Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

What @NB Adult said. I think we all have at least one family member who went off the rails when we came out. You can make them happy or make yourself happy, but probably  not both. It sucks, sure but they're the ones that choose not to accept you. You shouldn't be expected to try and fix that for them. 

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2017

  • KymmieL

    1640

  • Mmindy

    1361

  • Ivy

    1175

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator

Jose, I actually have the company on my side. They recently added to their discrimination policy, gender identity, and I am not afraid to us it if need be.   How is Springfield in accepting transgender people?

 

I had planned on talking with my wife and see if I can find out why she went straight to the big D. I was going to do it when my nosy son isn't home. He plays poker with the guys Sat night. Unfortunately they changed it to tomorrow. So I hope to talk to her tomorrow.

Thankfully I have the resources to be able to move. With my job and I also have my VA disability.  

Kymmie

Link to comment

I’m not really sure how accepting it is. I know that I have had some difficulty myself but I’m not sure how others have been treated in general. I do know that some trans women have been unjustly targeted by police for presenting female with a male gender marker. I know there’s quite a few resources here. I know that the college campus has more open minded people, and most of the pride attendees come from the university. Which was a huge turnout this year. Probably 3-4x as many people as to the car shows during summer. But it’s also got a strong presence of people who live here all year round that do discriminate. And it’s got a large enough presence of conservatives that there’s two bible college campuses and an assembly of god credit union. So there’s usually a huge divide in the population. The conservatives narrowly overturned a city resolution that was supposed to include the anti discrimination language into law concerning gender identity. My guess is that it was a lack of conservative voters the first time it went to ballot and a bit of complaisance on the part of liberal voters the second time. I wasn’t here for that but I have noticed a lot more tension compared to several years ago over the issue. Let’s just say that the majority of people really don’t care most of the time. I’m sure a lot of people panic moved after the overturned resolution, but there’s still a transgender presence in the town, it’s just not always visible. I have seen several transgender women on the bus in the summer time but I present more androgynous because I lack the wardrobe and decent makeup so I don’t get “ma’amed” usually. Although I have been early in the morning and sometimes by roofers at a distance. I personally can’t wait until I can blend in better because it just saves a lot of confusion with people who usually just look at me quizzically. I do get a lot of genuine smiles from women usually. Guys? It’s a mixed bag, but I get creepy vibes a lot.  Some are uncomfortable around me but polite. Some look at me and I can see the hatred. And a lot of it depends on where you are in town and what you are doing. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well asked my wife why she went straight to the big D. She said she married a man.

 

I need to let her know if I decide to continue to transition and we get a divorce. That I will be moving, I will not be able to live in the same town as she does without being married to her.  I will have to make sure that If I visit my sons and their families that it is not when she is. If it happens I probably just severe all contact with her. It will hurt too much to even see her. 

 

I hope this makes sense to somebody as I barely does to me.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Good morning! Sipping my coffee, cool weather with clearish skies.

KymmieL hopefully things won't have to devolve into further difficulties for you.  But sometimes a change of place - starting over - all there is to do. Whichever way things go, I certainly wish you the best, smooth sailing, fair winds and following seas as the sailors say.

I'm sure you know the VA is very transferrable. They will not only take your case in a new location, but I find that at every appointment I get asked "are you able to eat, are you in fear for your safety, do you have a place to live, is anyone hitting/abusing you?"

As well as "have you fallen recently?"

I feel really blessed to have my own home/studio away from my female partner, who has displayed some very negative reactions towards me in my feminine side. Getting away to another town has its advantages.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

TammyAnn, That is my strategy on the move. Getting away starting a new. I guess that I am just waiting for the right position to open up at the home office. There is one that I have put in for in the past in another location. That is one option but something keeps me here. that "L" word. Or maybe it is not wanting to move in the winter. My mind is in such turmoil right now it isn't funny. But I put on a male face and do what is expected of me. 

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
58 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

TammyAnn, That is my strategy on the move. Getting away starting a new. I guess that I am just waiting for the right position to open up at the home office. There is one that I have put in for in the past in another location. That is one option but something keeps me here. that "L" word. Or maybe it is not wanting to move in the winter. My mind is in such turmoil right now it isn't funny. But I put on a male face and do what is expected of me. 

 

Kymmie

Not to make light of your situation, but I moved during the winter, once.

My washing machine slipped off the dolly, fell on its side then slide down the hill a block away.

I'm not wishing a winter move on anyone!

Link to comment

Monday morning Blaaa.  Coffee is gone.  Now I suppose I have to get somethings done at work.

Some of which mean heading out to go do inspection at remote clinics around the hospital campus.  Its so cold out too.  Sigh.

Oh well.  Its money...

 

 

Link to comment

Morning everyone. Got to school safely and now in 2nd period American Lit. Hope everyone is having a great day. 

 

Yesterday night I came out to my stepmom as bisexual and she was pretty accepting. I held back on telling them because I didn't want them to think I was a lesbian, (Noting against them, I am just a guy).

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

Morning everyone. Got to school safely and now in 2nd period American Lit. Hope everyone is having a great day. 

 

Yesterday night I came out to my stepmom as bisexual and she was pretty accepting. I held back on telling them because I didn't want them to think I was a lesbian, (Noting against them, I am just a guy).

 

Two thumbs up Aidan!

Link to comment
55 minutes ago, Aidan5 said:

Thank you for the kind replies. 

 

Also thinking about posting some of my artwork after school!

Oh! Please do! That sounds awesome!

٩( ᐛ )و

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

Thank you for the kind replies. 

 

Also thinking about posting some of my artwork after school!

Sounds like that discussion went well.

As to seeing your artwork, well sure.

I might even be persuaded to post some of mine, too.

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, TammyAnne said:

Sounds like that discussion went well.

As to seeing your artwork, well sure.

I might even be persuaded to post some of mine, too.

 

You both should, it would be appreciated by all!

Link to comment

My morning is going as good as it can I suppose.

Still have a full travel mug due to the freezing rain we are having in Vermont.  No time to drink it being white knuckle driving on the way to work. LOL

Hope you all have a great day.

 

Link to comment

Clear sunny day here in the Ozarks.

Coffee is so good.

Dr. visit today - well actually group therapy technically.

These are usually positive groups. But full of desperate, lonely people sometimes.

Wish everyone a great day. Be safe out there!

Link to comment

I’m not really awake. It’s supposed to be a sunny day. I didn’t get anything finished yesterday that I wanted to and I’m still exhausted even though I slept a good chunk of the night. It feels later in the week than it is. Am I even on this planet? What was I supposed to remember? It’s probably a good time to make breakfast and actually try to get something accomplished. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Just got in from the gym. It's overcast. Supposed to be warm (comparatively, in the 40's anyway) and wet today. I was noticing how we still have green grass covered by snow and that the trees haven't lost half their leaves yet. What happened to fall?

I fed the cats, and now I'm sitting at my keyboard drinking (protein shake) my breakfast with a cat in my lap. He seems happy. He's purring anyway.

Working up the energy to go upstairs, shower and make myself look like a person again. Then I'm going to spend the day writing.

 

Game night tonight though, so I'm looking forward to that.

 

Nothing special. It's going to be a gray sort of day.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Purged some worn out stuff from my undie drawer and odered four Coobie bras that just shipped. They work when I want to look perky, the Aah Bras tend to slightly compress the goods. It's all a matter of time and place when deciding which to wear.

Link to comment

I feel good right now and my morning wasn't terrible, but last night was. 

 

My dad was making fun of a transgender woman (I forget her name) He showed a picture of her to my brother and asked if she was hot, my brother said yes and my dad laughed and chanted "Brad likes a man, Brad likes a man!" So my dad walked to the counter where I was washing dishes and told me that "Brad likes a guy" so I told him "Good on brad for liking a girl, but I don't really care about his interests." Then my parents decided to lecture me on "Being disrespectful" and that "I am just a kid and not on their level" even though they openly disrespected a transgender, knowing I am trans and won't stand for that. I got yelled at and I just went to my room to cool off, it didn't help that my stepmom had me skip my therapy appointment. But my dog made me happy because he looks like a seal.

Link to comment
44 minutes ago, Aidan5 said:

I feel good right now and my morning wasn't terrible, but last night was. 

 

My dad was making fun of a transgender woman (I forget her name) He showed a picture of her to my brother and asked if she was hot, my brother said yes and my dad laughed and chanted "Brad likes a man, Brad likes a man!" So my dad walked to the counter where I was washing dishes and told me that "Brad likes a guy" so I told him "Good on brad for liking a girl, but I don't really care about his interests." Then my parents decided to lecture me on "Being disrespectful" and that "I am just a kid and not on their level" even though they openly disrespected a transgender, knowing I am trans and won't stand for that. I got yelled at and I just went to my room to cool off, it didn't help that my stepmom had me skip my therapy appointment. But my dog made me happy because he looks like a seal.

Lets face it.  Parents can suck sometimes.  

Mine did/do even to this day.  I'm 52 and still get the beat down talking too by my mom.  Though I can just tell her to "take a hike" (with much sterner language) and not deal with her.  You my friend are in a different boat that most of us have been in.  Keep strong.

Link to comment
45 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Lets face it.  Parents can suck sometimes.  

Mine did/do even to this day.  I'm 52 and still get the beat down talking too by my mom.  Though I can just tell her to "take a hike" (with much sterner language) and not deal with her.  You my friend are in a different boat that most of us have been in.  Keep strong.

I will stay strong. I only have 1 and a half year left til I can be on my own and cut them out of my life until I am stable with our relationship. Thank you for your kind words.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Aidan5 said:

I feel good right now and my morning wasn't terrible, but last night was. 

 

My dad was making fun of a transgender woman (I forget her name) He showed a picture of her to my brother and asked if she was hot, my brother said yes and my dad laughed and chanted "Brad likes a man, Brad likes a man!" So my dad walked to the counter where I was washing dishes and told me that "Brad likes a guy" so I told him "Good on brad for liking a girl, but I don't really care about his interests." Then my parents decided to lecture me on "Being disrespectful" and that "I am just a kid and not on their level" even though they openly disrespected a transgender, knowing I am trans and won't stand for that. I got yelled at and I just went to my room to cool off, it didn't help that my stepmom had me skip my therapy appointment. But my dog made me happy because he looks like a seal.

 

Dad sounds a bit immature if you don't mind my saying so! My dog approves of your attitude, so do I. 

thumb_IMG_0177_1024.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Aidan5 said:

I feel good right now and my morning wasn't terrible, but last night was. 

 

My dad was making fun of a transgender woman (I forget her name) He showed a picture of her to my brother and asked if she was hot, my brother said yes and my dad laughed and chanted "Brad likes a man, Brad likes a man!" So my dad walked to the counter where I was washing dishes and told me that "Brad likes a guy" so I told him "Good on brad for liking a girl, but I don't really care about his interests." Then my parents decided to lecture me on "Being disrespectful" and that "I am just a kid and not on their level" even though they openly disrespected a transgender, knowing I am trans and won't stand for that. I got yelled at and I just went to my room to cool off, it didn't help that my stepmom had me skip my therapy appointment. But my dog made me happy because he looks like a seal.

 

Wow, that is some parenting fail right there. They're right though, you're not on their level. You can probably look down into the mud and see where they're coming from though. Good on you for trying not to get that stuff on you.

 

Not really sure where your mom gets off on having you skip therapy either. Parenting fail again.

 

Good on doggo for cheering you up though. That's what a Good Boy is best at. I mean he's not a cat, but I'm biased. ?

 

I keep going over that and thinking, "Man, I hope he gets to go to college out of state."

 

I hope today goes better for you bro. I swear it gets better after you move out.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 132 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Mmindy
    • Petra Jane
    • MaryEllen
    • Wicked juggalo
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...