Help, I'm so confused

[Nicks1]

Hi guys, I'm new to this forum and quite frankly new to all of this feeling or I thought I was. So about 2 weeks ago I started to dream about being transgender, those dreams then started turning into a sort of wish and need so I'm really confused by these feelings of needing and wishing and each minute of the day the feeling gets stronger and I'm at the point now where I'm actually pretty certain I'm transgender. When I think back about my life I actually realise iv probably always know (when I was 5 I would walk around and tell everyone I wanted a "Willie" when I grew up LOL) and now 23 years later I actually realise how much of a male iv always felt inside. Am I transgender or what?? I have no idea where to go from here.

[Charlize]

Welcome Nick.  Thank you for sharing.  If you spend some time here you will see others who feel just as you do.  No-one can tell you what your path may be,  I've found that expressing myself in an accepting environment has helped me discover and then accept my path.

 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[AsTheCrow]

Welcome!

 

Questioning is a perfectly good thing to be. My advice would be to take it easy. There's no race, no competitors, and no finish line. Just live your life, and most likely, answers will start coming.

 

You've found a great space in this forum. Stick around! Safe community is a great way to start feeling more comfortable in yourself. You'll see people with stories similar to yours, and people with very different stories, and both can help you answer your questions.

 

Finally, I'm fond of repeating two bits of wisdom which have helped me:

1. There's no difference between wanting to be a certain gender and actually being that gender.
2. Cisgender folks don't usually spend time wondering whether they're trans.

Okay, that's all I got for now. Glad you're here.

[Jani]

Greetings Nick and welcome.   My friends have expressed my thoughts also.  Don't stress over this, go with the flow.  Be who you are and you will find peace.

 

Cheers, Jani 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Nick.  You share a problem most of us have or did have at some point; wondering whether you're transgender.  Many of us repressed our feelings early on, when it was much less "safe" to come out than it is now.  So coming to the realization later in life is not unusual.

 

That said, we can't answer your question with any certainty; only you can do that, and often with the help of a gender therapist.  Unfortunately, I know that finding one in the U.K. (and particularly in Wales) under the NHS regs can be a long and arduous process.  But there are a great many UK folks here who can offer advice that might help things along.

 

In the meantime, please look around the forums and make yourself at home.  We'll be here to answer any questions.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Nicks1]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. 

I'm definitely sticking around on this forum it's probably the only time of my day that I find peace with myself reading everyone's stories and or getting some sort of advice from others.

 

But I would just like to ask how everyone dealt with the thought of coming out to others as trans?? That's the only part I'm not certain of. My job is very public and see 100s of people each and everyday.

 

[SugarMagnolia]

It scared me to death for many years. I really had a hard time imagining it working. But I've taken small steps over the last few and am now out 100% at work and full time everywhere.

 

Everyone's situation is different, but my work transition has been really easy. I'm a software engineer so not dealing with the public all the time but it's gone really well. 

 

Your mileage may vary, but every fear I've had has turned out much better in practice than I expected.

 

You could start with small steps though and take your time getting more comfortable with each step. There's nothing that says you have to end up in a certain spot so try each new thing on and then see if you want to do more.

 

~Julie

 

 

[Jani]

It scared me as well but as I found once you start to reveal who you are it gets easier and easier.  The idea is to not worry about what others think since you can only control what you think.   Taking small steps is great advice.  

 

All my best, Jani