Passing with small children

[Cyndee]

  We had a pretty severe wind storm over the weekend, and I was cleaning up our property front and back, lot's of tree debris, quite the mess, and some neighbor's kids from near by renters were curiously watching me clean up, while playing. Slowly the little girl starts filling my barrel with limbs and sticks, smiling, then her little brother came over and they both started helping me. The girl was about 8, her younger brother perhaps 4. Eventually I made small talk with the girl and she asked my name, and I thanked her for helping me, and then she was overheard telling her brother about me and what I was doing in all in the correct pronouns, how sweet was this, to hear this from a child I've just met. To illustrate a bit, I was wearing jeans, and a hoodie, no makeup, and floppy hat on, just me. They both helped me fill the barrel with sticks and limbs, and left after about an hour. It was nice meeting these kids and being treated as simply an older female neighbor. The yard is cleaned up now, and ready for our next storm.

 

For the sake of this forum, was it attitude (name), voice, or perhaps mannerisms that sent the correct signals, to the young people ? it certainly was not my clothes or any make up ;-).

 

Nothing like the innocence of a young person, the simple joys, and that's my post tonight....

 

Cynthia -

[RithiaAllen]

2 hours ago, Cyndee said:

  We had a pretty severe wind storm over the weekend, and I was cleaning up our property front and back, lot's of tree debris, quite the mess, and some neighbor's kids from near by renters were curiously watching me clean up, while playing. Slowly the little girl starts filling my barrel with limbs and sticks, smiling, then her little brother came over and they both started helping me. The girl was about 8, her younger brother perhaps 4. Eventually I made small talk with the girl and she asked my name, and I thanked her for helping me, and then she was overheard telling her brother about me and what I was doing in all in the correct pronouns, how sweet was this, to hear this from a child I've just met. To illustrate a bit, I was wearing jeans, and a hoodie, no makeup, and floppy hat on, just me. They both helped me fill the barrel with sticks and limbs, and left after about an hour. It was nice meeting these kids and being treated as simply an older female neighbor. The yard is cleaned up now, and ready for our next storm.

 

For the sake of this forum, was it attitude (name), voice, or perhaps mannerisms that sent the correct signals, to the young people ? it certainly was not my clothes or any make up ;-).

 

Nothing like the innocence of a young person, the simple joys, and that's my post tonight....

 

Cynthia -

It's all of the above.

[VickySGV]

It is possible that mom had clued them in to  who to expect, but in time when we have gotten over self consciousness we do exhibit the qualities of our preferred / lived gender and the children pick it up.  I have had recent experiences with young Trans children, who are not Trans to themselves at all, and who accept adults as who the adult most seems like. 

[tracy_j]

That's lovely Cynthia!

 

Although there are times when small children look at me, almost staring, I do wonder if it is more the colour of my hair rather than anything else. I don't come across them often to talk to, but when I have, I have had no obvious issues. It did make me think when at an open air party last year. A toddler was playing with a bubble machine, and I spent time with him showing how it worked. I don't even know who his parents were but they were obviously unconcerned. Maybe I worry too much but these days people are far more wary of people with their children who may be either male or controversial.

 

Tracy

[Cyndee]

Just now, tracy_j said:

 Maybe I worry too much but these days people are far more wary of people with their children who may be either male or controversial.

 

 

 

You know Tracy, you're right what you say above, in fact they wanted to come into our back yard to help (out of sight from parents). My soul mate and I explained they should have their parent's permission to come back over and help in the back yard, which they left and came back with stated permission, as we were waving to the parents down the street. I don't know the folks really, like I said I think they are fairly new in our neighborhood. The little ones were perfectly at ease helping us out with all the tree mess. It was all quite simple interactions with them both, nicely behaved kids, that just wanted to help us, how sweet. I did not read too much into this encounter, or try to over analyze things.

 

C -

[Kirsten]

That’s great Cyndee! Funny how the kids seem to just get it. It really says a lot about the issues of social stigmas. From my experience this is the generation that will knock down a lot of those stigmas and walls. If the older generations let them at least. 

[Charlize]

   That is such an affirming story Cyndee.  Thanks for sharing it.  I remember being afraid of the reactions of young children.  Time has made that fear recede and as it did their reactions to me have improved regardless of my presentation.  

   I am still somewhat amazed when a group of young girls passes and don't even take a second look.  That was a group that terrified me when i first ventured out as myself.

  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[Briana]

That's awesome Cyndee!  Little kids don't bother me really.  To me, their questions really come from more of an innocent child perspective vs.  anything with malicious intent.  It's pre-teens and teens.  OMG there are so many kids out there with no manners or respect.  I often wonder...was I that bad??

[Janeshannon]

Beautiful story @Cyndee. We always make sure parents know when their children enter the private areas of our house for our protection, for the children's protection, and so parents know where their kids are. Small moments like that are so enriching for all involved. I hope you are able to continue getting to know these children. 

 

JS