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Hey, it's Alex!

I'm New, Confused, and Lost...

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Hey, it's Alex!

Hey everybody. So, for a long while, I have identified as non-binary. I've only told a very few of my close friends, however, I've never felt comfortable being called she or sometimes even them. Thinking back, I've always felt more comfortable being called by the male pronouns. I started to believe I may be transgender. Growing up, I always told myself there was no way I could be trans because I liked dress. I, of course, knew this was a lie. I didn't like dresses. I hated them. My mother, on the other hand, loved them and I always wanted to make her happy. This is also the same reason why I still have longish hair, which I hate. I'm confused and don't know what to do. Any advice?

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MaryMary

Hi, welcome to transpulse.

You have to get to know yourself. I would love to say it's easy but it's not.

All of that depends on your personnality of course. I delayed that for 20 years from puberty to 32 years old. I don't know how old you are. It's not really important in a way. You have to decide how long you will delay that.

 

You don't like dress? don't wear them. You have long hair and you don't like that? Cut them.

If you wake up one morning with man's clothing and short hair you will feel how you like that and you'll learn a little about yourself.

You have to do all of that, explore what you are and follow your own path.

 

Believe me, doing things because people want you to is not a path to happyness.

 

that's what advice I can give you... lol

 

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MaryMary

good luck and I'm sure to best is to come

Feel free to keep us informed :D I'm curious to know what you will learn

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Guest Rachel Gia

Hi Alex,

l know more people that identify as Non Binary then I know Trans people.

i also seem to know more Trans Men than I do Trans Women.

You may not be aware of it but your generation is a massive positive force in non normative gender acceptance and awareness.

Just love the you , you know you are .

if you can be comfortable with who you are then others will be comfortable with you.

Above all stay safe in your process of letting others into your truth.

Rachel

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Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Alex.  I understand very well your confusion and anxiety; it is common among people just starting out exploring their gender issues.  If possible, a talk with a gender therapist might help you decide what path is the best for you, or at least help you understand yourself better.

 

In the meantime, please look around these forums, and I'm sure you'll find others who have felt the same, and may offer good advice.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Jani

Hey Alex, welcome.  There are lots of good comments here.  Most important, be you.  You will be much happier.

 

Jani

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

 I only just got here myself, but the help and love here is amazing...

squishy hug,

Jae

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Hey, it's Alex!

Thank you all. It really means alot to get actual feedback and advice from people that either are having similar issues or have already gone through something similar. Everyone's advice i very helpful and like I said, it truly means a lot.

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

 I see you like drawing and writing! I am more of a technical drawing artist (trade profession) but I am working hard on improving my live subject art (really bad at the moment). And I just found my voice and wrote the first two poems of my whole life, it was far more intense that I could have possibly imagined! Keep drawing, keep writing, they are both very good for you!

squishy hugs,

Jae

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Hey, it's Alex!

Hey Jae Bear,

That's amazing. I'm a big fan of poetry and yeah, it can be pretty intense sometimes. It's pretty cool that you're an artist. Drawing (and writing) is great and you are very correct, they are both very good for you.

~Alex

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

I love to draw to relax, I honestly wish I was good enough to do a comic style antro set of characters, I would style it after my poems. Those poems are rough, I didn’t think that I’d cry the whole way through or every time I read them, they’re terrible and the form is awful but the content came from a place I keep locked up... I think I want to do a lot more writing, the poems seem to come easily to my head, almost like listening to music but sometimes I can’t shut it off. I hear it when I go to bed and I hear it when I wake up now and it’s really a bit tough as I nearly cry every time and it makes me late for work. But I know that it’s good for me and it opens parts of me that would never be heard if I didn’t allow myself to listen. so I encourage you to do the same, if you’re a writer you should write everything that you can imagine and let others see it so we can all benefit from your gift. If you love to draw you should draw as often as you can even if you’re terrible like me, the good artists are the ones that never quit.

big squishy hug,

Jae

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Hey, it's Alex!

Hey Jae Bear,

Yeah, I can understand your poetry problems. I have the same issue a large majority of the time. I use both writing and drawing as an outlet, so a lot of my feeling goes into them. This can be both good and bad, but it can definitely help sometimes. As for my drawing, I do not plan on stopping anytime soon. I also doubt you're as bad as you're making yourself out to be. If you want to do a comic style, go for it!

~Alex

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

Creative outlets such as those are never a waste of time even if they keep you from the routine responsibilities one has in daily life (Except maybe school). Nobody can take away the creative process that you’ve been gifted, so use it as much as you can and share your ability with the world! I really am quite terrible but one’s own standards are always different then we perceive,  my technical drawing is good but that’s to be expected, I do like to draw cars but that’s faded in interest over the years, I really feel like my art needs to come from my soul so lately I find anthro characters portray much of what I feel and I seem to connect with the idea much more than I do reality. There are some pretty darn good artists out there that I’m quite jealous of I wish my skills were up to the task of running out complete comic clips but sadly my skills are not ready to start there yet but I’m happy to draw and practice, and draw and practice, it makes me happy... The poem I wrote about bears and Bunny’s really let me spill something out that I could not have drawn properly. I’m really thinking poems might be a super good outlet for me but I know nothing of form I can only hear it in my head and hope that the cadence comes out right on the page. All the beautiful people here seem to understand even if what I write is such garbage, and to me the feelings in their hearts are much more important than the messy words on my page.

super big shquishy hug!

Jae

 

 

I Don’t often give out super big shquishy hugs, but when I do, it’s because someone made me very happy and I couldn’t control myself.

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Hey, it's Alex!

Hey Jae Bear,

I have to agree with you. Creative outlets often help us when other things can not and are great tools to use later in life. As for your 'issue' with your poetry, you may be interested in free verse. If you don't already know, free verse is poetry that doesn't have to rhyme and does not have a regular meter. This is a great kind of poetry because you make up your own rhythm as you go and it doesn't necessarily have to stick to a specific form. It is also a great place to start because it is fairly easy compared to some types of poetry.

~Alex

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

I will have to look into that! Sounds like a perfect fit for my terrible poetry! Bad or not I still love writing it, I've never done it before, but somehow it lets me say thing I can not articulate any other way...

Thank you & squishy hugs,

Jae

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jae bear

Hi Alex,

 I got out my daughters 'how to draw furries' book last night and realized it is for serious artists, not beginners... I think the author was just trying to show off a little. I am just going to keep knocking out the same little body form and bunny body overlay until I can do it from memory, I try to draw one every night if I can, just to keep that pencil moving. I might have to explore more digital methods, but I would really just use that to color in the pencil sketch anyway...

Hugs,

Jae

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Hey, it's Alex!

Hey Jae Bear,

That sounds like a great idea! It's always good to practice and then practice some more. Those books can be a bit difficult sometimes, but the usually are for different levels of artists. Keep drawing.

~Alex

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