I Have to Return to the Social Security Office

[Carolyn Marie]

I got my name changed with SSA five years ago, and figured I was done with them.  However, I just found out I was wrong and now have to go back one more time.

Apparently, the clerk who assisted me on my name change was supposed to have asked for additional documentation to support my gender change, but failed to do so.  I recently applied for possible benefits under my wife's account as a spouse, and ran into a problem.  That's when they told me that their records still showed me as male, and then questioned my marriage status.

Long story short, its no huge deal.  I need to bring them my therapist's original letter attesting to my gender change, along with my name change decree (and just in case, my passport, too), and I should be good to go.  That will also certify my marriage as "legitimate." 

What would we do without our bureaucracy?  I will say that the claims person I talked with was extremely nice, helpful and supportive, and really seemed to care that I got this straightened out.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

Ugh! Perhaps bureaucracy is so that we'll never get bored......

[VickySGV]

[Dev]

On the one hand, ugh, Social Security.  On the other, I've also experienced an incredibly helpful person when I showed up at a local office.  Here's hoping the trend continues!

[tracy_j]

I don't know about Social Security, but many of these organisations confuse me. There are always certain things they insist on and others they dismiss with 'Oh we don't need to worry about that'. I always wonder why a form has these other things if they are seldom used

Tracy

 

[Ravin]

I'm scratching my head at what it would have to do with your marriage status. I could see where it might trip them up if you married a man somewhere in the window between when you changed your legal gender for everything else and when same-sex marriage was legalized in your jurisdiction, because the validity of a marriage is based on the time and place it started. But you are married to a woman, so if you were legally male, it was a heterosexual marriage and your gender would not affect the validity of it.

[Carolyn Marie]

3 minutes ago, Ravin said:

I'm scratching my head at what it would have to do with your marriage status. I could see where it might trip them up if you married a man somewhere in the window between when you changed your legal gender for everything else and when same-sex marriage was legalized in your jurisdiction, because the validity of a marriage is based on the time and place it started. But you are married to a woman, so if you were legally male, it was a heterosexual marriage and your gender would not affect the validity of it.

The official was at first trying to get his head around the fact that my recent application for benefits showed I was female, but my marriage occurred many years before same sex marriage was legal in CA.  Once I explained the issue, then it just became a matter of getting my gender changed in the system.

If I was actually eligible for benefits (which it turns out I am not), I would have to bring both my marriage certificate and my name change docs to the office so they could see I am the same person.  

Carolyn Marie

 

[Cyndee]

It's a small hassle for sure, i believe SSA changed the rules in 2013, this would have been after you initially applied, but just think Carolyn, when it's all over you will be "Federally Female"

Hugs

C -

[Carolyn Marie]

I spent a lovely 90 minutes in the office, listening to my tunes on a hard plastic chair.  When I got to the window with my docs I discovered that they needed the original doctor's letter certifying gender change.  But I had to give the original to the Passport Agency to get that changed.  So no go.  Back to the doctor to have her do another letter, then back to SSA next week.

Yes, I know, the employee was just following the rules.  But it still sucks. 

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

[MarcieMarie12]

[Guest]

9 hours ago, CyndiRae said:

It's a small hassle for sure, i believe SSA changed the rules in 2013, this would have been after you initially applied, but just think Carolyn, when it's all over you will be "Federally Female"

Hugs

C -

Yup. I filed my name change I  think in April,  then something like June they changed the surgical rule.  I made a beeline back to get my gender marker changed too.  Wonderful day! Now I  fit the original profile.  Gee, do I  have to go back and prove I traded in my old plastic pipe for my new more valuable copper plumbing? Giggle.  They were always nice and polite to me.

[Carolyn Marie]

Wow, did I just go through the emotional wringer at the Social Security Office.

I got the doctor to redo her letter, and expected the process to be a slam dunk when I got to the window.  Waited an hour and called into the back room.  The staffer asked what I was there for, and I told him and gave him my letter and application.

"No, this won't do," he said.  "We need a court order, that's the only thing we'll accept."  I kept my cool and said, no, you're mistaken, the regulations were changed a couple of years ago, and there are three different documents that are accepted, including my doctor's letter.

No, he insisted, a court order is the only thing.  He was very stern, and I figured I wasn't going to get anywhere with him.  I took my docs and he walked me out, and I said again "you're wrong," as I left.

I sat in my car fuming, and I looked up the regs on my phone again.  It was right there on the SSA web site; any of three docs, including the doctor's letter, a passport and the court order.  I decided I was not going to let him intimidate me.

I marched back in to the office, asked to see the same staff person, and he did see me.  i explained again, calmly, that he was wrong, and asked him to check the regs himself or ask a supervisor.  He maintained that he was right, but said he would get a copy of the regulations page to show me that he was right. 

He was gone a long time, and I started having a good feeling about it.  After more than 10 minutes he returned and immediately apologized and told me I was right.  He and his supervisor looked it up.  He apologized at least three times, and proceeded to process my gender change.

As he finished up, he actually thanked me for sticking to my guns, and said he learned from the experience.  I thanked him for making the effort to look it up and be sure, and I said that the next time he talks with someone like me, he would be armed with the right information.  We both smiled and shook hands, and I felt good as I left.

The moral of the story is, know your facts, stick to them, and don't let yourself be intimidated by an authority figure.  They don't always know what they think they know.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

[Cyndee]

Wow, congratulations Carolyn !

C -

[Jani]

I love it when a strong woman asserts herself.  Good for you. 

Jani