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Mallion

What is a good way to pass the time while waiting?

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Mallion

So I came out like.... 3 weeks ago now. Just last week my doctor wrote a letter of referral to the local Gender Clinic in Nottingham. The only thing is, here in the UK... it's a 2 year waiting list. 2 years! That's a long long time. I keep trying to tell myself, it's nothing, I'll get what I want eventually. But, it's still a long wait when I'm thinking about this everyday and how badly I want it. I just want to start receiving hormones and hopefully become more in line with myself at last. 

 

I mean I have hobbies and things like that, but is there a way to make yourself forget all about transisitioning for now, and to just ignore it until that phone call or letter in the post comes? Waiting is probably going to be the hardest part. 

 

Thank you. 

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Jani

As in any long term project the old adage about the best time to start being years ago or today does apply.  While you have to wait to get to the GIC you can start growing out your hair, keeping your nails trim and neat, maybe even apply a little colour.  You can introduce new clothing into your wardrobe.  Assuming you're not going full time right away, start with some androgynous pieces to get the flavour for what you eventually might want to be your style.  You can always add more feminine pieces as you go along.  

 

You don't have to give up anything you do as hobbies or diversions.  There are no male or female gendered activities. You can do whatever you like.  I've always been into clothing and looking nice, I like to sew, I love music but I also am into automobiles and do my own work on the ones I have.  I'm more careful of my hair and nails now but being a woman hasn't slowed me down.  

 

Waiting takes time but it doesn't have to be hard.

 

Jani

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SugarMagnolia

If you are able to, I'd highly recommend starting any necessary hair removal. Whether you do laser or electrolysis or both, it will take quite a while to get to a maintenance level. Voice training might also be something to look into. Our local state university offers vocal therapy for trans folks to help them feminize their voices. If that's something you're interested in, it could be a good way to stay occupied.

And Jani's got a great idea with trying to find your style. Understanding what types of clothes fit your body well, what colors look good with your coloring, and what you feel comfortable in will take some time to learn if you haven't already started down that path. 

Hugs,
Julie

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VickySGV

You can do about 90% of what you want to do as far as transitioning in that length of time since most of it you can do without medical approval, and if you do, the approval will be more readily assured.  Get yourself out to support groups, or to various pubs and clubs where Trans Folk are doing things.  Keep up here with your discussions with us is another thing to do.  Any place that is Trans accepting and friendly has things to do. 

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tracy_j

If you are going to the clinic in Nottingham then you are probably not too distant from me. That said, obviously slightly dependant on your actual location, you are in a pretty safe area in the East Midlands. For the most part you could continue as everyone has said. The waiting times are long (the last figure I have seen was 18 months but it does change). The last person I spoke to on here actually phoned the clinic they were referred to and got a more precise figure on their appointment as they had heard nothing. NHS waiting times and other clinic information is published. Check NHS Choices initially (  https://www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/Transhealth/Pages/Transhealthhome.aspx

[If you are not already aware]). I have not visited a clinic, or other professional, but live an androgynous / female lifestyle. It does get confusing at times as I live a somewhat dual identity, but have had few fears moving around anywhere I have been in the East Midlands. With my job I was visiting people in all areas around cities and countryside in Leicestershire and Nottinghamshire as well as Lincolnshire, and was always wearing makeup and looking very feminine. I had no problems (and quite a bit of support).

 

I do remember that I got more attention in my early, learning how to dress and act, days. It is really a case of fitting in with the norm and being confident. Things are very tiring at first as the constant stress takes it's toll. This is when things lapse and the world seems hostile. Try to relax and fall into the female lifestyle. It becomes natural.

 

Tracy

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Charlize

I very much like all the suggestions you have received.  Subtle changes in appearance are rarely seen.  Don't forget few people really look at others and certainly not in such a way that would notice a neater eyebrow, finger nails or longer hair.  I spent almost a year with a suitcase of clothes in the car allowing me to change in just a few moments.  That allowed me to begin shopping a bit, take a walk in a park or to go out to lunch.  When i did come out to my family i was actually relatively comfortable.  Tracy is quite right.....the stress of those first excursions is hard but i doubt medication or surgery makes that easier.  Don't forget that much of transition is in our minds.  Try to relax, breathe deep and enjoy the journey.  We are here to help as we can.  As was said to me when i shared my fears here:  "We've got your back".

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

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Gwen

I like all the above suggestions too. When I realized a transition was coming, I stopped cutting my very short hair and got my ears pierced. I also noticed that as time went on, adopting my new gender/identity sort of blended into my regular life. It just became part of me. I'd also suggest reading all you can. You'll be surprised how much this can inspire you. I highly recommend "Trans Bodies, Trans Selves." It's a large book and filled with lots of historical info, terms and many profiles of people living the life.

 

Best of luck to you, Mallion. And hello from across the pond :)

 

Gwen

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