Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Today is the big day.


Mickey

Recommended Posts

So after almost 4 years worth of fighting, the big day is finally here. My friend is picking me up about 11:15 so we can meet another friend at the surgery center. I check in at 12:30, and the surgery will be about 2, lasting about an hour. I've no idea how long recovery will be. My first check up with the Dr is 3 weeks from today.

I did have a bit of a shock when a lady from the Dr's office called me earlier this week. I was under the impression that my insurance would be covering the whole thing. I mean, I am dirt poor after all. But apparently not. I am responsible for 10%, which comes out to $350 and some change. I was a little upset and figured I would have to make arrangements to pay $5 a month.  I posted on Facebook about this, and within and hour, my friends had pitched in and I had almost $500. And 1 friend gave me $350 for this. I have also had friends give of themselves, which I value much mroe than money. One is picking me up, waiting at the surgery center, and then taking me back home. Another friend is driving in from Jackson Tennessee, I'm in Memphis. She's gonna be my nurse for a little while. Another friend is cooking some meals for me, while I'm in recovery. They came by last night and dropped off a few meals to get me through tomorrow. And other friends have given so much emotional support.

 

I am happy this day is finally here. And I am looking forward to living my life, more comfortably.

Link to comment
4 minutes ago, Amy LeBlanc said:

Congrats on your surgery coming up.  Which surgery are you getting?  

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

A bi-lateral orchiectomy with scrotaplasty. This Dr asked me if I wanted him to do the scrotaplasty "...So things will lay flatter." And he asked before I could even mention it.

At this point, I am just trying to not think about how hungry I am.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Mickey!   You are so blessed to have so many good friends who care for you.   I'll be thinking of you today.  Let us know how you are when you get a moment.  

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment

Well, today was a huge disappointment. I made it all the way to the bed and surgical gown, with the IV in my arm, when the anesthesiologist comes in. The nurse had noticed some slight  in my lower legs. And then this anesthesiologist comes in and as we're talking he checks my legs. He finished and moved his hand to the inside of my mid thigh. And left it there while we talked. Then told the urologist that he wasn't putting me to sleep because of the edema. THAT WASN'T EVEN BAD AT ALL. He was a total jerk to me, constantly asking me if I had congestive heart failure, the NOT listening to me when I told him NO. And that my heart Dr has said multiple times that I have a healthy heart. So surgery was cancelled. So I am mad as hell and extremely disappointed.

Link to comment

I am really sorry to hear that. I can't blame you for feeling that way. I would most likely would be even more upset and mad that you would not want to be around me. I hope you can get it done very soon. Take care and let us know what happens. Hugs! Susan

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm sorry to hear this.  Have they given you a plan of action for "recovery" and a reschedule?

 

Jani

Link to comment

I have some calls to make this morning. First to my heart Dr, so they can send a letter stating that my heart is healthy. Second to my urologists office to reschedule the surgery. And this time, the same anesthesiologist will NOT be involved. I also need to find out who I can make a complaint with, against the anesthesiologist for inappropriately touching me, and making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Link to comment

Hey there. I would be calling a lawyer that deals with that kind of thing. I am not sure what area that falls under but I am sure there is one there. I don't blame you for how you are feeling but Jeff's a positive attitude and keep up on everyone that needs to be involved. Sounds like your doctor and others are behind you! You in girl!!! Hope this helps. Susan

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
20 hours ago, Mickey said:

 I also need to find out who I can make a complaint with, against the anesthesiologist for inappropriately touching me, and making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

 

I do wonder about the touching. I am not a doctor so couldn't say for certain, but as there was a possible circulatory issue could he have just been checking a femoral pulse? I think you should ask for an explanation, but it does seem that it may well be innocent to me. Particularly as it sounds like you were not alone together. As I say, I am not medically qualified, and was not there but it is easy to check.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
1 hour ago, tracy_j said:

 

I do wonder about the touching. I am not a doctor so couldn't say for certain, but as there was a possible circulatory issue could he have just been checking a femoral pulse? I think you should ask for an explanation, but it does seem that it may well be innocent to me. Particularly as it sounds like you were not alone together. As I say, I am not medically qualified, and was not there but it is easy to check.

 

Tracy

When Drs are checking for a pulse, don't they normally use their fingers? He had his whole hand on the inside of my thigh, almost midway up it. The whole thing just felt... off. Wrong. Very uncomfortable.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm sorry you are going through this Mickey.  I had trouble getting clearance for surgery due to cardiac issues.  Often the problem is due to potential problems with anesthesia.  They decided to do the procedure under local but because i was talking so much i was eventually put under.  i guess being a chatty Cathy made me even more comfortable in the end.  I can understand your frustration.  Try to take a deep breath and do whatever it takes to reschedule your surgery.

I would let the "hand" issue drop just because you've got plenty on your plate already.

If it helps any i had a similar surgery and am happy with the results.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Mickey,

 

I can certainly understand your frustration.   That has to be a total let-down.   Hopefully you can get things rescheduled quickly. 

 

While you may have thought the swelling was "not that bad" in your legs, any swelling would be something to note and consider preop/pre-anesthesia.  While the anesthesiologist may have been overly cautious, he's also keeping your safety in mind.  Anesthesia can take a left turn very quickly.  People tend to think that surgery is very exciting as it's portrayed on TV - constant motion and drama.  Generally it's hours of routine boredom punctuated occasionally by a few moments of sheer terror.  That "terror" is generally when people have an unexpected bad reaction to the anesthesia. 

 

Best of luck!

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I would always prefer they err on the side of caution.  Years ago a guy I worked with had shoulder surgery and never came out of the anesthesia.  He was young and healthy.  it was so sad.  We never know how our bodies will react to it.   You'll be fine and your day will come. 

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
22 hours ago, Mickey said:

When Drs are checking for a pulse, don't they normally use their fingers? He had his whole hand on the inside of my thigh, almost midway up it. The whole thing just felt... off. Wrong. Very uncomfortable.

 

As I said, I am not a doctor. I have worked extensively in a medical field though and have seen doctors checking patients often. Obviously I could be wrong, but it sounds fairly normal to me. There are many clues an experienced doctor can pickup from seemingly odd procedures. I could attempt to explain about  swellings and temperature differences etc but I am not qualified to. Personally I would just let it go.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
On 9/22/2018 at 12:16 AM, Mickey said:

And that my heart Dr has said multiple times that I have a healthy heart.

I guess this could be a bit more clear. I saw my heart Dr a couple of months ago. I want to say in July. Maybe June. Anyway, when I saw my heart Dr last, he said my heart was healthy. The same thing he has been saying every 6 months, since 2013. I know what congestive heart failure looks like. One of my dearest friends had it, when we first met. Then she had heart surgery and is doing and looking much better. I can say with utmost confidence, I DO NOT have congestive heart failure. The anesthesiologist was a complete jerk. And that is putting it mildly and politely, for the sake of this forum.


I know y'all think that this is support, trying to convince me that this man did the right thing, but you are wrong. I know me. I know my body. And I have been fighting for this procedure for FOUR years now. And it has truly been a fight. The first year I was fighting with my insurance company. And unbeknownst to me, my Urologist at the time. Ever since it was approved by my insurance company, I've been fighting systemic transphobia among Drs and hospital surgical centers. While my new Urologist, I feel, is on my side and willing to help, that does NOT mean that his whole team is also on my side and willing to help.

 

And I find myself wondering if you're really suggesting that what I consider to be sexual assault, that I just let it go? Really?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You go with what you feel is right. We are not there and can only advise on our experiences. As I said, 'I could be wrong'. My suggestion to let it go was more about you getting to where you want to be rather than getting into a complex (essentially) side issue of mis-conduct which may delay that.

 

Tracy

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 175 Guests (See full list)

    • MaeBe
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Selkimur
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    earthpatch
    Newest Member
    earthpatch
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...