I KNOW I'm transgender BUT...

[JustKatie]

So let me start with saying flat out I am transgender. I have absolutely no doubts about that. The level of transgenderness I am is something I am still debating but it's definitely up there.

 

But I have two kinda issues that have held me back from fully saying "sod it, let me come out to everyone so I can get on with my life" and here they are.

 

1. I am convinced that ALL men actually want to be female. They just hide it because you know, male ego means they have to beat their chest and say "me man" as much as possible, but deep down they want to be female.

I dont mean for a night for some kinda fetish but fully.

What I'm saying is I honestly feel that all men think like I do about their gender. 

Yes even the transphobic ones.

 

So if all men think like this I am just another man who thinks like other men.

 

2. I don't want to be treated as a woman. 

 

What I mean by this is I just want to be treated exactly the same as I am now. Crude jokes are fine, I don't need help lifting things, I can open a door by myself.

I just want to look fully like a woman and be treated the same.

 

But I have heard that unless I want to be treated as a woman then I am not transgender and instead a crossdresser.

I thought I was a crossdresser for a while until I realised that the majority of crossdressing men were comfortable being men and didn't want to be women at all.

 

Your thoughts?

[Kirsten]

Well I can tell you that it’s a very small percentage of men that want to be women. Very small. Like only trans people. Since coming out literally EVERY male in my life has told me I’m nuts wanting to be a female. If anything most men want nothing at all to do with females unless it’s in the bedroom. Lol. 

As far as the how to be treated thing, other people are gonna treat you according to how you look. And honestly after some time on hrt, you may want someone to carry heavy things for you. Your mind will change to extents you can’t even fathom. Things taste different. Things smell different. You see differently. You think feel act and simply ARE different. 

 

I think you are not too sure who or what you are right now. Which is fine. This is a loooong process in which a lot of soul searching and self reflection are required. Along with therapy. Take your time and start small. Figure out what you like and don’t like. But be sure before you move forward because a lot of this can not be reversed. You’ll loose friends and family. You’ll add a lot of issues in general as well. Transition is a difficult process. 

Good luck 

[JustKatie]

Just now, Kirsten said:

Well I can tell you that it’s a very small percentage of men that want to be women. Very small. Like only trans people. Since coming out literally EVERY male in my life has told me I’m nuts wanting to be a female. If anything most men want nothing at all to do with females unless it’s in the bedroom. Lol. 

As far as the how to be treated thing, other people are gonna treat you according to how you look. And honestly after some time on hrt, you may want someone to carry heavy things for you. Your mind will change to extents you can’t even fathom. Things taste different. Things smell different. You see differently. You think feel act and simply ARE different. 

 

I think you are not too sure who or what you are right now. Which is fine. This is a loooong process in which a lot of soul searching and self reflection are required. Along with therapy. Take your time and start small. Figure out what you like and don’t like. But be sure before you move forward because a lot of this can not be reversed. You’ll loose friends and family. You’ll add a lot of issues in general as well. Transition is a difficult process. 

Good luck 

 

Hey Kirsten :)

 

I probably should've put about where I am in my post.

 

ive known kinda all my life but the last three years have really drilled home that I can't go on like this.

i did actually go to my GP who told me to come back in a year and I gave up and bought HRT online.

 

now I know a lot of people go mad at that but it's a reputable company who I trust fully and the doses are typically quite low.

 

I was on HRT for three full months and yes! The changes were noticeable, and in a good way for me :)

Of the four people I've told, two were amazing, one was a bit odd and the other I -toasted- off straight away.

 

All I can say is that after three months I didn't act any different at all although I did cry a lot more (and I am a crier off HRT).

 

I guess I'm just a bit scared of being hated and treated as if I'm a different person :)

 

[Vinter]

I think there is a lot of people who choose to not transition despite wanting to be the opposite gender. 

 

I have my own reasons for not transitioning even though it would probably make me happier. Maybe we both should just transition of happiness is the goal but i am not sure if i want to maximize my happiness. 

 

[JustKatie]

Just now, MaryMary said:

 

 

2. Me neither, not especially. I want to be treated like a human and just be me. To me being trans* (MTF) is about being myself. 

Just this! I'm totally for equality so why the flip should I be treated any different just because I'm a girl and not a man ffs?

 

[Susan]

Hello Katie. I love your topic! I waited a long time to start transition because it wasn't acceptable when I was younger and I didn't want to be made fun of even more than I was already. All I can say for you is be yourself and be happy with your self and love yourself if this makes any sense. Hugs! 

[Beverly]

There are plenty of women who don't want to be treated as such, so you're in good company. The signals you send out will have a lot to do with how you're perceived and treated. You can be beautiful and a strong woman at the same time. Go for it!

[Robin]

Hi Katie,

 

I have noticed over the years, that many men seem to enjoy dressing as a tart for the occasional fancy dress party, but I don't think that most of them have any notion of what it is like to feel female.  It is just an opportunity for them to have a laugh, and it might be sexually arousing to some extent.

 

Before I realised that I was trans, I often tried to discover the differences in the way in which men and women think.  This was never successful, due to the fact that I was using myself as the example of a male mind.  The magic ingredient that made someone female was invisible to me because I just accepted it as normal.

 

I don't look sufficiently feminine yet, so I cannot comment on what it is like to be treated as a woman.

 

Robin.