Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Wanting a friend to understand me...


elizabeth22

Recommended Posts

I woke up today refreshed.  Finally and slowly accepting things has helped me regain a descent sleep schedule like REAL quick.  However this whole thing has me in a delimna.  I'm JAMMED in the system where when i was in the shelters, i would flip out in the middle of the night and leave.  

 

Metrocare / mental health services was asking why i wasnt staying on site because i had a case worker that said i was missing my appointments... and i said... honestly all that testoserone in that room makes me uncomfortable.  You should of saw her face

Next thing i know im getting what everyone called... Oh look at the lady gettting extra atention because the elderly and the ... few people LGBT there accepted me.  of course i did my best to regain some compuser.

So i got to ask to speak to a therapist whenever she was available. but then .. i firgured i didnt want to stomache it... too many people saying things in the shelter... but she asked.  so what pronouns do you prefer?

At this point i slammed my head on her table... like HARD and started crying.

with me leaving the site still, but being welcomed back in... being hospitalized becasue now DPD has me on flight / suicide risk... bc... i was kinda unstable... bad.

then i got put on IOP and they found a boarding home owner that happens to be accepting of LGBT, which i didnt understand why this boarding home was ... so different until a few weeks back he got me to calm down... because he said, either im taking you or the police are taking you.

of course i rather him take me because of issues i have with the police... them being aggressive with their handcuffs and all...

so i actually opened up to him... which he said, "You know God still loves you" after i opened up.... (btw he is gay but goes to a church that is big in dallas about accepting people in the LGBT community).  Of course after he said that , i didnt say anything and just stared out the window.

 

----

Link to comment

But I have been hospitalized a second time after i got home... only because the manager on site... wouldnt do his job and get up from his STUPID GAME... to OPEN THE CLOSET... and GET MY MEDS...

the same dude that strangled me , yelled at me, and put me in a chole hold when i was sayying i am done and just want to die

You -vagina-.

of course at this time i didn't know he knew that i was transgender....

 

------

Link to comment

However i am really concenred about my housing issue now because im paranoid about leaving the money order i got out because last night someone moved my wallet.  I still had the money order but when i text the owner he doesn't respond now.

 

and he is talking about closing the house down.

 

and i stayed in other boarding homes and shelters where other men would put their hands on me and i would shhrug them off... and they would be like "whats wrong dude, you a fruitcake.." and some like got verbally agressive, another tried to rob me... idk... im paranoid about my city... paranoid about my life... have isolated from my old life because ALL OF THEM ARE SO F*CKING RELIGIOUS it drove me nuts and i knew NONE of them wouldnt understand

 

I tried a roommate site but it wont let me tdo much.... idk

 

I want to find a roomate... and at this point ill move ANYWHERE

i just cant drie and need access to public transit

but ANYWHERE at the point because i want a friend that will hug me when im crying... and the ONLY friend i have that sorta understands because he is gay..... he is not much of the hugging type

i knw wthat when girls found out in the past... they were huggers and ... idk...

I want a real genuine person in my life because i... idk.. 

my insides are shaking and im doing anything they tell me... take my meds as perscribed but all i want is to have a friend to live with thaat knows the emptiness.. the resent ment and say its okay, you still matter....

Link to comment

However i am really concenred about my housing issue now because im paranoid about leaving the money order i got out because last night someone moved my wallet.  I still had the money order but when i text the owner he doesn't respond now.

 

and he is talking about closing the house down.

 

and i stayed in other boarding homes and shelters where other men would put their hands on me and i would shhrug them off... and they would be like "whats wrong dude, you a fruitcake.." and some like got verbally agressive, another tried to rob me... idk... im paranoid about my city... paranoid about my life... have isolated from my old life because ALL OF THEM ARE SO F*CKING RELIGIOUS it drove me nuts and i knew NONE of them wouldnt understand

 

I tried a roommate site but it wont let me tdo much.... idk

 

I want to find a roomate... and at this point ill move ANYWHERE

i just cant drie and need access to public transit

but ANYWHERE at the point because i want a friend that will hug me when im crying... and the ONLY friend i have that sorta understands because he is gay..... he is not much of the hugging type

i knw wthat when girls found out in the past... they were huggers and ... idk...

I want a real genuine person in my life because i... idk.. 

 

 

-------------

 

Interesting just before i was about to post this... one of my clinics i was leaving because they said they had no therapist for me called me bc they wanted to reschedule ... i said i went to parkland to talk to someone... but i mentioned how i felt like a nobody now... so dont use sir ma'am, anything.. and they are like oh no.. we take your insurance now hhow its setup as well.... and i talked with a counselor sorta... and she was like... you can see someone monday at 1030 wll that work? what is it... firday? wow... thats a new way of getting an appointment.  call when im crying ass i type this and they call..... 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 123 Guests (See full list)

    • KymmieL
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Betty K
    • Susie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
    • Carolyn Marie
      This topic reminds me of the lyrics to the Beatles song, "A Little Help From My Friends."   "What do you see when you turn out the lights?"   "I can't tell you but I know it's mine."   Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      @Ivy have you read the actual document?   Has anyone else out there read it?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am reading the Project 2025 document https://www.project2025.org/policy/   This will take some time.  I read the forward and I want to read it again later.   I read some criticism of it outside here and I will be looking for it in the light of what has been posted here and there.  Some of the criticism is bosh.   @MaeBe have you read the actual document?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...