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Raven1981

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Hello All:

 

So I just want to share and rant that it looks like I have been disowned by my family on my dad's side.  Short story is my mom and dad are divorced.  During from 6th grade up to Senior year high school have not heard from my dad or anyone on my dad's side of family.  Then my dad and his family came into my life.  Now that I came out, and I am living full time and no longer hiding, they have ghosted me.

 

Much like what my mom did when I was young and I am doing it, I have tried to be nice and reach out with phone calls, texts, emails, snail mail, pictures, facebook and get no response.  I have gone as far as to invite them to my house for the holiday season with no response.  So I guess that it means my dad and his side of the family has all disowned me.

 

I dont want to dwell on it, but guess they are going to miss out on getting to know me.  I cannot say that I have tried and tried every means of communication and yet they dont respond.  So it looks like I am all alone.

 

So this is my first holiday season celebrating all alone.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

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  • Root Admin

Smelly Stuff does indeed happen and this kind happens to a large chunk of us.  CHOSEN FAMILY is something that comes about in the Trans Community.  I will bet that if you look for it there will be an open dinner put on by a number of supportive groups where you will meet your Trans Family members and have good food and a good time.  They may look strange or even a bit scary, but they will all share your story.  If there is a Metropolitan Community Church near you, they often have dinners since they minister to the LGBTQ community and the LGB share our family cut off experience as well on holidays.

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  • Forum Moderator

Amy I'm sorry you have to deal with this but it is for the best as now you know definitely how they feel.  Fill that space in your heart with love.  There are many people that still love and respect you.  And some you may not know yet!   

 

I agree with Vicky.  I have met some of the most amazing people through the support groups I belong to.  Yes, some may look a little "different" than you but look inside.  They are living their lives as they wish, just as you are.  Reach out and you will find a whole new branch of "family" you never knew were there.

 

Hugs, Jani

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I'm so sorry Amy. You're not all alone. You have us. If you need someone to talk to maybe we can setup a skype cal. I know that helped me in the process.

 

Maybe also look for a local support group.

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  • Forum Moderator

Amy, this must be so difficult right now.  I can only imagine.  At least now you're able to see their true colors.  It's crazy to think that the ones responsible for bringing us into this world can lack so much compassion and depth.  This can only make you a stronger and even more compassionate person yourself.

 

I'm so sorry,

Susan R?

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I know how hard that is, being cut off by blood family. And I agree with the above posters that have talked about your chosen family. I found someone that is such a dear friend, and I spend a lot of holidays with her and her daughter. We also spend a lot of time together anyway. We just make the holidays special. Look for your chosen family. They are out there, waiting for you. They will bring you in, to the family they've created. And they will love you for just who you are.

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Thank You all.  I do go to my Therapist support group that she has once a month.  I always love going there.  Right now, all I have is my mom that she is coming around.  But for the rest of my family.  Have not heard from them at all.  I have tried to be nice with reaching out many different ways, but just have not heard back in months.  Guess that is it for me.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

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My older younger sister never really accepted me. It didn’t matter how well I passed. I only speak to her at Christmas to be civil. 

 

You’re not alone in feeling rejected. I’m sorry that you have to go through this but that is their problem and not yours. ?

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8 hours ago, RithiaAllen said:

My older younger sister never really accepted me. It didn’t matter how well I passed. I only speak to her at Christmas to be civil. 

 

You’re not alone in feeling rejected. I’m sorry that you have to go through this but that is their problem and not yours. ?

Hello.

 

I know it's there problem.  But is there a way to get rid of the hurt?

 

 

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I don't know if the hurt ever goes away completely, but I suspect that time will dull it. I am going through much the same situation as you, only with my daughter. We are on shaky ground, she does not talk about me or how she feels. She has 8 kids at home and will allow me to see the kids as long as I don't go all "girly-girl"? Her and her husband are conservative Christians and have no intention of telling the kids. They did say that as the kids get older I will be able to talk to them, but because of their religious beliefs they won't tell any one of them. I can go androgynous, so I guess that compromise will have to do, as I love those kids so much!

 

A big bear Hug,❤️

Brandi

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  • 11 months later...

Sweetie its hard when people who are family reject us...i was an addict for alot of years and even being clean and sober for 17 years they still reject me...but i am a mtf transgirl in the process of transformation to the true me...i know they would even have another reason to turn me away...i have come to the point that they are missing out...i have learned to ignore them and continue with my life and be happy...i have a wife who is totally ok with all this and encourages me...so stick with people who will lift you up and forget the rest...dont let ignorant people dictate your new life...enjoy life to the fullest...and their are good people here who understand...be happy no matter what...

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