Do you tell people you're an "androgyne" or something more vague?

[GothicLucas]

This is probably a silly little thing. While considering what to put in my musician bio, I thought about specifying that I'm an androgyne, but for some reason that seems like a word that I can't call myself? It feels like a label that other people are supposed to give me. Now I'm stopping and wondering why I feel like "androgyne" is an earned word? My mind keeps going back to an article I read about some androgynous male models. The author called them beautiful androgynes, and for some reason that stuck with me. I think it was the first time I'd seen that word used outside of the trans community, and it was used in a different way than I knew it.

I stopped identifying as FTM because I didn't enjoy feeling like I needed to prove to everyone that I was a man. Even the cis men I know all struggle with this feeling, like they have to constantly prove they're man enough, like they're just boys until they earn the title of "man." I wanted nothing to do with that bs and chose to avoid it. I realized I'm doing the same thing to androgyne, though--I have to prove I'm androgynous enough in order to earn the title. Is it just me, or do other people feel that way? 

It's not really the same thing as not feeling trans enough. That's a different feeling, for me.

Is it normal, or unusual and arrogant, to introduce yourself as an androgyne? Don't people go "What? No you're not," if you can clearly pass as a woman or man, even despite your best efforts at androgyny? I've been telling people I'm genderqueer or nonbinary instead, but those aren't specific enough.

[VickySGV]

I first heard the term Androgyne 60+ years ago, and at the time it had a lot of mileage since it meant either a man who had soft smooth features as opposed to rugged an sharply defined features.  It applied in reverse to women who had ruggedly defined features and skin that was coarser.  It had to do more with just a body than with clothing and behavior.  Today, the whole thing there has flipped and it is about chosen presentation as opposed to natal features.  If you introduce yourself that way, I will respect it, but otherwise it's a term that asks too many questions.  I also think the word is misused as you quoted it but that is not your doing if you quoted it.  

[Carolyn Marie]

It would be very rare for me to introduce myself as anything other than as Carolyn, a woman.  It's harder still to imagine a situation in which anyone would introduce themselves as an androgynous person, unless it was, say, a seminar at which it would be important to establish your bona fides or "credentials."

 

That said, if you were going to self-identity that way, you should think about how you would explain it to someone not familiar, which includes many of us, as it is not as well understood and familiar as gay, lesbian, trans, etc.  I don't think self-identifying as an androgyne would come across as arrogant, but I think the most common response might be, "can you please explain that to me," or "what do you mean?"  If you're comfortable offering an explanation, then its something to consider. 

 

Carolyn Marie

[tracy_j]

I understand where you are coming from with this. I don't use the term 'androgyne' very much as I don't think people would understand it, but it does give a better explanation of who I am. It is not often I go in for explanations anyway. I find that men often ignore them, making up their own minds (often wrongly) and women don't need them (a simplification but not too far out). Alternatives such as gender queer or non-binary or gender fluid drift away in their variations. As I am generally presenting female but often androgynous in dress I am recognised as male at times, female at others. Androgyne is good for me, although I generally use male or female dependant on context, and female as preference.

 

On 4/24/2019 at 8:42 PM, GothicLucas said:

I have to prove I'm androgynous enough in order to earn the title. Is it just me, or do other people feel that way?

 

I suppose I once thought that way as often androgyne people are shown as being young so maybe older skin wouldn't fit the pattern, but living that way for a few years now has changed my perception.

 

Tracy