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Lauryn Michelle

Apparatus & Fences

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Lauryn Michelle

The term "trans" is nowhere in the poem, but believe me, this is a trans poem. Yhis came from.the ground of the unconcious.

 

 

"Apparatus & Fences"

 

The world attacked, 

I sprung up defenses,
Put up fences.

The world didn't seem to stop, 
So i kept up,
putting up fences,
putting up fences.

Obscure and mostly unseen, 
No looking-glass could determine me.
No reference for self I built upon what i had seen before i began building.
An apparatus was i, cold moving parts of machinery in the dark.
I pick up the old programs of other machine-dreams, download them, live them out "incomplete".
A nagging, a curse burns me, out of necessity I start to explore, because now there is some kind of noticable organic fire at my core.

My fences are burning, 
My fences are burning

The apparatus melts and protects me no more,
With a new heart i go into the world that attacked me before. Laugh at the insults, embrace its wildness with wonder and kindness.

I looked like a little boy and was loved, but i was also given nails and wood. Fear didnt let me know that i could grow, so,

I sprung up defenses
I put up fences.

My heart filled with grief at the time that had passed, but i then rejoiced knowing that freedom was in my grasp.
I could forgive myself, "i could only do what i knew", I'm still scared, but the world has referenced, I go forward within view.
Brave life begins

No more fences
No more fences

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Jani

Very nice,  I like the phrasing you use. 

 

Jani

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Lauryn Michelle

Thank you Jani😊

It was very therapuetic, definitely a tool in the toolbox for me.

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jae bear

love the machine and programming references! I'm lost in Gcode half the day and under machines the rest, your words really spoke to me!

Hugs,

Jae

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