Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Aidan5

Typical high school stuff

Recommended Posts

Aidan5

I am at the age where everyone starts dating one another and there are breakups left and right. I kinda just chill unnoticed, which is a good and bad thing lol. I am an easily flustered person, but I know how to flirt(sometimes). 

 

The other day I saw a really cute girl while on my way home, we kinda just looked at each other then, like an idiot, I just gave her a really awkward smile and she laughed. I got really embarrassed and just went on with my day. But I also feel really close to one of my friends who respects me as a man, we talk to each other with every opportunity we get, but sadly I am grounded from my phone (Long story I might post later) and he doesn't have social media. School is the only time we spend together, and the bus. We both really like a show called "Jojo's bizarre adventures" and are constantly making references to the show. Another really cool dude I recently met is actually a cross-dresser, which I find really cool and might invite them to this website. 

 

I have dated before and held hands, but that's as far as I have gone, I refused to kiss my last partner, because I wasn't comfortable since we had just started dating. (I low-key dodged him) 

 

From time to time I feel lonely and wish I could have someone special like all my friends, I get tossed aside because sex is not the first thing on my mind, I just want them to know I am after their heart and not after what's in their pants. You would think being bisexual would make it easier to find a girlfriend or boyfriend, ha. Of course I am not throwing myself at people, I will be patient and let time to its thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

I don't have any great, or not so great, recommendations except to say that i'm sure you will find special friends in time.  I remember being where you are now and how desperate things seemed.  Life fortunately goes on and solves so many of the problems we have today.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
NB Adult

Bottom line is that you come off as a sweet person, which is a plus for you as eventually you are going to win someone's heart.

Share this post


Link to post
Jackie C.
10 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

I am at the age where everyone starts dating one another and there are breakups left and right. I kinda just chill unnoticed, which is a good and bad thing lol. I am an easily flustered person, but I know how to flirt(sometimes). 

 

The other day I saw a really cute girl while on my way home, we kinda just looked at each other then, like an idiot, I just gave her a really awkward smile and she laughed. I got really embarrassed and just went on with my day. But I also feel really close to one of my friends who respects me as a man, we talk to each other with every opportunity we get, but sadly I am grounded from my phone (Long story I might post later) and he doesn't have social media. School is the only time we spend together, and the bus. We both really like a show called "Jojo's bizarre adventures" and are constantly making references to the show. Another really cool dude I recently met is actually a cross-dresser, which I find really cool and might invite them to this website. 

 

I have dated before and held hands, but that's as far as I have gone, I refused to kiss my last partner, because I wasn't comfortable since we had just started dating. (I low-key dodged him) 

 

From time to time I feel lonely and wish I could have someone special like all my friends, I get tossed aside because sex is not the first thing on my mind, I just want them to know I am after their heart and not after what's in their pants. You would think being bisexual would make it easier to find a girlfriend or boyfriend, ha. Of course I am not throwing myself at people, I will be patient and let time to its thing.

 

Yeah, I can relate. I dated a little in high school (senior year) but for the most part I couldn't buy a date until I was in my 20s. From what other FtMs have told me you're also going to look younger than you are because of the HRT. A lot of MtFs grow a beard because it helps cover up the baby-face.

 

As a total aside, one of my very best friends from junior high identifies as bi-gendered. He's really active in the trans community and I wished he lived closer so I could pick his brain for makeup tricks.

 

I'm getting off topic. I think it's mostly because we're not comfortable in our own skins yet and prospective partners pick up on that subconsciously. For example, while I was chronically dateless, I had a ton of female friends who would tell me every little detail about their lives. Which, strangely, made me feel more at home because I enjoy just being one of the girls.

 

And there I go again. So yeah, High School is rough on trans-kids. It's better than it was in the 80s in some ways, probably worse in others. I was just glad to be done with it. Dating happens when it happens. You'll find somebody when you're ready. Then you'll dramatically flame out a couple of times (maybe a lot of times) until you find the right someone to spend the rest of your life with. Or at least the next couple of years. Marriage isn't a fairy tale. It's more work than you think and if one of you isn't putting in the effort, it'll fall apart.

 

But that's life. You live it day to day and grab what happiness you can, you know?

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
ShawnaLeigh
4 hours ago, NB Adult said:

Bottom line is that you come off as a sweet person, which is a plus for you as eventually you are going to win someone's heart.

Truth.  Every time this will work for you vs against you.  The right person just needs to see it.  They are out there right now 

Share this post


Link to post
Clara
15 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

but I also feel really close to one of my friends who respects me as a man

When I got with my partner, we had already been close friends of almost a year. we already had a good chemistry with each other and us getting together didn't change much in our interaction outside of "I love you" at the end of conversations and a few flirtatious jokes and comments (I mean I also borrow his hoodies but he did that with our mutual close friend before we started dating). so don't be nervous about a relationship with a close friend especially if you have good chemistry togeher

Share this post


Link to post
Aidan5

Thanks to everyone who commented advice and some insight on their own experiences with dating. I really do appreciate it. For now I am just going to sit back and observe the chaos of relationships haha. If someone has an eye on me I would have no clue, because I am oblivious to flirting half the time. Anyways, thanks again everyone :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Jackie C.
2 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

 If someone has an eye on me I would have no clue, because I am oblivious to flirting half the time.

 

Ugh, SUCH a guy. 😋

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Aidan5
4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Ugh, SUCH a guy. 😋

 

Hugs!

That comment made me laugh, and it made my day.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 232 Guests (See full list)

    • A. Dillon
    • Regn
    • Astrid
    • nitehwk
    • Crystal92
    • Markjvp
    • NB Adult
    • MaryMary
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,394
    • Total Posts
      626,932
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,899
    • Most Online
      8,356

    CD Katrina
    Newest Member
    CD Katrina
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. AnddyWillBeOkay
      AnddyWillBeOkay
    2. Stephaniew
      Stephaniew
      (53 years old)
  • Posts

    • Astrid
      OMG, I'm gonna need an extra hour of exercise just from reading that!!  🍪😎
    • NB Adult
      Such wonderful advice from you both, my heart goes out to Belle but I think you both have so much more to offer her in terms of much more recent experience. My kids are in their late 40's and early 50's, so there's been a lot of water under the bridge since I began transition and they were in their 20's then so it was just kind of who cares on their part.
    • TammyAnne
      That's supposed to say "thank you for your service." I have no idea how the other letters and words appeared. Haunted tablet I guess.
    • TammyAnne
      Thanks know you for your service, Laura!
    • TammyAnne
      Many years ago I was faced with staying in a marriage that was slowly killing me - for the children's sake - or leaving and trying to build a safe space for my children away from their mother. It was very difficult but I chose to leave rather than suffer "for the children" knowing that staying only demonstrated for them what an unhealthy relationship looked like. For nearly a decade it seemed like a disaster, my children taking their anger out on me for hurting their mommy. Then they grew up, made adult decisions, began to appreciate the safe space away from their controlling, clinging, smothering mother. I have a very good relationship with one child. A not very good relationship with the other, who was damaged emotionally by "mommy". None of those outcomes were predictable from the initial decision I made, nor were they indicated by the first decade after my decision. Presuming you decide to do what is best for you - whatever that might be - stay focused on making a good life and creating a good environment for your children. Even if it seems futile, there will come a time... TA
    • SaraAW
      Busy day today. Went to my wife’s MS Christmas luncheon, did some grocery shopping and just finished baking several dozen cookies. Made triple chocolate Nutella stuffed cookie with macadamia nuts. Tomorrow I make some Turtle cookies. It’s for a baking competition at work on Monday. I haven’t baked in quite some time. Forgot how much I enjoy it. I hope everyone had a good day. *hugs*
    • Carolyn Marie
      Please remember not to post any identifying information on the open forums, and be extremely careful what information you share.  If you do meet with anyone you met online, please do so in a safe, public space, sans alcohol, and people you trust know where you will be, with whom, and for how long.  If TP staff feel that anything in this thread violates policy, it will be removed.   Carolyn Marie
    • Jani
      Thanks!
    • Laura76
      Belle and Jani,   Thank you both. I have ordered the book on Amazon.   Laura76
    • Laura76
      Air Force May 1977-May 1980 Oregon Air National Guard 1982-1983 California Air National Guard 1982-1987
    • KymmieL
      Well thought today was going to be a better day than it turned out. Work went fine,even getting the front room freight put away before I opened the the door. took about 20 min to do. Good thing Sat is a light freight day. However the backroom freight was still in the cart when I left. The downer I looked into trading my 99 Explorer on a 06 Wrangler.  Didn't have enough to put down. God I hate car dealers.      Debra, glad it worked out for you at the funeral. May she rest in peace.   Kymmie
    • Jackie C.
      Oh, that's exhilarating, scary and wonderful all at once. My first trip out as myself was to the gas station. Not glamorous, I know. After that was the grocery store. That was about when I realized I needed to work on my voice a bit harder. It's lovely now, but I got some weird looks at first.   Have fun with it! Again, don't dwell. Nothing good comes of dwelling.   Hugs!
    • Belle
      Thank you Jackie. I've been holed up in my bed since she said that. I think I may keep myself busy this week by going out as myself in public for the first time in my life.
    • Jackie C.
      OK, then. In my little world, these are not things that people who love each other do. However, this is still pretty fresh in her mind. To give her the benefit of the doubt, she is striking out in anger and/or fear. She might even be looking at herself and thinking, "What kind of person am I to have married @Belle?" If she's as into her church group as I think she is, I can't even imagine the peer pressure she's either struggling under or thinks that she's going to be struggling under. I don't know these people. They might be great, they might also be the kind of person who does not tolerate what they perceive to be "unbelievers" in their midst. She could be afraid that they'll kick her out of the group. I can't say how attached she is to the group and how the group thinks. I don't know her. I've only got like ONE other Texan friend and she didn't live there all that long (she also said that all of Houston smells like gym socks). No, wait. Two. Dan's from Texas, but his family hasn't actually lived there in ages. Also, he's about as devout as my hermit crabs.   So, first order of business is to relax. You're trying to disappear down a dark, dank hole in your mind before you have all the information. No good decisions ever came to anybody while they were panicking. Keep yourself occupied this week. Do not dwell on your family situation. You don't have any control over that right now and it never helps to fret over things you don't have control over. Give your wife her space. You can work on projects around the house, paint your nails, work on the Christmas shopping, whatever. Keep yourself busy. Don't worry about your family situation yet.   Ok, good. Second order of business is to wait. Your wife needs to cool down. Then you need to talk to each other like adults. No shouting. No arguing. Just a nice, calm discussion. If you think you need to have the discussion with a mediator present, make that happen. You know your wife better than I do. Then discuss what she needs to keep the marriage alive and what you need to keep the marriage alive. Again, no arguing. No raised voices. Shouting at each other never helped anybody. Just talk. Pay attention to what she has to say. Hopefully, she'll do the same. Once you've talked everything out, then you can decide what you need to do. No making decisions in the heat of an argument. That's a bad plan and leads to bad decision making.   I know it's hard. This is going to be emotional for both of you. It can still work. I attended my brother in law's funeral as myself (and I looked lovely thank you very much) and I didn't burst into flames. Nobody batted an eye. I was as welcome as all the other mourners. There's no reason you can't be accepted by the church. Again, I don't know the specifics, so maybe not the one your wife attends, but services in general. That was a tangent, I apologize for that. The point is you can work through this, but you both have to want to. If only one of you is making concessions, well, marriage is supposed to be a partnership. She should want you to be happy. If she doesn't... well, then you might want to reconsider your life together. I've seen marriages where the couple makes each other miserable (I grew up on one). That doesn't help anybody.   Still pulling for you.   Hugs!
    • TammyAnne
      Hello Andrew! Welcome aboard. I agree with you that trans people have a better intuitive understanding of what others in transition are going through, regardless of how far along they are. This is a great place, glad you joined in!
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...