My story

[Brenden McCormick]

Hello,

 

   When I was a child about 5 or 6 years old I used to play dress up with the clothing and accessories in my mother's closet. I just wasn't interested in boy's things. It was then I think my mom realized something wasn't just right. Over the years I kinda grew out of that so I assume she thought it was just a phase. I am now a sophomore in high school and I just don't know what to do! I plan on telling my mom I feel more feminine than I do masculin. I think crossdressing is the best thing for my transition into becoming a woman because I am terrified of plastic surgery and I just feel like I don't feel I need sex reassignment surgery to be who I am. I am looking for some advice on how to tell my mom!! Please help!! 

[Jani]

Welcome Brenden.   I saw your photo and you certainly do not need plastic surgery. Actually I believe the number of people that get FFS is rather low in comparison to the numbers in the TG community.   Not everyone needs it and it is expensive.  When I was your age I had the same androgynous look.  As to not needing GRS, that's fine.  Everyones journey is unique.  You may start out by dressing a little andro to see how you feel and stay there or move in other directions.  There is no wrong choice.  

 

Advice for telling parents can be hard as only you know them.  I would gather my thoughts as to what I am feeling and maybe why.  If you are not sure how they will react you might start by just telling one parent first, unless you think they would treat the news positively.   No doubt, it is hard to do but it will be the first of many people you will tell and you want them to hopefully be by your side.  You might ask them to set up an appointment with a counselor to discuss your thoughts.  I would avoid any religious affiliated counselor as they will possibly be biased.   As you are not at the age of majority you need to understand your parents may want to know about what you talk about.  I do not think the counselor can legally or ethically report to them but you would be wise to ask.  I understand some things we may want to discussion in therapy should be private.   

 

Best of luck and we're here to offer support and answer questions.

 

Jani 

[MaryEllen]

Hello Brenden,

Welcome to TransPulse.   Thank you for sharing with us.  As for coming out to your mom,  you could write her a letter and ask her to read it in private. Later, you could sit down with her and discuss any fears and questions she may have. Not knowing your mother, it's difficult to know how she would take it. If she is homo/transphobic, you may be in for a rough time. Hopefully, she would be understanding. One thing you could do is counsel with a gender therapist along with your mother. That would help with any fears that she may have and would answer a lot of questions that you both may have.

 

MaryEllen 

[Brenden McCormick]

Thank you so much! I needed that. 

[Charlize]

I would definitely come out to your mother as well as talking to a gender therapist.  I don't know where in PA you are but the Philly area has a great deal of support available.  You may be able to slow the progress of puberty at this point which would help you avoid many difficulties that we who transitioned later have faced.

Glad you've joined us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Brenden McCormick]

Thank you so much Charlize!