Don't Know Where to Begin

[soapdebray]

I'm not sure why I didn't do something like this before. Asking for help is still somewhat new to me I guess.

 

I want to transition but have no clue where I'd even begin. I live in Jacksonville, FL: a place with very few qualified trans-friendly endocrinologists. This State also necessitates that I receive a letter of recommendation from a counselor, an added expense. I'm not sure how I'd be able to afford an insurance plan to cover the visits. I'm not sure how I'd proceed with the research; I know I'll need an anti-androgen like Spiro coupled with a form of estrogen.

 

I have an interview for a second job tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that, with two jobs, I'll be able to afford something, but anxiety is telling me that it's a lost cause and this won't work out. I'm also a student and will only be able to keep one of the jobs I have (the higher-paying one) when the next term begins. Would anyone be willing to help me figure out what my options are? 

 

I feel strange, asking. It's just that I'm tired of the dysphoria and the crippling despair. Call me overly-dramatic but even my description fails to capture the torment. I'm ready to do something...but I don't know where to start.

[SugarMagnolia]

Hi soapdebray,

I'm terrible at asking for help, too. It does get easier with practice, though! 

Things may be a little better than you fear. Living in a college town may help and there are resources like Planned Parenthood that may be able to play a role.

I found the following resources. Hopefully other folks that live near you will also have ideas. My apologies if you've already found these!

- Transaction Florida Resource Guide : https://issuu.com/equalityflorida/docs/transguide_083115
- Planned Parenthood of Southwest and Central Florida (not right where you are but possibly worth a drive?): https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-southwest-central-florida/medical-services/transgender-hormone-services

- University of North Florida Transgender Resources: https://www.unf.edu/lgbtrc/Transgender_Resources.aspx

I'd encourage you to find some support group or LGBT Center in the area and reach out to them. Even if they don't provide the services that you need, they'll likely know someone that can help you find the best resources available in your area.

It can feel terrible, I know, to be unsure of the next step and to be suffering. All I can say is to have faith. I've often found that taking A step, even if it doesn't end up being the perfect step, can be the key to finding a path forward.

Hugs, 
Julie

[BrandiBri]

10 minutes ago, soapdebray said:

anxiety is telling me that it's a lost cause and this won't work out

Don't let anxiety control your emotions. It is just one of many emotions that we go through. I agree with Julie, if you can connect with a support group you would be able to interact with people that have gone or are going through the same thing you are going through.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

[Brenden McCormick]

Hey,

 

I'm also a student. I understand only being able to work one job. The Stress! I work at McDonalds part time. It's makes me so very happy that you decided to reach out. Everyone has their problems and climbs in life. I'm just going to give you a little bit about myself to try and calm and relax you. I'm a gay 16 year old boy. I love love love makeup and feminine clothing. So I consider myself a crossdresser. I consider myself partly trans because I love the body I was born with and I love to dress up as the opposite sex! I don't know much about transitioning but what I can tell you is that everything is going to be okay. No way is the wrong way to do what you want to do. It seems to me everything you said is the right way to go. I believe starting counseling is a great way to start your transition! Never be afraid to ask for help! There is always someone willing to listen. 

 

Best of luck/ Lots of love!, 

 

Brenden McCormick 

[soapdebray]

Thanks, everyone. I found a Planned Parenthood in my area. Hopefully I can start HRT through them.

 

(I feel slightly embarrassed x) I didn't think to look at PP)

[SugarMagnolia]

Please don't be embarrassed! I would have had no clue just a few months ago. It's not offered by PP everywhere and isn't the first place that those of us assigned male at birth think of for health care. 

[soapdebray]

1 hour ago, SugarMagnolia said:

Please don't be embarrassed! I would have had no clue just a few months ago. It's not offered by PP everywhere and isn't the first place that those of us assigned male at birth think of for health care. 

 

Definitely. A very cis-centric world we live in!

[Timber Wolf]

Hi soapdebray,

The biggest thing you can do is get support. We are here for you, transgender support groups, gender therapists. It's amazing how it can help. Being transgender is so lonely and painful without caring support. Now that you're here, you need never be alone again. We all know how it can hurt. But stick around and you can also know the relief and joy that can be found as we transition. And we can do it together!

 

I'm under severe financial constraints myself. I've learned how to appreciate and enjoy the small gains I make along the way, and hope for the future. I've learned not to look for a way to get there in one great leap, but rather to enjoy the walk as I go as best I can. When I find myself lamenting what I haven't been able to do yet, I focus on what I have. What I have done so far is amazing!

 

Lots of love and a big hug,

Timber Wolf?

[jae bear]

Dear Soapdebray,

 I truly feel for you and your situation... I think you will find much help, love and support here as I have. I can see in you the desire and strength to fight for your ability to live authentically, please know that is a valuable gift, don't let fear and anxiety creep in with out a fight. Fear and hopelessness can be paralyzing, don't give in, you will find a way, but don't do anything risky either, the authentic you needs the right now you to live and be healthy so she can have life. I myself am lucky to have even made it this far, and now I realize why I did, the girl inside me deserves life, and I am going to do everything in my power to save her... I am confident you can do the same.

Hugs,

Jae

[Raven1981]

Hello soapdebray

 

I can remember being in your place and having difficulties asking for help but yet you question yourself.  I can say that yes look for a very good therapist, and do your research.  Don't just go to any therapist, but look for someone that specialized in the Trans and LGTBQ community.  It is normal that yes before starting HRT and surgeries you do need to talk to a therapist and get a letter.  If you find a specialized therapist you love, you will naturally come out and feel very comfortable.

 

I was lucky to find my therapist in Phoenix, AZ and she is a wonderful person and is now the only therapist in the state that is 100% for the Trans and LGTBQ community.  She is also very well sought out that she has traveled to other countries and states to help out.  When you find a specialized therapist for help and support that insurance does not cover it.  Most insurance does not cover the cost of HRT and surgeries.  Some insurances mainly under a PPO style will cover and help.   In my opinion, I would talk with a therapist for a year since this is a very big decision and to help you out down the road.

 

Thank You

 

Amy

[Michelle F]

I am getting absolutely all of My needs met. No resistance at all.

 

Of course, I live in an LGPT Community run by a female Gay female Mayor, as well as, trans City Counsel members

[jo jo]

wow sounds a really beautiful place to live i wish every place was similar to yours