My first group expereince.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Well it was actually a bust. 

I was not aware but my therapist was just starting this group up and this was the very first meeting.  I had thought it was established already for some reason.  With the crappy weather/roads last night there was literally just me and my therapist.  LOL

So I got a free hour and a half, with pizza, therapy.

Not a bad evening all in all though I was looking forward to meeting other trans folks as I don't know any.

He says most groups start out slow. So hopefully it grows into something fun.

 

[VickySGV]

I am the co-moderator of a Trans / Non-binary support group at my LGBTQ Community Center and we are only two year old, and just getting to a place where we have 8 - 10 people show up consistently, so your leader is right about them being slow in the beginnings, but it is coming together beautifully.  The CC is only about 2.5 miles away from my home.  Another meeting I go to is 35 miles away by California freeways through Los Angeles which make frozen smaller country roads look like high speed travel and it has been going for 10+ years and now has 30+ people regularly which is too big as I see it for a number of reasons but is nice from the point of seeing how varied we all are. 

 

In time your group will grow and you will at least find out you are not alone and over time become the "experienced" lady in the crowd. 

[NB Adult]

I agree, when the meeting is smaller the most inhibited types will eventually feel comfortable enough to talk. Large groups don't afford that same coziness and the nervous ones lacking any self assurance will tend to hide in the back and not participate.

[ShawnaLeigh]

3 hours ago, NB Adult said:

I agree, when the meeting is smaller the most inhibited types will eventually feel comfortable enough to talk. Large groups don't afford that same coziness and the nervous ones lacking any self assurance will tend to hide in the back and not participate.

I agree with this.  I’m fairly open but not so will to share in a crowd of folks.  I’m looking for small group experience first.  

[TommieAnne]

Hope this develops into a good group for you ShawnaLeigh.

I struggle in groups anyway. If it's only a handful of people it's tolerable although I often don't speak up. Once a group reaches 15 people, it becomes a circus and I get no benefit from being there.

[Ellora]

I have been working getting the courage for my first group meeting. There is a great place 5 mins away, I just have to work on my gd. Best of luck! 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, TammyAnne said:

Hope this develops into a good group for you ShawnaLeigh.

I struggle in groups anyway. If it's only a handful of people it's tolerable although I often don't speak up. Once a group reaches 15 people, it becomes a circus and I get no benefit from being there.

 

I have the same problem. Groups of people (more than say, six) are my kryptonite unless I know them really, really well. Though, I was talking about it with my therapist and she said more than about twelve people is too big for group therapy anyway. (The group I tried to join was closer to 24.) There's not enough time for anything to really get accomplished.

 

That covered what I experienced in my experiments with group therapy. There were a couple of people I felt like I could connect with, but there were so many other people... Nothing against them. They were great, but I'm not at my best surrounded by strangers. I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it except a late night, so I stopped going.

 

Not everybody is a little introvert like me though so your mileage may vary.

 

Hugs!

[Ellora]

43 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

(The group I tried to join was closer to 24.)

 Nope. lol. I cant image how they could help 24 people in one meeting. Personally I would prefer to start out with 3-6 people. Unless I wanted to hide in the group of 24 people, lol. 

[Jackie C.]

Honestly, they could barely seat 24 people. We filled up a conference table and most of a row of seats against the wall. It was a madhouse. The moderators tried really hard and we all got to talk, but it was just a couple of sentences and no back and forth. I still have no earthly idea what a real group therapy situation is supposed to be like.

 

Like I said, they were welcoming and polite and all, but I don't feel like I got anything out of it except 40 minutes in the car and a late Thursday night.

 

Hugs!

[VickySGV]

I have moderated groups that got in the 12+ range and tracked the people who actually give verbal participation and sadly only about 4 (20%) actually even tried saying anything when given a chance.  I simply have a note pad where I write names and positions around the table, and then do check off who has shared, and yes that is how I get my figures.  Surprisingly enough, I get people who did not share or ask questions during the meeting telling me how much they got from it.  Later on though that person will open up and have something worthwhile to say and give.  I always be sure to hold time for the early non talkers and have told a few to Shut Up so one of the quiet ones could speak.  I can be pretty windy if I am not careful but even I have times when I am quiet since I just need to affirm myself by listening to others.  There are some meetings where all that happens in spite of numbers.  I love doing the moderating, and don't see it as a power trip or a personal one Trans broad show, or sure hope I do not.  We are social people.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Yea I’m not interested in more then 6-8 max.  In my opinion it’s a decent size where the comfort level is at my max but small enough to be helpful. I can deal with it.  Much bigger then I will tend to be a wall flower.  
I just really want to meet some trans folks on a safe n structured platform like this. Talk n get to know them.  Not interested in “going out” or going to bars anymore.  
So I’m hoping this pans out.   

[ShawnaLeigh]

45 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

Surprisingly enough, I get people who did not share or ask questions during the meeting telling me how much they got from it.  Later on though that person will open up and have something worthwhile to say and give.

This would be me.  Once comfortable I would be gabby.  Lol

But it would take me a while to feel that way.  Sometimes being quiet and listening gains more then being a chatter box.  I do both.  Lol

[NB Adult]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Honestly, they could barely seat 24 people. We filled up a conference table and most of a row of seats against the wall. It was a madhouse. The moderators tried really hard and we all got to talk, but it was just a couple of sentences and no back and forth. I still have no earthly idea what a real group therapy situation is supposed to be like.

 

Like I said, they were welcoming and polite and all, but I don't feel like I got anything out of it except 40 minutes in the car and a late Thursday night.

 

Hugs!

 

I recently went to a trans group meeting with Susan R, it was pleasant. There were eight to ten people present, MtF's and a few FtM's they all knew each other and got along quite well. I hadn't been to one in several years, used to attend one in Seattle and everyone there became quite close over time. We'd go out to a gay bar for drinks or a bite to eat afterwards or to a place called "Neighbors" a trans friendly gay bar with a fabulous sound system and dance floor, it was something to look forward to.

[NB Adult]

1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

I can be pretty windy if I am not careful but even I have times when I am quiet since I just need to affirm myself by listening to others.  There are some meetings where all that happens in spite of numbers.  I love doing the moderating, and don't see it as a power trip or a personal one Trans broad show, or sure hope I do not.  We are social people.

 

You obviously are an excellent moderator and the perfect person for the role! There's got to be a fine balance between being an outgoing enough type to get such a meeting up and running, and still be a good listener to redirect questions and motivate the inhibited types to become involved.