I am confused about Gender Dysphoria

[Lauryn Michelle]

It appears that Gender dysphoria is not fun, but it can be positive in the sense of pointing one in the right direction.

 

It almost seems to be a prerequisite, which confuses me.

 

I dont have a bad feeling about my male body. I dont feel trapped in it.

 

I feel better feminizing though.

 

Is that a form of dysphoria? Just in the positive end of the spectrum? Like i see my body, and desire it to change, i even started some exercises the other day to accentuate towards a more feminine physique. I used to have facial hair all the time, and now i am clean shaven, i trim my chest and started trimming my legs. I have been taking vitamins for hair growth, and i do put my make up, wig and female clothes on most nights when i can. Do i need to be in the "oh my god i am in thr wrong body!" mode?? Perhaps i am feeding my desire enough that i dont feel that kind of dysphoria? 

[Guest]

Hello, Clara Bell

 

You don't need to be in 'wrong body' mode!

 

You are not the only one who feel this way. I have met several other people, who have the same issues. The transition was not for them, especially at this point. Maybe never!

 

I see the same problem with you like with one fellow acquaintance, with sort of a different problem. You need to take a time (as much as you want) and think about it. I don't know if you do research on the transgender topic, but it would be nice to do it. You need this answers for yourself, and it will be better if you find them, as much as possible on your own, not waiting for someone to bring them 'ready and steady' to be applied!

 

This is my advice, not recommendation! Whatever you decide, I'm with you!

 

Sincerely yours,

Shell

[DenimAndLace]

@Clara Bell

I love your question and your honesty.  I think you should just be yourself ...and love it!  It's my, increasingly adamant, opinion that all of us are on a 3D spectrum of gender, gender expression and sexuality.  Wherever you are on that whatever model you use is perfectly fine!!!  If you're looking for others who are similar to yourself, they may be hard to find because our culture is so steeped in the gender binary and tries it's hardest to make everyone conform to boy or girl.  That puts a lot of unreasonable pressure on those of us who don't fit so neatly into box 1 or box 2.  I was in my local department store last night and was helped by a person who had long shiny black hair, lip stick and tight jeans AND was sporting a full beard.  I loved it!  Both sets of gender norms all in the same package for everyone to see.  What an interesting world this would be if more people would just be themselves. 

[Laura Beth]

There are many varying aspects of gender dysphoria that not very one experiences. I really didn't think there was any thing wrong with myself but I was depressed over a long period, I tried and wore some of my Mom's clothes when I was in my teens and I had the urge to wear women's clothes from time to time. It wasn't until I was in counselling that I started to open up and then found a doctor to prescribe me hormones that I was finally needing to change.

 

Laura Beth

[VickySGV]

As said before, Gender Dysphoria does not take one single form, but it is a concept that we are not prepared for in life, and it does not occur in any children's cradle stories that are told about good little boys and girls who grow up to be mommies and daddies.  When it hits us, unless we know an out and open Trans person, no one around us has any idea about what it is either and even if kindly towards our concern, they do not look beyond the surface.  Lets face it, unless you have a NEED to know about Gender Dysphoria you only read the titles and headlines, and move on.  My signature line says what was needed for me, and I am not as cut-up and healed as some Trans Women or Trans Men are and for them need to be.  I have other people for whom there must be Hormone Replacement Therapy, and others just a new razor blade every three days to cut off the stubble, and a few who look pretty and feminine with a full beard. 

[Charlize]

Dysphoria is in some ways like gender itself.  There are those who are cis gender.  They can enjoy the gender they were assigned at birth without ever desiring or presenting differently.  I simply didn't find myself there.  I found that dressing as a non assigned gender, especially in society and being recognized as that gender fulfilled some need i have.  I had no idea of the terms trans* or dysphoria.  I felt only shame at any variation from the norm.  My level of comfort and acceptance of self has changed over the years and the more i can accept that reality the better i can feel about myself in this world.  There is no particular goal for me except for that acceptance and comfort with myself.  Dysphoria comes when that comfort with my given body disappears.  In my experience that can happen regardless of surgery, presentation or place within the trans* spectrum.  That feeling comes and goes for me and i've grown to accept that as well.  Finding a comfortable spot has been a long and wonderful journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Guest]

My journey's been a strange one.

 

I hid my raging gender dysphoria for most of my life, and I was 64 when I came out to my wife and began taking steps to address the problem. I revealed my condition to the physician's assistant I was seeing at the VA Medical Center, and after having to meet with a psychologist and a psychologist I got a referral to the system's endocrinologist, who prescribed a hormone and anti-androgen regimen. The dysphoria soon vanished.

 

At that point, I was convinced I was on a path to transition. I pushed myself to seek volunteer office work in female mode and found people to be remarkably supportive. A couple of years later, while working my third such job, I began doing outreach, joined some groups and greatly expanded my online presence.

 

When the news broke about Caitlyn Jenner, and then there began to be plenty of stories about others who were on the front lines of the battle, I had an epiphany. I realized that I was working very hard to present myself as female for the benefit of others. I was no longer driven to do it for myself, and there seemed to be plenty of people coming out and willing and able to help educate the public.

 

Having followed all of the paths that were available to me, in the end I found myself content simply to accept my transgender status without having to demonstrate it any longer. It simply isn't as important as it was when I was trying to sort things out. But at age 76 I'm comfortable discussing the subject with anyone who wants to learn, and of course any doctor who treats me gets all the facts.

 

I never saw any of those changes coming, and somehow I ended up pretty much where I started but minus the mental anguish. Maybe the key to dealing with gender dysphoria is just to relax and go wherever it takes you.

[tracy_j]

I have found gender dysphoria to be very variable in that there can be several forms. I have never really experienced body dysphoria as far as I am aware. Yes there are times when I think some change would be good, but perhaps most people feel that way in some form, for example some cis women who feel their breasts are too big or too small. I just try to make the best with what I have.

 

My main issues have been social and situational dysphoria (perhaps both the same thing). Changing my dress and lifestyle have reduced this to the point that I wonder if they really existed, but I realise a return to my old life would soon bring them back. I have only really socially transitioned, not legally and not with hormones or surgery. I can see there would be benefit to me with hormone therapy, but it would be a big step which is against my nature (I don't like drugs).

 

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

Gender dysphoria is such a wierd thing, and the other transgender individuals I know have variances in how it affects them. I would add that for me, the more I dressed and time I spent female the more it hurt going back. Eventually leading me to go full time. Yes there was gender euphoria at times, especially early on when I was depressed otherwise. Now, it happens only infrequently--full time for two years there are just moments where I look at myself and now being post op just grinning ear to ear and sighing in relief. Counter to that, there are times (it has been a while since that happened) I just look at the mirror and see "him" and get dispondent. HRT and bottom surgery seem to be enough for me for now.