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flyinhawaiian16

How can I "test" myself?

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flyinhawaiian16   
flyinhawaiian16

Assigned male at birth, questioning my gender identity.  Im definitely either cis male or trans woman.  I know that a gender therapist s qualified to delve into the mental side of gender, but what sorts of things can I do to test my own self? Things I can do, try, questions I can ask myself? Thanks in advance ♡

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CyndiRae   
CyndiRae

I dunno as an AMAB,

If you seem to obsess over what women wear, say,  and do, and it never seems to leave your mind no matter how hard you try, you might be trans. 

If you are seemingly jealous of women in all walks of life, you might be trans. 

If you want to carry a baby, obsess over menstrual cycles. you might be trans.  

If you are called a "girl" or "girly" by others, yet you don't seem to know why, you might be trans. 

If you enjoy going out in the world dressed as a woman and being seen this way, you might be trans. 

If you enjoy being treated "like a woman" and interacting with others in the feminine role, you might be trans. 

Some people have doctors prescribe Estradiol in a low dose and if this medicine seems to enhance your quality of life after a short period of time, you might be trans. A cis male would probably not enjoy E, and the loss of a male sex drive for one example, a transwoman would enjoy these changes, I know I did. 

I am sure others will stop by with their thoughts, but wanted to answer this post initially. 

I think the best advice I heard and will pass along is to simply "be honest with yourself", once you can push aside all the BS that comes with gender and gender roles in our western world, simply get to the heart of the matter. One gender is not any better than an another, it's a complimentary world out there, I think there are advantages/disadvantages to both the male and female genders. Don't simply trade one box for another, be happy, free your mind, be you, what ever that might happen to be like at any one given time. 

Good luck, best wishes in life. 

Cyndi -

 

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VickySGV   
VickySGV

It there is even a question, you are not typically Cis then.  You are probably Trans* to some degree.  Try embracing the idea that you cannot check one box (the F or the M) and see where it gets you.  Maybe neither box will do for your life, you may be Fabulous or Extraordinary as far as gender goes. Be ready to celebrate and not fear what you discover, 

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Clair Dufour   
Clair Dufour

Gender according to present thinking is not binary (cis or trans*) but rather a broad spectrum including gender neutral. How one determines where they are on the spectrum is by what makes them comfortable with who they are. While dress and grooming are important, how one acts is important too. Changing clothes to change gender is what some call bi-gendered and is common with some Drag Queens and  crossdressers but really has little to do with their true gender. Talking to  a therapist is a good thing. Testing is simple. Buy some girls clothes of the girls rack and wear them and work up to a full crossdress to wear out to a LGBT place (yes, there is a gay pride in Portland very soon), interact with others in that gender, grow your hair out and pierce your ears. You will, I guarantee, start to workout where you are on the spectrum and better  understand yourself. Note that a few people here do not change their dress or gender look. They just take hormones to feel better about themselves and let body shape and hair do whatever it does. For others changing not only their gender but also their sex is what is most important and that takes a good deal of self understanding and a good gender therapist.

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Timber Wolf   
Timber Wolf

The closest thing I've ever heard to a "quick test" is that if you are seriously questioning your gender, you're probably not cis gender. But this won't help you know exactly what you are. There is a wide range of possibilities, and it takes time to figure out just where you fit in the spectrum. Therapy and/or counseling can help. But to find out for sure, there is no "quick test".😕

Just be patient and let time tell. This may not be the answer you were hoping to find, but it's the answer I got early on, and it helped me a lot. Enjoy the journey!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾🍀🌷🌾🍄

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cerise   
cerise

I think what has been said is quite valid and although I took a few online tests they provided little in the way of answers other than that I shared the stronger empathy skills that women possess.

In the end it was a personal decision and being "out" for me has become equally important as changing my physiology and appearance through HRT, hair removal and the female attire that I feel comfortable with.

Whatever confusion I might have had was put to rest since having given myself to the process of transition.

Perhaps it was memory of the distress that I felt upon the first awakening of my trans nature and to what seemed like an impossibility than kept me on track as to who I was.

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ChickenLittle   
ChickenLittle

I understand the desire to find a way to test yourself to figure out what's going on. I was AFAB and when I began questioning whether I was trans, I "tested" myself by wearing more masculine clothes, binding my chest, and getting a more masculine haircut (in that order, over a series of months). Every time I tried something new, I found myself a little bit happier and more comfortable in my body. I've come to the conclusion that I'm definitely a trans guy and I just started hormones this last week. I couldn't be happier! So maybe a good place to start would be trying to incorporate some more feminine clothes into your wardrobe and see how that makes you feel? Trying new things out can really help you learn more about yourself. 

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Jani423   
Jani423

I think Vicky and Timber Wolf have described  it.  The best test is yourself.  If you're thinking/questioning about your gender then you are most likely somewhere on the scale away from the edges.  

Don't worry about labels.  Be you.  The road may be rough for a while but you'll be happier in the end.  

Jani

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Cindy Truheart   
Cindy Truheart

Because of my repression and denial I had believed I was a cis male for over twenty years. When I 'popped my cap' and memories started coming back, I wasn't sure if those memories were real. I wasn't sure if I was the person these memories were telling me I was. So I experimented. I read. I learned more. It became obvious what I am to me when I realized that, not only did I HATE being called he/him or sir, I LOVE being called she/her Ma'am. When I went out in public as a woman and people gendered me as a woman, it was like a calming balm on a wound I didn't know I had. And on the reverse side, when I had to go back out into the world as a man, I felt the annoyance and anger that came with being seen as a man. That was when I knew for sure that I am binary female. But that may not be you. Experiment. Read. Learn more. You'll get there. But most importantly, try to get a therapist. I almost made A LOT of really bad decisions and my therapist helped me to find my way. Her help has been priceless.

Love and Light!

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