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Tessa

Is Cross Dressing A Sin

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Tessa

So much I’ve read on this subject. I am a believer and have been all my life. I love people deeply. I have come out to my mom that I am a closet cross dresser and that I feel more like a woman than a man. I love my mom very much and would never want to hurt her. She keeps telling me that we are still under the law of the Old Testament where God states a man should not wear woman’s clothes. The scripture is in Leviticus somewhere.  

 

My mom does’nt judge me and that’s good because my brothers would. I don’t want to be in danger of hell. When I wear woman’s clothes it feels good.  I was also told  that you shouldn’t trust your feelings. However, my intuition has gotten me out of so many bad things. I value it. I know when something is wrong. 

 

I just woke up from a day dream where once again I was a woman. I was being told in my dream to change back into a man. I saw myself combing out my curls and in my dream I was ashamed and mad. 

 

I started dressing in woman’s clothes when I was younger. I remember trying on mom’s shoes to start. Then later in life when my wife ignored all physical and emotional intimacy from me. I ashamably would put on her clothes late at night after the kids were asleep. She worked the graveyard shifts. I think she knew but never said anything. So how does God see this? 

 

After the divorce I purchased my own collection of woman’s clothes but I would feel bad so I would throw them in the dumpster.  However, I would find myself buying them again and throwing those away. This was a normal cycle and it was costing me money. So the last woman’s clothes I bought I’ve kept. 

 

No matter how much I try to get rid of them I can’t. I feel if I throw them away I’m throwing myself away and my money to. I’ll be right back to the store to buy more. 

 

I’m trying to cope with these feelings while trying to be a Dad/Mom. My ex does not care about my children. To add to this my 14 year old girl wants to be a boy. 

 

I love the thought of being Tessa and not the man but society, church, family, and my own convictions tell me this is just a problem and it will go away. 

 

I feel I’m the problem because I can’t seem to make it go away. Everything  in my life has been destroyed. I have no home (when I say that I mean physical home. I have an apartment), a few friends, and not many possesions. I pay my wife half my check in child support living on nothing. I got a degree now and a new job and I want to move up in the business. 

 

If anyone knew the inner struggle maybe they would understand. Today I’m wearing all men’s clothes but it isn’t always like that. 

 

Ok, that’s enough. 

 

Please let me know what you think? I hope to get some Christians prospective here?But anyone can answer. I’m not here to judge anyone. I’m here to look for answers. 

 

Love yourself always, 

 

Tessa👩‍🦳

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MaryMary

A lot of clothes that woman wear today was man clothing not too long ago. The definition of what is "woman clothing" changes from culture to culture and also depending on the time. I'm going to be honest, I'm an atheist. But, I have a lot of respect for the beliefs of others. I just submit the idea :

does the bible talk about the actual physical piece of clothing or the role. Because clothing was once upon a time very controlled and each sex / social cast was dressing in a different way. Maybe it's just a metaphore to express the belief of the author in very defined roles? Because the way people dress in general is very free these days. Why would it not be ok for man to wear a dress and ok for woman to wear pants? Woman started to wear pants not too long ago, are they really going to hell? I studied litterature and I have books of woman explorer (the first ones). They were wearing big maxi dresses in the desert and stuff. Can you believe that?

 

I'm just trowing the idea out there. Again, I do that with total respect. I really don't think crossdressing is a sin. My 2 cents

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MaryMary

archive image in 1909 :

800px-BellK_218_Gertrude_Bell_in_Iraq_in_1909_age_41.jpg

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DeeDee

Hi Tessa,

 

It is not a sin. Mary is correct that fashions have changed so much that many male clothes now were female once and vice versa as well as things like wigs and makeup  - it all being society dependant. 

 

As a Christian minister with an honours degree I have studied this before I started questioning my gender and so here is my perspective (which is no more or less valid than anyone elses my denomination is split 50,50 on these issues.

 

At a basic level we accept that God is neither male nor female and that he created all of us male and female. We have interpreted that to be binary in Hebrew there was no stress on the "and".

 

If you are Jewish you would live under the "Torah" Abrahamic covenant - Old Testament laws listed in the first five books of the modern Bible, yet many Jewish scholars also see precedent for being accepting.

 

Christianity believes that Christ came and fulfilled the law, which is why we call ourselves followers of him.

 

So under Christ the old laws no longer applied because they were simply not needed anymore - he was and is enough for us all to come to God - which is why he could ignore the old ways and sit and eat with sinners and gentiles.

Paul had his own issues with charlatans, con artists and the cultic and pagan practices of his time which is where most of the anti-lgbtq+ stuff comes from in the new testament - those who would seek to manipulate and take advantage of chlidren and adults.

 

Jesus had nothing to say about lgbtq+ people and plenty to say about the judgemental, hypocritical law quoters and religious teachers of his day.

 

Without wishing to be crass I would bet that your mum wears mixed fabric clothes easily enough and doesn't leave the town limits every time she has her period. Both of which are Levitical rules to do with purity that did apply when they were needed but we know do not now in our context.

 

There is also the argument that trans or cis if you are a woman wearing womans clothes you are still wearing the correct clothes for your gender, and it is when you are presenting male the rest of the time that you are cross dressing.

 

Christ said the greatest commandment was to love God and to love our neighbour as ourselves, if we are doing that then we are living "Biblically". Hope this helps, feel free to pm if you want to go into this further, it is literally what I do for a living. x

 

Each of us has been fearfully and wonderfully made - before you were born God knew you and loved you.

He already sees the real you regardless of what clothing you use to cover yourself - it is effectively the same argument for wearing "Sunday Best", someone who sees the purity of your heart is not going to be distracted by the niceness of your threads. ❤️

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VickySGV

Even though I am a Christian, I often see the wisdom of a Wiccan  admonition that "If it harm no one, do as you will" as the wiser way to do things.  I have also researched into Jewish discussions on the meaning of several Old Testament passages that are often used against us by fearful and ignorant people.  The Deuteronomy 22:5 passage about male and female clothing is now known to have been non-gendered since its most humane interpretation refers to disabled people made to serve in military combat positions where they were going to get killed immediately.  Likewise pretending to be disabled to avoid military training or to have sex in another man's harem (polygamy was allowed then) is frowned upon.  There are instances in the OT where men did cross dress as women to do spying on cities set to be hit for conquest, and they were honored for bravery.  A sin is something that makes you ashamed and fearful of God and takes you from God, get rid of the shame and if it makes you feel better about yourself, then it makes you closer to God.  Others commit sin by shaming you. 

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Susan R
1 hour ago, Tessa said:

I love the thought of being Tessa and not the man but society, church, family, and my own convictions tell me this is just a problem and it will go away. 

I make it a point to never comment on open forum about my past religious affiliations but I am changing that right now because I want someone..anyone to prove me wrong.  I've told my wife, my my old girlfriend Was with me and the ministry prayer team was present too as that participated in what transpired. I did not mention this in my intro because I thought it would piss too many people off and it wasn't really critical.

 

So 1985-86 were two years of major life stage changes.  I had my first of two major purges in my life then but immediately restarted the cycle of crossdressing.  I met my old girlfriend and due to a freak series of events, I had to immediately tell her about my crossdressing (or someone else would have).  She was very accepting and like my current wife, embraced it.  I was attending a very large Christain church off and on. My old girlfriend and I would attend services  with me.  There was a guest one service that talked about casting out demons and prayerful healing.  My old gf and I talked about this.  We came to the conclusion that if God wanted me to stop crossdressing it was in his power to remove this thorn of mine (yes, I called it that and although Paul admits to also having a thorn in the New Testament, I have no idea what it was?..who knows, maybe he crossdressed too) I digress.  So a few days and many discussions later my gf and I decide to make an appointment to talk to the paster. That was the easy part.  I went to the church that evening and sat in total fear and told them all about my "thorn" and had them all pray over me. They said I need to purge everything related to my crossdressing.   Well, that was simple because I had just started rebuilding it only a month or so earlier. I felt good to purge the few item I had bought and thought maybe this was the right thing.  I was inspired and convinced I was finally cured.  After this mini-purge, I was left with feeling my gf and I had a new beginning. 

 

I wish that would have happened.  In short, It didn't.  Within a week I was back at it, shopping for new clothes it was a let down and exciting all at once.  This was the beginning of my 11 years living as a female after work.  My gf knew I had tried to beat it and again accepted me for who I was for many years.

 

I am a strong believer in the power of prayer and instant healing but there are some things it will not touch, for whatever reason.  I believe that prayer has no affect on for instance...obesity, homosexuality, transsexualism, and transvestism (crossdressing).  I have yet to ever hear of a single time where this is the case.  I'm not even sure if you can prove without a doubt someone is cured even if they say they are.  I feel the feeling may subside for a time like my week long "cure" of my thorn.

Of course, maybe I'm way off base.  I went into that church thinking I would be and had no doubt I was cured...but wasn't.  So would God condemn us with a "thorn" like mine with no way to cure it if it was punishable by eternal damnation?  I can't see a loving God doing something like this to me.  Sorry everyone but that's just my opinion.  So Tessa I wish you the best of luck with this but if anything I say doesn't make sense, please steer me in the right direction because in my opinion it's NOT a sin.

 

my 2¢,

Susan R🌷

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Tessa

Thanks for everyone responses. I value everyone’s opinions. I was married 13 years and before then never was close enough to anyone to sleep with them. They were all woman. So I wouldn’t know how my next relationship would take this. It sounds to me that more people are open minded these days. 

 

About the thorn in the flesh. I do feel this is mine for now. I never win this battle. Today I tried and went out in all men’s clothes but when I got home I was lonely so I put on my dress and emmediately I felt better! How can a piece of clothing change your mood like that? 

 

Being personal here. I have a pretend boyfriend. He’s a doctor and he loves me and when I’m blue he knows what to say and he will hold me. I can’t get into my fantasy if I’m in men’s clothes. This fantasy is all I have. I’m not crazy am I? 

 

I lived a married life and for years was rejected hugs, kisses, and any effection. I think that does something to a person. I self talk to myself and I’ve read that is not a bad thing. My fantasy is not destructive and in a way it’s self healing. I just wish that there was a person as perfect as the guy in my fantasy. 

 

What are you guys thoughts on fantasy’s? 

 

Love 

 

Tessa👩‍🦳

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Susan R
44 minutes ago, Tessa said:

Being personal here. I have a pretend boyfriend. He’s a doctor and he loves me and when I’m blue he knows what to say and he will hold me. I can’t get into my fantasy if I’m in men’s clothes. This fantasy is all I have. I’m not crazy am I? 

You are not crazy at all...maybe a little more open than me but even that's debatable.  Role play is healthy in my opinion.  We all fantasize to some degree.  Sometimes it's all internalized mentally and other times we externalize it like you may be doing with yourself.  My wife and I do this in subtle ways and it's sometimes soothing and other times exhilarating depending on the situation.

 

Susan R🌷

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VickySGV

I am  a Lay Elder in my accepting and affirming branch of Christianity but there are people who forget to ask Trans people what they need in terms of ministry from Clergy and Clergy making mistakes.  I was included in a group of 2 other Trans people, a Non-Binary and two Lesbians as the Brain Trust for a Cis / Het priest who is working on finding ways to better serve Trans Christians.  For a few minutes we did discuss the nature of Christian Healing for Trans people.

 

In the sense we spoke of it, Healing and Curing are different things and while "miracles of cure" are deemed possible, Healing is the much more likely.  Healing in that sense is bringing about reconciliation with the patient (petitioner), their family and Church and God.  For Trans People, the healing reconciliation takes place when the Trans Person accepts the lasting nature of GD and its inability to be cured and seeks guidance to reach their point where they can live life in comfort with the Divine Image that identifies them.  For the families and their church, the healing takes place as they go through the grief of loss of a person who they have known for years and accept the new person in the place of the old.  In one sense they experience a death and a resurrection of the Trans person.  At that point, the God who felt so far from them (not really true) and un approachable can be seen as accepting and once again welcoming which is the ultimate healing.  Not a quick or easy path to walk on, but a worthwhile one indeed.

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Tessa

Thanks for all who posted. 

 

Tessa👩‍🦳

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