Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Raven1981

family contact

Recommended Posts

Raven1981

Hello All:

 

So I just want to share and rant that it looks like I have been disowned by my family on my dad's side.  Short story is my mom and dad are divorced.  During from 6th grade up to Senior year high school have not heard from my dad or anyone on my dad's side of family.  Then my dad and his family came into my life.  Now that I came out, and I am living full time and no longer hiding, they have ghosted me.

 

Much like what my mom did when I was young and I am doing it, I have tried to be nice and reach out with phone calls, texts, emails, snail mail, pictures, facebook and get no response.  I have gone as far as to invite them to my house for the holiday season with no response.  So I guess that it means my dad and his side of the family has all disowned me.

 

I dont want to dwell on it, but guess they are going to miss out on getting to know me.  I cannot say that I have tried and tried every means of communication and yet they dont respond.  So it looks like I am all alone.

 

So this is my first holiday season celebrating all alone.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

Smelly Stuff does indeed happen and this kind happens to a large chunk of us.  CHOSEN FAMILY is something that comes about in the Trans Community.  I will bet that if you look for it there will be an open dinner put on by a number of supportive groups where you will meet your Trans Family members and have good food and a good time.  They may look strange or even a bit scary, but they will all share your story.  If there is a Metropolitan Community Church near you, they often have dinners since they minister to the LGBTQ community and the LGB share our family cut off experience as well on holidays.

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Amy I'm sorry you have to deal with this but it is for the best as now you know definitely how they feel.  Fill that space in your heart with love.  There are many people that still love and respect you.  And some you may not know yet!   

 

I agree with Vicky.  I have met some of the most amazing people through the support groups I belong to.  Yes, some may look a little "different" than you but look inside.  They are living their lives as they wish, just as you are.  Reach out and you will find a whole new branch of "family" you never knew were there.

 

Hugs, Jani

Share this post


Link to post
RithiaAllen

I'm so sorry Amy. You're not all alone. You have us. If you need someone to talk to maybe we can setup a skype cal. I know that helped me in the process.

 

Maybe also look for a local support group.

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R

Amy, this must be so difficult right now.  I can only imagine.  At least now you're able to see their true colors.  It's crazy to think that the ones responsible for bringing us into this world can lack so much compassion and depth.  This can only make you a stronger and even more compassionate person yourself.

 

I'm so sorry,

Susan R🌷

Share this post


Link to post
Mickey

I know how hard that is, being cut off by blood family. And I agree with the above posters that have talked about your chosen family. I found someone that is such a dear friend, and I spend a lot of holidays with her and her daughter. We also spend a lot of time together anyway. We just make the holidays special. Look for your chosen family. They are out there, waiting for you. They will bring you in, to the family they've created. And they will love you for just who you are.

Share this post


Link to post
Raven1981

Thank You all.  I do go to my Therapist support group that she has once a month.  I always love going there.  Right now, all I have is my mom that she is coming around.  But for the rest of my family.  Have not heard from them at all.  I have tried to be nice with reaching out many different ways, but just have not heard back in months.  Guess that is it for me.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Share this post


Link to post
RithiaAllen

My older younger sister never really accepted me. It didn’t matter how well I passed. I only speak to her at Christmas to be civil. 

 

You’re not alone in feeling rejected. I’m sorry that you have to go through this but that is their problem and not yours. 🤗

Share this post


Link to post
Raven1981
8 hours ago, RithiaAllen said:

My older younger sister never really accepted me. It didn’t matter how well I passed. I only speak to her at Christmas to be civil. 

 

You’re not alone in feeling rejected. I’m sorry that you have to go through this but that is their problem and not yours. 🤗

Hello.

 

I know it's there problem.  But is there a way to get rid of the hurt?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
BrandiBri

I don't know if the hurt ever goes away completely, but I suspect that time will dull it. I am going through much the same situation as you, only with my daughter. We are on shaky ground, she does not talk about me or how she feels. She has 8 kids at home and will allow me to see the kids as long as I don't go all "girly-girl"🙁 Her and her husband are conservative Christians and have no intention of telling the kids. They did say that as the kids get older I will be able to talk to them, but because of their religious beliefs they won't tell any one of them. I can go androgynous, so I guess that compromise will have to do, as I love those kids so much!

 

A big bear Hug,❤️

Brandi

Share this post


Link to post
tgtimothy

Sweetie its hard when people who are family reject us...i was an addict for alot of years and even being clean and sober for 17 years they still reject me...but i am a mtf transgirl in the process of transformation to the true me...i know they would even have another reason to turn me away...i have come to the point that they are missing out...i have learned to ignore them and continue with my life and be happy...i have a wife who is totally ok with all this and encourages me...so stick with people who will lift you up and forget the rest...dont let ignorant people dictate your new life...enjoy life to the fullest...and their are good people here who understand...be happy no matter what...

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 119 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • Alan
    • Willa
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,714
    • Total Posts
      630,062
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,082
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Liebchenmellon
    Newest Member
    Liebchenmellon
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amanda Amethyst
      Amanda Amethyst
      (66 years old)
    2. rorylm
      rorylm
      (70 years old)
  • Posts

    • ShawnaLeigh
      Hello Spence!  This is a energizing place to find others just like you. I too do not know anyone in person who is trans except my gender therapist.  This forum has been an excellent source of acceptance and knowledge for me.   Im glad you found us!
    • Susan R
      Welcome Spence. You’ve come to the right place for good discussion, friendship, knowledge and sometimes on occasion we toss a little wisdom into the mix. So join in the discussions and feel free to share a bit about yourself if you like.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Spencer
      Hello my brothers,   A while back, one of my coworkers pointed out to me that I dressed like a college boy. It was a wake-up call for me. It brought to light that I actually have no clue what I'm doing with my clothes.   So, Any advice for finding a style that suits you?  And where do I find men's clothes that fit? Men's fashion magazine recommendations? Websites?   I'm wired to pick up shoes and tees that young women would buy, but I have no clue what is actually popular and liked by other men. Hold on just a second, I need to phone someone... *brrrrinnngg* *brrriiiiiing* (Hey GOD, having a childhood where I could have grown up surrounded by other boys 24/7 woulda been REEEAL nice, you hear me, punk!? Huh!? Maybe I'd know what shoes to buy! ...Though I have to say, the locker room situation was nice... lots of good memories on the girls' side in Middle School... but where were we. I'm not through with you, yet!) *bleeeep*   Okay you guys, I have to go fight with Christ, so I'll be back to read your comments.   Thanks!      
    • Spencer
      Hey everyone! My name is Spencer, but you can call me Spence.    I started T over 2 years ago. I came here for a sense of community and belonging, since I don't know any other transgender people in person.    
    • Susan R
      That should be interesting...you’ll have to share how it all went.  I will be doing the same in the next few weeks if all works out.
    • DonnaBall
      Well I finally brought it up to her a few days ago and she was ready to deal with it, and to my surprise and relief, she was agreeable to everything that I had proposed.  I think she just wants to get this separation over with so we can stop living together under this cloud.  It will still take a while though as I need to get a mortgage to keep the condo and pay her the share of our assets and then she will have to find a condo for herself, get a mortgage and close and move out.  That all takes months.  I can't wait to start living as Donna full time. 
    • VickySGV
      We now know a judge to avoid.  He could and may find himself up on judicial ethics violation charges in the future.  I was just reading something from an actual elected trial judge about that sort of thing.  
    • TrIIIy
      Hi, Dillon. I live with my mom, and she is very resistant to my transition. She doesn’t even like to talk about it.  But she is getting better about it. She even took me to my appointment to get my first testosterone shot recently, which is huge for her!  Having parents who support you is such a comfort, but many of us don’t have that. But that can change over time. My family is starting to use my preferred name and pronouns, if only sporadically. I try to take each correctly gendered occasion as a small personal victory.  Celebrate the little things on your journey. Big things are coming!
    • VickySGV
      Better yet, go into a beauty supply store that has clip in hair extensions, (the same type of store that sells the dye) and buy one or two colors of the cheapest ones to try out, and then you will do even less than the damage even dye would.  The extensions are fun to use and do not cost much in synthetic hair types. https://www.sallybeauty.com/color-strip-clip-in-hair-extension/HAIRDO2.html   I buy things at Sally Beauty supply but other places have them too. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/01/trump-appointed-judge-rules-trans-people-no-right-called-personal-pronouns/     Carolyn Marie
    • Robin68
      You are probably better off discussing your physical options with a physician. Maybe you've already done that. There are other FtM members here who could also offer helpful advice. I wish you the best of luck! Believe me, I relate to your feelings of dysphoria.   Hugs,   Robin68
    • TransMex
      Hello everyone. I would like to thank you very much for your responses and I would also like to apologize for not doing so earlier. After reading your responses (and some that I have received elsewhere) I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on my options and the future. I'm actually still thinking about it right now, I am truly not sure which path I will take exactly at this moment. However, I should not have neglected to respond to all of you, that have helped give me some peace of mind. I am no longer panicking as I was before, when I felt I had a biological time bomb on my person. The fact that I was able to take my time thinking about this at all is in large part thanks to you all.   Vicky, your kind words despite my fumbling around with these forums in my panic were invaluable to me. As I mentioned earlier I do not interact with many people neither irl nor online and that first mistake I made nearly convinced me to keep things that way; until I received your words of encouragement. Thank you for welcoming me to these forums so kindly.   Jani, your quick response helped me feel connected to other people like me when until now I've felt almost completely alone in these matters. Your reminder that the body's response to any hormone can be dictated in large part by genetics was the first thing that took my mind off the feeling that I had allowed myself to miss my one chance to live like I wanted. I have to remember that it is never too late to change.   Jackie, your words helped put things into perspective. Sometimes, I admit, I feel old at my age already. I felt like I had allowed my body to miss any and all chances to grow the way I wanted it to, but that changed a little reading your response. Knowing of someone that had felt the same way I was feeling in that moment, and was now happy with their appearance, really shook me off that state of mind. I cannot change the past, but that fact doesn't mean I can no longer be happy with my self.   Shawna, thanks for your answer. I really wish I could have gotten HRT before puberty but I didn't even know any of this was even possible. I don't know if I'll ever be entirely rid of that regret but you are right. It is what it is. I can only look forward, I cannot let the past prevent me from enjoying the present and the future.   Once more thank you to everyone. Since I posted these questions I've done some more digging around and found a group of people that may be able to help me getting HRT in my city if I wish to take that path. At the moment, I feel like that may be what I will do. However, I am taking my time to decide these things, and that is a big change from before. I was ready to start any kind of treatment however I could get it. Now I feel I don't have to take such drastic actions in order to secure my happiness. My anxiety is not entirely gone, but I am able to manage it more easily thanks to the help of people like you ladies.
    • AdriannaB
      I did talk to her mom on the phone too.She is glad I do treat her right and she did ask me this.I plan to be there when they reunite.
    • Susan R
      Thanks Jani & @SaraAW ...it has been so nice.  I hope to learn more about my bio family in time now that I’ve unlocked Pandora’s box.   I wish you and Nikki the best of luck on your reunion. Hopefully, Nikki will get all the answers about her bio mom & family she’s been searching for all her life.   Susan R🌷
    • TrIIIy
      I highly recommend aikido as a self-defense martial art. I did it for only a couple of years, but I understand enough of it to see that it is a great way to get out of/end trouble. There are no strikes in it. It is only defense. I wish that my old dojo were still open. I’d be there every week.
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...