was devastated as I thought things between us were going rather well. (In retrospect- that week it was cold outside so I took advantage of that opportunity to wear a heavy coat to hide the fact I was wearing a bra and ran a few errands. Maybe my C cup was not so obscured)
We have had some good discussion over the past couple of weeks and she told me she would have left me by now if she was unhappy. So i am happy about that. She has some hard boundaries- no going out of the house wearing a bra, and I need to wear out some of my clothes before getting new ones. I do love to shop, and have more bras and panties than she does. She has a hard time wrapping her head around that, and has asked many times why i want to wear a bra when she hates it. I have tried to explain how it feels the right thing to be doing - it just feels right, (better than how I feel when I don’t have any breasts/bra) and when I look in the mirror I like what I see, but I think for a cis person they just don’t understand.
Probably way too much in this post - but if anyone has any of these feelings mentioned above how do you manage them?
Thanks for reading.
@Rosalina101011 This is great news.😁 As you know, when starting out with your regimen it can be a little ‘up and down’ so just be on the look out for that. I periodically feel the ‘ups and downs’ but at least I’m more aware of the emotional changes now. I’ve learned when I need to change up whatever I’m doing to keep myself from being dragged down. Just changing my immediate environment is sometimes enough to help. But uplifting or relaxing music seems to help very quickly if I can’t drop what I’m doing.
Odd dietary urges on estrogen? Not so much Estrogen but when I started Progesterone a year or so ago, it changed my cravings a bit. I find I have to fight my cravings of anything with vinegar and garlic. I used to be a very strict ‘blue cheese on my salad‘ girl but this last year I can’t get enough Caesar salad dressing on my salads now.
I went back to hormones Pallets about three weeks ago. I seem to be doing better. I don’t have suicide thoughts like I used to. I haven’t had depression for a while. I have a very slow climb up where I used to be. I’m actually starting to like myself a little bit, not much but I would Settle for one percent. wish me luck everyone still here on this earth